JackArbiter

Join Date 07/2008

+25

[0.992] Grammar Stuff 6

Random Stuff

Files covered in this list:

CoreMonsterUnitTypes.xml

CorePlayerAbilities.xml

CoreQuestLocations.xml

CoreMounts.xml

CoreLetters.xml is without errors!

CoreLogos.xml

CoreFlavorText.xml

The first and last are the largest, the rest are just a few things each.

Files left to do:

CoreUnits.xml

CoreSpells.xml

CoreRandomEvents.xml

CoreQuests.xml

CoreItems.xml

CoreGoodieHuts.xml

The ones left are all huge files

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CoreMonsterUnitTypes.xml

I include the png file name so you can find these since the monster name is so far apart from the description - a few don't have specific sprites, so I lead with the name.

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<Quote>You are nothing more than insects scurrying upon the shell of the world.</Quote>

<Backstory>Glory to any champion who is able to defeat Abeix. In times of old, he was one of the Five - the Elemental Lords worshipped by the peoples of Anthuane. But the coming of the Titans weakened his powers, and his followers' numbers. And the Cataclysm, some say, drove him mad.

Now he waits beneath the world, guardian of the Bhinadmi and the Bhinmuna, ready to fight any and all who would invade his domain. Know that few weapons can damage his armored hide; few fighters can survive his acidic spittle. </Backstory>

<All>M_Abeix_Card.png</All>

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<Quote>Do not mistake me for a gentle midsummer breeze; I am the howl of destruction...</Quote>

<Backstory>In the time before this one - before the coming of the Titans, before the Cataclysm that sundered the world - lesser Elementals such as these served as attendants to Elemental Lords, those who men worshipped as the Five of Anthuane. These creatures were called Anathua for this reason; they were thought to be the physical manifestation of the magic of the shards, which they were never far from. That time has passed. The Lesser Elementals know no allegiance now; they are as likely as not to attack without warning. </Backstory>

<All>M_AirElemental_Card.png</All>

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<Backstory>These shrills are said to be constructs made by Morrigan the Mad, in the laboratories of N'it'Vaganesh - his attempts to manufacture monsters to rival the giant spiders that the Titan Curgen kept at his beck and call. The air shrill derives its power from the Air Shard.

Their mandibles are potent magical reagents; practicing alchemists and wizards will pay top gildar for them.</Backstory>

<All>AirShrill.png</All>

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<Backstory>There are some who say these monsters - rare, unnaturally ferocious - were made by the Titan Curgen on his arrival to this world. Others believe they evolved naturally, within the depths of the great caverns dug by the dragon broods of old, and that their pale skin comes from being born in darkness, far from the sight of man. The truth may never be known.

What is fact: these creatures are protected by plates larger and thicker than those of normal Rock Spiders, which makes it easier to extract usable material from them. </Backstory>

<All>AlbinoRockSpider.png</All>

(remove comma between Curgen and on – make sure you mean easier and not harder)

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<Backstory>There are some who say these monsters - rare, unnaturally ferocious - were made by the Titan Curgenon his arrival to this world. Others believe they evolved naturally, within the depths of the great caverns dug by the dragon broods of old, and that their pale skin comes from being born in darkness, far from the sight of man. The truth may never be known.

What is fact; these creatures are protected by plates larger and thicker than those of normal Rock Spiders, which makes it easier to extract usable material from them. </Backstory>

<All>M_AlbinoRockSpider_Giant_Card_01.png</All>

(remove comma between Curgen and on – make sure you mean easier and not harder)

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<Quote>I am imprisoned by my regret. You should flee before it claims you as well.</Quote>

<Backstory>Once Padar to the peoples of Antheros, his name is now cursed forever. For as Curgen's army drew near, Amhah made a pact with the Titan. A thousand souls he promised the Lord of Imperium, if Curgen would spare his people from destruction. To this, Curgen agreed. And so from the land's unfortunates - the poor, the lame, the cripples, and the criminal - Amhah gathered those thousand, and brought them to his Temple. And with his own hands, with his own knife, he sacrificed them. One by one, upon altars consecrated to the Five, sobbing as he did so, believing that the blasphemous act would keep his city safe.

But Curgen had lied. On the field of Gaer Blodwyn, the Titan met Amhah and refused his sacrifice. The thousand who died rose once more, from the very pits they had been buried in, and these became the Butchermen. And Amhah, bound in service to Curgen by his heinous acts, became their leader... cursed to wander the world, undead, undying, for as long as Helias burns in the sky. </Backstory>

<All>M_Butcherman_Card_01.png</All>

(remove space and comma between “souls,” and “he”, remove comma between Amhah and and)

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<Quote>Yet another empire that will be left in ruin.</Quote>

<Backstory>Long before men walked upon Elemental, dragons filled the skies; for thousands of years, the Nine Broods dominated the world. They dug great caverns in the mountain ranges of the north and west, built burrows of unimaginable size in the deserts and jungles of the south and east. Then came man; then came the armies of Al-Ashteroth, bent on supremacy, seeking to obliterate any who stood in their path. Individually, the dragons were more than a match for any man; yet even their greatest broods were helpless against the overwhelming numbers of warrior-priests sent against them from the south. Only a few dragons survived the slaughter; they retreated to the fringes of the world, where they remain still.

The Ashwake is the mightiest of those, a dweller of deserts and wastelands, a breed of dragon immune to fire, immune to magic... a creature of near-unimaginable power and with a ferocious hatred of mankind. </Backstory>

<All>SanguineDragon.png</All>

(remove space between “they” and “retreated”, remove comma between power and and)

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<Quote>There is a toll for passing through these lands.</Quote>

<Backstory>This is a nomadic tribe of thieves, believed to predate the cataclysm, though there are some who say they are simply a band of survivors, remnants of those cooks, squires, and servants who followed the Great Army of the West to the gates of Imperium. All who join the Hashaini are schooled in the ways of thievery, learning the pickpocket's art and of course the ways of the dagger and throwing knife.</Backstory>

<All>B_Bandit_Card_01.png</All>

(remove comma between course and the)

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<Quote>What pretty trinkets you have. It's time to hand them over.</Quote>

<Backstory>The Hashaini travel in caravans, protected by these fierce bowmenwhose skills with the arrow rival those of the Ninety-Nine of Redstone.</Backstory>

<All>B_Brigand_Card_01.png</All>

(remove comma between bowmen and whose)

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<Quote>I have survived the trials of Grazna. My skin has turned aside teeth, arrows and spears. I have walked through fire, and ignored winter’s fury. What chance do you have against me?</Quote>

<Backstory>Bone Ogres are mighty creatures that make their lair in the deepest of volcanic vents, seeking - according to some - a refuge similar to that they are said to have been born and bred in... the underground labryinth of N'it'Vaganesh. Bone Ogres are reclusive and only emerge from their dark, warm caverns on rare occasions. When they do, however, woe to anything and anyone nearby.</Backstory>

<All>M_Ogre_BoneOgre_Card_01.png</All>

(lair is only a verb in Scotland; it means “to become mired”)

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<Backstory>It is said that the Titan Curgen created ogres by mingling the blood and bones of man and monster, that these creatures represented his first, vain attempt at making warriors to serve in his army, and that he imbued their very souls with a certain measure of death magic - just enough to ensure that the ogre’s spirit was a restless one, never satisfied, always seeking battleand destruction. If this is true, then Curgen failed in his task, for ogres as a rule are brutes - too angry, willful, and indolent to make good soldiers, too easily distracted even to serve as effective sentries.

Yet for every rule there is an exception, and the exception to the above is Bax.

Among the races of Elemental, he is legend. Faster, stronger, and a far better defender than any other of his breed. And he carries with him a maul said to have been fashioned by Curgen himself, magicked from the very rock of Elemental – a weapon that some believe has become part of his very body, one that cannot be taken from him except upon his death.</Backstory>

<All>M_BoneOgre_Bax_Card_01.png</All>

(remove comma between battle and and)

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<Backstory>Bone Ogres are mighty creatures that seek their lair in the deepest of volcanic vents, seeking - according to some - a refuge similar to that they are said to have been born and bred in... the underground labryinth of N'it'Vaganesh. Bone Ogres are reclusive and only emerge from their dark, warm caverns on rare occasions. When they do, however, woe to anything and anyone nearby.</Backstory>

<All>M_BoneOgre_Elder_Card_01.png</All>

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<Backstory>Among the soldiers of Amhah’s undead army, these are the most powerful. In the time before this one, they were men of great honor - soldiers entrusted with guarding the Temple of the Five at Atalandra. At Amhah’s command, it was they who led the unfortunates chosen for sacrifice to the altar - and it was they who were then slaughtered themselves on the fields of Gaer Blodwyn by the Emperor Curgen, before rising again by his command of necromancy, doomed to wander the world for all their days.</Backstory>

<All>M_Hecatomb.png</All>

(remove comma between five and at)

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<Backstory>In the time before this one, these were holy men and women, acolytes of the Five, consecrated body, mind, and soul to the service of the Elemental Lords of Old. When Amhah revealed his plan to offer up sacrifice to Curgen, in an attempt to save the people of Atalandra, these brave souls volunteered their own lives in order to spare others. They fell first to Amhah’s blade - in vain, as it turns out, for Curgen’s messenger - the butcher Magnar I - declared Amhah’s offering inadequate to the glory of his master. </Backstory>

<All>M_ButchermanMatyr.png</All>

(remove spaces around inadequate)

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<Backstory>Native to the high mountain reaches, the cave bear is one of the largest - and deadliest - creatures in all the world. Some believe these animals evolved naturally; others believe that they were bred by Morrigan in the depths of N'it'Vaganesh. Despite (or perhaps because of) their size, there are numerous recorded instances of these bears being trapped when young and subsequently raised as servants. They are quite trainable, albeit very destructive. </Backstory>

<All>TuskedBear_Medallion.png</All>

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<Quote>And the battalions of man became dust.</Quote>

The Clambercoil is said by some to be least among those breeds remaining in the world... yet its powers, all the same, are fearsome to behold. Immune to magic, this forest dweller is possessed of a venomous strike capable of killing instantly. </Backstory>

<All>ViridianDragon.png</All>

(remove space between they and retreated)

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<Backstory>These are smaller and quicker than the typical Poison Spider, but their venom is just as potent. They are called 'Corpse Spiders' because they feed on the dead and rotting flesh of their victims.

Corpse Spiders hold more individual Venom Glands than Poison Spiders, which makes them a favored target for adventurers seeking such glands for alchemical purposes or sale.</Backstory>

<All>M_Spider_Corps_Card_01.png</All>

(remove space between for and adventurers)

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<Quote>When the earth rises, you would do well to fear...</Quote>

<Backstory>The creatures known as Crag Spawn appear to be a variety of Earth Elemental - less powerful but more prone to violence than their larger cousins. They hate men, especially miners, and are fond of collapsing mines by destroying the tunnel braces. They then use the miners’ picks and hammers to pull bones out of the trapped miners in a gross parody of the miners’ work. For these reasons, some have speculated that these creatures were created by Morrigan, or his allies among the Fallen.</Backstory>

<All>M_Elemental_Earth_Card.png</All>

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<Backstory>Though the Titans brought death magic to this world, it was the Empress Ceresa who mastered it. She used these energies to corrupt and transform the minor Elementals of this world, twisting their powers to suit her own needs.

These fell creatures - things of sorcery that sometimes take the form of monstrously oversized birds (hence their name) - were once air elementals, things of beauty, but were altered by Ceresa’s magic.</Backstory>

<All>M_CrowDemon.png</All>

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<All>M_CrowDemon_Ancient_Card_01.png</All>

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<All>M_CrowDemon_Young_Card_01.png</All>

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According to Ezmir, Cyndrum was the most heavily guarded of all entrances to N'it'Vaganesh - the laboratory of the damned, where first Curgen and then Morrigan the Mad made monsters from the creatures of Elemental. These demons are said to have been fashioned by Ceresa using the arcane tools she found in Cyndrum’s ruins. For every soldier they kill, demons summoned in this manner are able to add another of their own kind to their forces.</Backstory>

<All>M_CyndrumDemon.png</All>

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<All>M_CyndrumDemon_Ancient_Card_01.png</All>

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<All>M_CyndrumDemon_Young_Card_01.png</All>

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<Quote>It has shinies. Maybe we can take the shinies from it.</Quote>

<Backstory>A select few Darkling warriors are chosen for the honor of becoming Warg riders; these are not necessarily the strongest or most powerful, but rather those Darklings who can master these beasts of burden solely through force of will. The ceremony during which these riders are chosen is among the bloodiest spectacles in all of Elemental. </Backstory>

<All>M_DarklingRider_Card.png</All>

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<Quote>It has shinies. Maybe we can take the shinies from it.</Quote>

<All>M_DarklingRidingArcher_Card_01.png</All>

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<Quote>I sense a power in you - a power I would take.</Quote>

<Backstory>These beings were once men, channelers who desired knowledge of the darkest arts - the spells which layfolk call Death Magic. They sought out the master of such spells, the Black Sorcerer, and begged his favor. To win it, they performed acts of perversion and blasphemy near-unmentionable: Taher the Suffering was imbued after drowning his wife and children; Galiard of Colraine was gifted after spending three days in a burning coal pit. Yet none granted apprenticeship to the Black Sorcerer regret the price they paid. These Dark Wizards, as they are called, consider themselves greater than men now.</Backstory>

<All>B_DarkWizzard_Card_01.png</All>

(remove spaces between begged and his as well as none and granted. Remove the return before Taher (along with replacing the semicolon with a colon) and remove the double period at the end of the last paragraph)

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<Quote>I sense a power in you - a power I would take.</Quote>

<All>M_Magician_Card_01.png</All>

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<Backstory>These massive creatures - called Great Drakes by Ezmir in his account of the Long March - are the most powerful of the Dragon's Kin; incredibly powerful, often greatly intelligent beings, they differ from their more powerful cousins in one crucial respect: they possess no inherent magical powers. The story of Magor the Red, in Erwynn's tales, is said to be an apocryphal retelling of their origin - how Magor, blinded by his desire for the Jewels of Az-Adoras, allowed himself to be trapped by the Dark Prince and ensorcelled into surrendering the magics that were part of his very essence.

The Great Drake has a nigh-impenetrable scale coat and teeth powerful and sharp enough to cut through the toughest steel with ease. Capable of breathing fire, these creatures are drawn to things of magic and make their lairs near shards or magical ruins.</Backstory>

<All>M_Drake_Drake_Card_01.png</All>

(remove space between prince and and)

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Their mandibles are potent magical reagents; practicing alchemists and wizards will pay top gildar for them.</Backstory>

<All>EarthShrill.png</All>

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<Quote>I will drag you down into endless night and devour your power, your soul - and when there is nothing left but sorrow, your body.</Quote>

<Backstory>Long before men walked upon Elemental, dragons filled the skies; for thousands of years, the Nine Broods dominated the world. They dug great caverns in the mountain ranges of the north and west; built burrows of unimaginable size in the deserts and jungles of the south and east. Then came man; then came the armies of Al-Ashteroth, bent on supremacy, seeking to obliterate any who stood in their path. Individually, the dragons were more than a match for any man; yet even their greatest broods were helpless against the overwhelming numbers of warrior-priests sent against them from the south. Only a few dragons survived the slaughter; they retreated to the fringes of the world, where they remain still, nursing their hatred of mankind.

The Fell Dragon seeks out the most barren, desolate places of the world to nest; any who dare to disturb it will most certainly pay a price.</Backstory>

<All>ObsidianDragon.png</All>

(remove space between they and retreated)

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Their mandibles are potent magical reagents; practicing alchemists and wizards will pay top gildar for them.</Backstory>

<All>FireShrill.png</All>

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<Backstory>These are kin to the dragon; scaled, powerful creatures who make their lair in the forests of Elemental. They are both solitary and extremely territorial; though they do not possess the ability to breathe fire, Forest Drakes will fight to the death to protect their hunting grounds.

As an aside, Drake Teeth are highly durable and often used as decor, tools, weapons, and even as fashion ornaments (earrings, rings, etc.) amongst the wealthy.</Backstory>

<All>ForestDrake.png</All>

(remove extra space between the and wealthy)

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<Quote>The life of my foe is my fortune and my feast.</Quote>

<Backstory>These brutally strong creatures are found in arctic climes. Argynn said of them: “They have the strength of a hundred men and the temper of a hundred scorned maidens.”

Garrote horns are often used in various alchemical remedies and potions and are thus extremely valuable.</Backstory>

<All>M_Garrote_Card.png</All>

(remove comma betweeen potion and and)

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<Backstory>There are some who say these monsters - the largest, most powerful of the Great Spiders - were fashioned by Curgen long ago, in his first days upon the world of Elemental. They have a powerful bite and their thick carapace is nigh-impenetrable to all but the mightiest of blades. They are often found near ore deposits, which they tend to use as nurseries for their young.

The armored plates of these spiders are highly valued; more than one adventurer has made a small fortune trading them.</Backstory>

<All>M_Spider_GiantRockSpider.png</All>

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<Backstory>These are the eldest and most powerful of their kind - those who lead the pack. Larger in size, more cunning, more intelligent, and by some accounts, far more aggressive, their pelts are rare indeed and highly prized by traders. </Backstory>

<All>M_Wolf_GreatWolf_Card.png</All>

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<Backstory>Within the third quarto of the Varis Reliquaria is contained the spell Anima Tsal Animana - life from lifelessness. This incantation, first mastered by Ereog in his time of solitude, imbues stone with the semblance of life.

The constructs commonly known as Guardian Statues awaken when the cities they are bonded to come under a specific kind of attack. </Backstory>

<All>M_GuardianIdolEmpire.png</All>

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The constructs commonly known as Guardian Statues awaken when the cities they are bonded to come under a specific kind of attack. </Backstory>

<All>M_GuardianIdolKingdom.png</All>

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The constructs commonly known as Guardian Statues awaken when the cities they are bonded to come under a specific kind of attack. </Backstory>

<All>M_FallenGuardianWard_Card.png</All>

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<Equipment>Longsword_Golem</Equipment>

The constructs commonly known as Guardian Statues awaken when the cities they are bonded to come under a specific kind of attack. </Backstory>

<All>M_KingdomGuardianWard_Card.png</All>

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<Backstory>Magic has many dangers.' - Eldrana the Blessed.

These are spectres, more creatures of magic than living beings, though once they were men, healers with the ability to draw the suffering from others into themselves. But with each deaplic (death curse) they drank, these men came closer and closer to the veil of death until, in the end, they were so cursed that the very ground they walked on became dark and warped by their passing.

Haunters can heal companions to strengthen themselves and can use powerful spells to damage enemies.</Backstory>

<All>M_Haunter_Card.png</All>

(remove space between “drank,” and “these”, remove comma betweeen themselves and and)

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<DisplayName>Hunter</DisplayName>

<Backstory>These are soldiers for hire: mercenaries, raised as such in Spartan conditions in the wildlands. The Vandaal are expert fighters and travel where and when they please along the world's byways. They take their name from their founder, Erek Vandaal, who was once prince of the Free City of Valgona.</Backstory>

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<Backstory>Wargs are fell creatures, wolves mutated by dark magics thousands of years ago. They are stronger and more cunning than their non-magical counterparts. They prefer to hunt alone and will fight over territory rather than ally themselves with their brethren.

The Ice Warg is characterized by its whitish-gray pelt and affinity for cold regions.

</Backstory>

<All>M_Warg_IceWarg_Card.png</All>

(remove comma between pelt and and, remove comma between fighters and and, remove comma between alone and and)

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<Backstory>Ignys - also called Delinaja, or Ash Serpents by some - are kin to the Lesser Fire Elementals. They are usually found nesting near areas of intense heat, such as volcanic rifts or Fire Shard sanctuaries. In their normal, quiescent state, they are cool and nearly invisible... but when irritated, they will glow and burst into flames.</Backstory>

<All>M_Ignys_Card.png</All>

(remove comma between their and normal, remove comma between rifts and or)

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<Quote>No one will chain me again.</Quote>

<Backstory>The cataclysm destroyed not only the great civilizations of this world, but their vast armies as well. Yet even standing alone, the warriors of the Yatra Nata - the legion of juggernauts, elite D’Rog soldiers - are a force to be reckoned with. Approach them - challenge them, recruit them - at your own peril.</Backstory>

<All>M_EscapedJuggernaut.png</All>

(remove spaces before and after juggernauts)

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<DisplayName>Knights of Asok</DisplayName>

<Quote>I seek anyone who can challenge my strength - you will do until they arrive.</Quote>

<Backstory>This is an ancient order of fighters, whose roots can be traced back to the very founding of Ithul. Their training emphasizes the virtues of speed and attack; the younger knights of this order tend towards the impulsive, and troublesome.</Backstory>

(remove comma between speed and and)

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<Quote>I shall keep my master's domain until he returns - and even after.</Quote>

<Backstory>No one knows where the dreaded Krigoths originated. Most believe that they were Curgen's most lethal and most trusted servants. Few who have seen one have lived to tell the tale.</Backstory>

<All>M_Krigoth_Card_01.png</All>

(remove the return value between “returns” and “and” – replace with dash

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<Quote>In shadows I lurk, ever hungry for the life that was taken from me.</Quote>

<Backstory>These are Drednii who primarily inhabit swamplands - weaker Demons who escaped the service of those who summoned them to this plane long ago. Weak though they may be, they still yearn for the souls of Men.

Demon Horns are often used in various alchemical remedies and magical experiments and are extremely valuable.</Backstory>

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<Backstory>These are soldiers for hire: mercenaries, raised as such in Spartan conditions in the wildlands. The Vandaal are expert fighters, and travel where and when they please along the world's byways. They take their name from their founder, Erek Vandaal, who was once prince of the Free City of Valgona.</Backstory>

<All>B_Highwayman_Card_01.png</All>

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<All>B_Highwayman_Card_01.png</All>

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<Backstory>Skaths are aggressive, amphibious creatures that thrive in damp environments. They rarely stray far from bodies of water, which serve as a both a reliable food source and a hatchery for their young.

The Mire Skath is the smallest of the breed; yet it is dangerous still. Recall the fate of Grandmother Chun, who (as is told in the Fables of Ang Wakat) sought to enslave the Skath of Amuga to harvest her husband's rice paddies.

Skath Fins are rare indeed and can be sold to merchants for a hefty amount of gildar.</Backstory>

<All>M_Warg_Skath_Card_01.png</All>

(remove comma between Wakat) and sought)

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These mirror elementals are said to have been imbued with waters from Ceresa’s own skrying pool - hence their ability to reflect any damage done to them back upon their attacker.</Backstory>

<All>M_MirrorElemental.png</All>

(is it a scrying pool?)

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These mirror elementals are said to have been imbued with waters from Ceresa’s own skrying pool - hence their ability to reflect any damage done to them back upon their attacker.</Backstory>

<All>M_MirrorElemental_Ancient_Card_01.png</All>

(is it a scrying pool?)

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These mirror elementals are said to have been imbued with waters from Ceresa’s own skrying pool - hence their ability to reflect any damage done to them back upon their attacker.</Backstory>

<All>M_MirrorElemental_Young_Card_01.png</All>

(is it a scrying pool?)

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<Quote>It has shinies. Maybe we can take the shinies from it.</Quote>

<Backstory>Mites are robbers and pests. They break wagon axles to force caravans to stop and repair. They weaken support beams in mines and collapse tunnels on miners. They are the ghostly tap, tap, tap miners hear when everyone is still and the cruel, distant laughter that travelers hear late at night.

When cornered they claim to be simple thieves, struggling to survive. But if they come across someone in need, their true intentions are revealed. They are murderers and as cruel as any Ogre, Quendar Taskmaster or Urxen Surgeon. If they find someone nearly dead, they will torture them for hours, delighting in their sudden power. Their favorite game is to capture a child or unarmed traveler, drop them in an old well and bet on how long they can remain afloat before drowning. As the time they bet on draws close the mites drop stones on the person and taunt them from above.

Mites have an irrational fear of cats and many farmers, and caravans keep a few just to discourage Mites from approaching. Even a group will avoid a farmhouse with a simple housecat, and if a Stalker enters an area the Mites will abandon their homes and disappear.</Backstory>

(remove comma between mines and and, add comma between dead and they, add comma between farmers and and)

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<Backstory>An Elemental Lord, one of the Five worshipped by the Padars of old, Morian's power was greatly diminished with the coming of the Titans and their imprisonment of the world's mana within the Elemental shards. He haunts the swamps of the world now, a dark reflection of his former self, said to have lost all reason when the vast forests he ruled over were destroyed by the cataclysm. </Backstory>

<All>M_Morian_Card.png</All>

(remove comma between titans and and)

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<Backstory>No serpent hates men as much as these, for the Naja were bred within N'it’Vaganesh as living weapons. They can grow to three times a man's length, with fangs as long and sharp as short swords. Yet it is the Naja's venom that is its most deadly weapon. The poison is so toxic that even a glancing strike causes near-instant necrosis, killing all flesh around the bite radius; if even a single drop enters the bloodstream, fatality follows. </Backstory>

<All>M_Serpent_Naja_Card.png</All>

(remove space between fatality and follows)

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<Quote>My strength is unequaled, my wrath unbounded.</Quote>

<Backstory>Ogres are huge, tremendously powerful monsters, giants driven by the most basic of needs: hunger, shelter, lust. Reclusive, territorial, they are believed to be at least as intelligent as trolls, though the sages do not suggest engaging them in conversation... or combat, for that matter, unless one is prepared to fight to the death.

Ogres are infatuated with gildar and are known to carry mighty fortunes with them.</Backstory>

<All>Ogre_Medallion.png</All>

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<Backstory>Sages say the Ophidian were once great pythons, related to the bonefield morelia, but they were changed after generations of nesting near crystal deposits. Those crystals became embedded in their scales. The Ophidian are now over twice as long as their ancestors, and immune to spells. Their bite causes a feeling of numbness and euphoria in the victim, a sensation that helps numb the horror of being swallowed whole.

Those brave enough to capture or kill Ophidian can make a great deal of money selling their scales to enchanters and their venom to those of less repute.</Backstory>

<All>M_Ophidian_01_Card.png</All>

(remove comma between enchanters and and)

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<Backstory>Pack Drakes are to the Great Drakes as those creatures are to Dragons; smaller, less powerful, but still unwise to underestimate. Though Pack Drakes do possess an animal cunning, they lack the savage intelligence of their greater cousins. They behave, rather, like wolves, forming packs that defend their territory.</Backstory>

<All>PackDrake.png</All>

(remove space between powerful and but, remove the first “territorial”)

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<Backstory>The Pack Drake is so named for its tendency to form into groups... territorial packs that endure no trespass on their lands. In this way, they behave similarly to wolves... albeit tougher, smarter, more cunning versions of the same.</Backstory>

<All>PackDrake.png</All>

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<Quote>The life of my foe is my fortune and my feast.</Quote>

<Backstory>These brutally strong creatures are normally found only in the highest peaks of the world, but sometimes wander to lower heights when distressed. Argynn said of them: “They have the strength of a hundred men and the temper of a hundred scorned maidens.”

Garrote horns are often used in various alchemical remedies and potions and are thus extremely valuable.</Backstory>

<All>M_Ravager_Card_01.png</All>

(remove comma betweeen potions and and)

---

<Backstory>These eight-legged monstrosities, spiders twisted and mutated by fell magic, have been known to not just consume but seek out the flesh of men. They paralyze their prey and drain them of their blood before discarding the remains amongst their drones.

Adventurers foolish enough to pursue the Harridan (sometimes called the Giant Black Widow) in the hopes of harvesting some of its highly valued silk are usually rewarded with death.</Backstory>

<All>M_Spider_GiantBlackWidow.png</All>

(remove comma between consume and but)

---

Adventurers foolish enough to pursue the Harridan (sometimes called the Giant Black Widow) in the hopes of harvesting some of its highly valued silk are usually rewarded with death.</Backstory>

<All>M_RanvenousHarridan_Giant_Card_01.png</All>

(remove comma between consume and but)

---

<Quote>You will serve to sate the bottomless hunger, for a moment.</Quote>

<Backstory>This is a sect of channelers, devotees of fell magic known by their black robes. They have mastered the spells within the Black Quire and thus have the ability to summon Drednii from the outer planes to Elemental and guide them in combat. </Backstory>

<All>M_Ritualist_Card.png</All>

(remove comma between Elemental and and, also between Quire and and)

---

<Backstory>It is said by some that these monsters were fashioned by Curgen on his arrival to this world, and that they are the 'Hordes of the Titan' mentioned in the Annals of Az-Bach-Nara. They alone among the creatures of Elemental have thrived since the Cataclysm, expanding their territory from the most desolate of mountains to all of the world's wastelands. They are extremely territorial creatures who protect their nesting and hunting grounds with horrifying efficiency.

The armored plates of the Rock Spider have a great many uses and can often by traded for gildar or other objects of value. </Backstory>

<All>M_Spider_Rock_Card_01.png</All>

(remove space and comma between creatures and who, and remove the comma between uses and and)

---

<Backstory>These are the immature males of the Rock Spider; they are quicker than their mature counterparts, though their mandibles are not fully developed (and thus, not as deadly). These creatures tend to travel in huge, aggressive packs and are known to ambush unwary travelers. A caution: the carapace of the Spiderling is not fully developed. Any seeking the armored plates of these spiders for use in trade is advised to look elsewhere. </Backstory>

<All>M_Spider_RockSpiderDrones.png</All>

(remove comma between packs and and)

---

<Backstory>Long before men walked upon Elemental, dragons filled the skies; for thousands of years, the Nine Broods dominated the world. Sarog is said by some to be the last survivor of the greatest of those Broods, the Lazhu... the Red Dragons of ancient Uraq-quong. They believe it was Sarog's egg that Tan-La-Ur rescued from the caves at Mt. Jiangga, and that Sarog is the dragon who Tan-La-Ur raised in secret in the wilds of the Valgon. Sarog, in this view, is the guardian of Tan-la-Ur's legacy to man... the sacred knowledge belonging to the few remaining acolytes of the Order of the Dragon. This is why, in their view, Sarog stands guard over the Temple of the Dragon. Others believe differently; they see Sarog as a mindless creature, a near-immortal survivor of the destruction visited upon his race, who inhabits the regions near the Temple out of habit. It is, perhaps, better to be safe than sorry. Should you encounter Sarog, let caution be your watchword, for his power remains beyond compare. </Backstory>

<All>SanguineDragon.png</All>

---

<Quote>My master is long gone; those who remain are beneath my disdain.</Quote>

<Backstory>These monsters were created by Morrigan, in the depths of N'it'Vaganesh, to rule over the lesser Shrills the Patricide had summoned into existence. They earn their name from the paralyzing shriek they emit in combat. On Morrigan's death, the Shrill Lords scattered to the far reaches of the world... only a few are known to remain.

As is the case with the lesser Shrills, the mandibles of the Shrill Lord are rich in magical reagents. Alchemists as well as channelers will pay a hefty price for them. </Backstory>

<All>Shrilllord.png</All>

(remove quotes, other quotes don’t have them)

---

<Backstory>The Silt Skath is found exclusively in and around river deltas. It tends to partially bury itself in the mud of the riverbed, waiting patiently for spawning ocean fish to enter the river from the sea.

Skath Fins are rare indeed and can be sold to merchants for a hefty amount of gildar.</Backstory>

<All>M_Warg_SiltSkath_Card_01.png</All

---

<Backstory>Slags are kin to the dragon - lesser beings that prefer swamps to ruins and forests. Like other Dragon Kin, Slags are quite intelligent and ferocious, but the closest they come to magic is an uncanny ability for passing unseen in swamps despite their great size.

Slag Tendrils are a delicacy amongst the incredibly wealthy, and they are also prized components in alchemical experiments.</Backstory>

<All>M_Drake_Slag_Card_01.png</All>

(add comma between wealthy and and)

---

<Backstory>The Queen of the spiders has a name known only to their own kind. The world of Elemental is theirs, by right. Long they waited for the beings of the world to ruin themselves and upon doing so the spiders took the world by storm. Now, they mean to keep it.</Backstory>

<All>M_SpiderQueen_Card_01.png</All>

---

<Quote>And the battalions of man became dust.</Quote>

The last of the great battles between man and dragon was fought at the cliffs of Haiersgard, near Isa Mere - the Lake of Ice, where a thousand of Ashteroth's priests, led by his son, Az-Adoras, the Dark Prince, scaled the crags of Haiersgard and drove the Storm Dragons from the Valgon forever. </Backstory>

<All>M_StormDragon_Card.png</All>

(remove comma between Hairsgard and and)

---

<Backstory>These are small, quick, and dangerous creatures that stalk in groups. They communicate with an unnatural quickness which many believe was bred into them by the Titans thousands of years ago. Their digestive systems are equally quick and efficient; they tend to leave little trace of their prey, save for gildar or metal items they may excrete. </Backstory>

<All>M_Spider_SwarmSpider.png</All>

(remove comma between Titans and thousands)

---

<Quote>These lands belong to the Syndicate.</Quote>

<Backstory>The Syndicate is a vile gang of scum that preys on those who enter the wilds without protection. While little threat to trained soldiers, they are an effective force for terrorizing isolated settlements</Backstory>

<All>B1_C4_TarthanBowmen.png</All>

---

<Quote>I will bring only destruction to this world...</Quote>

<Backstory>These are near-godlike beings who ruled Elemental for thousands of years. Little is known of their origin or their history. They form two rival groups, called Drednir and Arnor. Pariden was of the Arnor, the first Titan to visit this world; he appeared to Ithuane, in the Verhallem, in the year 3566 of the Old Reckoning. He was a wise and good friend to the people of this world. In the year 446 of the New Calendar, the Drednir Curgen and his allies arrived. A great war ensued, in which Pariden was slain and Imperium was raised. A darkness fell upon the world then, which ended only with the Cataclysm. </Backstory>

<All>Sovereign_Magnar.png</All>

(remove comma between beings and who – also between origin and or – also between slain and and)

---

<Quote>This land belongs to me!</Quote>

<Backstory>Troll Shamans tend to be the smartest among their kind, making them, almost by default, tribal leaders. Some - in particular those who manage to master a portion of the channeler's art - are revered as near-gods.

An aside: troll shamans tend to be hoarders and can often be found carrying unique items pilfered from the corpses of slain adventurers.</Backstory>

<All>M_Giant_TrollShaman_Card_01.png</All>

(remove comma between hoarders and and)

---

<Quote>Stay away from my stuff!</Quote>

<Backstory>Troll Warriors are the hunters of their tribes - the strongest, most cunning of their kind. They often serve as bodyguards/enforcers to tribal shamans.

Many Warriors have been known to carry exceptional weaponry, likely plucked from the mangled bodies of fallen foes.</Backstory>

<All>HillGiantShaman_Medallion.png</All>

---

<Backstory>These were bred by the Lady Umber, in the time before this one, for use in those battles now known as the Umbran Wars. Some of these monsters survived the Cataclysm and have now been captured and tamed by the great channelers of the East.

Umberdroth plates are highly valued by merchants and can be exchanged for a good amount of gildar.</Backstory>

<All>Umderdroth.png</All>

(remove comma between Cataclysm and and)

---

<Backstory>"We are born in warmth, but the cold embrace of death awaits us all." - Magnar III

Vetrar is Elemental Lord of the frozen tundra - the ice-covered wastes of the North, beyond which the world is said to end. Yet there are some who believe Vetrar's title does not refer to the land he watches over, but to the role he is destined to play at the end of time... when the world itself will end in a second Cataclysm. “When all warmth bleeds out of the world, when summer has gone forever, when our monuments lie buried in snow and our cities have been ground to dust by glaciers, when the blood in the veins of the last of our children has been frozen by the endless winter, Vetrar will remain standing... the world's last champion. Then he will fulfill his charge and destroy all life on Elemental... man, Fallen, sacred and profane alike.”

Of the thousands that have set out to destroy Vetrar, only a handful have even reached the borders of his territory. Most have simply laid down in the snow and let death take them... a prefiguration, some believe, of how the world will end.

</Backstory>

<All>M_Vetrar_Card.png</All>

(remove comma between charge and and, also the word "have" may be the original text, I'm not where I can see right now - I had to change it back from has)

---

Their mandibles are potent magical reagents; practicing alchemists and wizards will pay top gildar for them.</Backstory>

<All>WaterShrill.png</All>

---

<Quote>The time of cities is over. The world is ours now.</Quote>

<Backstory>Wilding shamans not only have knowledge of the channeler's art, but are trained in the use of fire as a weapon. Take care when approaching these, for they typically have fire darts at hand to use as they see fit. </Backstory>

<All>SandCrawlerShaman_Medallion.png</All>

---

<Quote>You trespass on our hunting grounds. You must pay the price.</Quote>

<Backstory>To be granted the status of a Warrior within a wilding tribe is a high honor indeed, one reserved for the fearless alone. Brute strength must be matched with guile, ferocity tamed by cunning. Despite their relatively small size, wilding warriors are among the most feared fighters in all of Elemental. The great army of the West was weakened by a third in crossing the Plains of Engar to reach Imperium, in the last days before the Cataclysm. Most of that damage was done by an army of wilding warriors. </Backstory>

<All>SandCrawlerWarrior_Medallion.png</All>

---

<Quote>You trespass on our hunting grounds. You must pay the price.</Quote>

<All>SandCrawlerWarrior_Medallion.png</All>

---

<Quote>My club will crush your chest; my fists will break your bones; my teeth will tear your flesh.</Quote>

<Backstory>Ogres take decades to reach their full height and weight, but their young, though significantly smaller, are to be considered equally dangerous, for what they lack in size they more than make up for in belligerence. They are even more drawn to gold and precious objects than their mature counterparts, and many a traveler has met their end trying to part an ogre from their treasure.</Backstory>

<All>YoungOgre_Medallion.png</All>

---

=============

CorePlayerAbilities.xml

---

<DisplayName>Cartography</DisplayName>

<Description>Skill at map making, allowing units to better survey unknown terrain.</Description>

---

<DisplayName>City Defense</DisplayName>

<Description>Skill at protecting your cities from the attacks of your enemies.</Description>

---

<DisplayName>Core Mana Regeneration</DisplayName>

<Description>How quickly this faction regenerates their core mana.</Description>

---

<DisplayName>Free Population</DisplayName>

<Description>Bonus to the player’s starting population.</Description>

---

<DisplayName>Max Road Level</DisplayName>

<Description>Determines the level of roads your faction can build between its own cities.</Description>

---

<DisplayName>Bonus Production from Craftsmen</DisplayName>

<Description>A faction's Craftsmens' skill at producing Production.</Description>

---

=============

CoreQuestLocations.xml

---

<Name>Arena of the Slakhanan</Name>

<Description>Centuries ago, this was where Curgen's failed creations came to die - a battleground where monsters fought each other to the death. Others use the arena now; men and women who possess - and wager - great fortunes upon each battle. Those seeking sport - and the chance, perhaps, to gain a fortune of their own - should not fear to enter.</Description>

(add space before others)

---

<Description>This is a place of transients, of wanderers who have nowhere else in the world to go, no plot of ground to call their own - wanderers with tales of exotic lands and great treasures. </Description>

---

<Name>Ancient Ruins</Name>

<Description>A ruin from another time - from the age before this one, when Pariden himself walked Elemental. This castle's toppled walls hold the promise of great adventure...</Description>

---

=============

CoreMounts.xml

---

<DisplayName>Horse</DisplayName>

<Description>Horses grant your units more speed in combat and in travel, allow them to carry more weight, and make them immune to being knocked prone.</Description>

(this comma is necessary)

---

<DisplayName>Horse</DisplayName>

<Description>Horses grant your units more speed in combat and in travel, allow them to carry more weight, and make them immune to being knocked prone.</Description>

---

<DisplayName>Warhorse</DisplayName>

<Description>Warhorses grant your units more speed in combat and in travel, allow them to carry more weight, and make them immune to being knocked prone.</Description>

---

<DisplayName>Ashwake Dragon</DisplayName>

<Type>Mount</Type>

<Attribute>UnlockCombatAbility</Attribute>

<StrVal>FireBreath</StrVal>

<Provides>Fire Breath- Target unit is enveloped in fire, taking half the caster's attack strength in fire damage.</Provides>

---

=============

CoreLetters.xml is without errors!

=============

CoreLogos.xml

<DisplayName>Crest of the Empire</DisplayName>

<Description>For generations the Crest of the Empire has graced the banners of the ever-expanding nation.</Description>

(remove the first comma)

=============

CoreFlavorText.xml

If factionnamelong is just “Empire of Axablax” then in many cases I have not presented here you need to put “the” in front of it. If factionnamelong is “The Empire of Axablax” then in many cases you need to remove “the” in front of it.

<Topic>CivilizationTechCategory_LowLevel</Topic>

<Faction>KingdomOfAltar</Faction>

<Text>The proud nation of the Altar has a long way to go before reclaiming the former glory of their kingdom. Before the Cataclysm, they were a great people of culture and self-betterment. Now they struggle to survive.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

<Topic>CivilizationTechCategory1</Topic>

<Text>The [FactionName] are struggling to bring civilization back to [WorldName]. It has been a century since the Cataclysm, and much knowledge has been lost. Our scholars are trying to recover as much as they can, as quickly as they can.</Text>

</FlavorText>

(add comma between Cataclysm and and)

---

<Topic>CivilizationTechCategory2</Topic>

<Text>The [FactionName] continue to bring civilization back to [WorldName]. We have made considerable progress already, but there is still much to accomplish.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

<Topic>WarfareTechCategory2</Topic>

<Text>The [FactionName] have grown stronger. No longer does [WorldName] seem so intimidating.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

<Topic>WarfareTechCategory4</Topic>

<Text>Our forces are well-equipped and highly trained – they are the true envy of lesser realms.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

---

<Topic>MagicTechCategory2</Topic>

<Text>The [FactionName] have made some progress. Already we are beginning to recover some key pieces of arcane knowledge. We will need to control some of the elemental shards in order to bring justice back to [WorldName].</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

---

<Topic>AdventureTechCategory2</Topic>

<Faction>GENERIC</Faction>

<Text>The [FactionName] have made some progress. As our scholars seek out rumor and information on some of the heroes of [WorldName], they have inadvertently let loose some of the forces that the Titans had imprisoned.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

---

<Topic>DiplomacyTechCategory2</Topic>

<Text>We have made some progress already. The world of [WorldName] is becoming less complex, and other realms are not so alien to us.</Text>

</FlavorText>

(add comma between complex and and)

---

<Topic>DiplomacyTechCategory3</Topic>

<Text>Our diplomats are quickly becoming capable of waging wars with words and securing what is best for our realm.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

<Topic>ImperiumTechCategory1</Topic>

<Text>The [FactionName] are struggling to establish unquestioned sovereignty on [WorldName]. Controlling the hordes is no easy task, but the greatest among us work tirelessly to relearn what was lost in order to strengthen the nation.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

<Topic>ImperiumTechCategory2</Topic>

<Text>The [FactionName] continue to establish authority over [WorldName]. The world recognizes our growing dominion, but there is still a long road ahead before lesser creatures accept our sovereignty.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

<Topic>ConquestTechCategory1</Topic>

<Text>The weak exist to be ruled over. The world of [WorldName] is filled with those ready to be exploited. The [FactionName] must be ready to ascend to power.</Text>

</FlavorText>

(fraught typically has a negative connotation so this was jarring – but it is subjective)

---

<Topic>ConquestTechCategory2</Topic>

<Text>The [FactionName] have grown stronger. The peoples of [WorldName] have noticed and are beginning to fear our strength.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

<Topic>SorceryTechCategory2</Topic>

<Text>The [FactionName] have made some progress in mastering magic. Already we are beginning to recover some key pieces of knowledge on arcane matters. The creatures of [WorldName] will soon tremble in our presence.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

<Topic>DominationTechCategory2</Topic>

<Faction>GENERIC</Faction>

<Text>The [FactionName] have made some progress. Many capable warriors of [WorldName] recognize our superiority and are keen to join our Empire.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

---

<Topic>EndGameWnd_VictoryGeneric</Topic>

<Text>A new dawn rises for [LeaderName] and the battle-weary people of the [FactionNameLong]. With the death of their final adversary bringing an end to all wars, the brave soldiers of [FactionNameShort] have sheathed their weapons and commenced the long trek home. The age of war is past and the healing of [WorldName] can begin in earnest.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

<Topic>EndGameWnd_VictoryTurnLimit</Topic>

<Text>Twilight falls on the current age and scholars have united in declaring the [FactionNameLong] as the worlds' dominant civilization. Balancing military might with domestic excellence and magical prowess, [LeaderName] has proven [LeaderHisHer] greatness as a leader and the name [FactionNameShort] will be forever honored as one of the greatest nationsto grace the land.</Text>

</FlavorText>

(remove extra space between nations and to)

---

<Topic>EndGameWnd_Retire</Topic>

<Text>[LeaderName] sits, alone in the throne room of [FactionNameShort]. A fog of hopelessness clouds [LeaderHisHer] every thought. [LeaderHisHer] people begged for a leader - but to lead was too tiring. [LeaderHisHer] army longed for an able general - but the sword was too heavy. [LeaderHisHer] foes beat their chests - but [LeaderName] could muster neither fear nor ire. Exhausted, the sovereign descends [LeaderHisHer] throne, prepared to lower the Flag of [FactionNameShort] for the last time.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

<Topic>EndGameWnd_RetireFromEndlessGame</Topic>

<Text>[LeaderName] has grown restless. As another season passes, and the great leader views [LeaderHisHer] vast empire, [FactionNameShort]'s ruler feels little satisfaction. The joys of a victorious battle, the thrill of adventuring the untamed wilds, the excitement of warring with the unworthy channelers of the world were all fading memories. It is time for the reign of [FactionNameShort]'s Sovereign to be passed onto another, and [LeaderName] will be free to pursue new adventures.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

<Topic>EndGameWnd_DefeatGeneric</Topic>

<Text>The bloodstained flag of [FactionNameShort] lay, tattered and beaten, in the firm grasp of the broken [LeaderName]. Soldiers of the once great [FactionNameLong] surrounded their fallen leader - some kneeling in reverence, most lifeless in [LeaderHisHer] eternal company. A crimson sunset set the sky ablaze as the last flickers of the channeler's mighty spirit were extinguished forever.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

---

<Topic>MiniCutscene_FoundKingdom_Text</Topic>

<Text>The moment has come - the moment that all your travels, all your battles, all your years of study and swordplay have led to. The founding of [CapitalName]. The capital of the [LongFactionName]. Now your storyand the story of the [ShortFactionName] - the few who follow you now, the legions who will flock to your banners in the days and weeks to come - truly begins.</Text>

</FlavorText>

(remove dash between story and and)

---

<Topic>MiniCutscene_Wedding_Title</Topic>

<Text>Of the Blessed Union</Text>

<Text>Of the King and Queen</Text>

<Text>Of New Beginnings</Text>

<Text>Of the Growing Royal Family</Text>

</FlavorText>

<Topic>MiniCutscene_Wedding_MaleLeader</Topic>

<Text>It was a day of celebration amongst the people of [ShortFactionName]. The wedding of their king and queen, the mighty [SovereignName] and the fair [UnitName], brought the cities of the [LongFactionName] into a mood of complete jubilance. While the affair was kept intimate for the couple, with only personal friends and family in attendance, the streets of [CapitalName] erupted with song and dance. For that moment they forgot about their struggles, fears, and heartaches, and glorified the good life made possible by their king.</Text>

<Text>As the lands around the [LongFactionName] had blossomed, so had the love between [SovereignName] and his fair bride. The two lost souls, searching for adventure, hope, or simply a means for survival, instead found each other and pledged to unite against the gathering darkness. Their people celebrated the new [ShortFactionName] queen with open arms and thunderous song, and, for a moment, the king rested and rejoiced.</Text>

</FlavorText>

(remove comma between other and and)

---

<Topic>MiniCutscene_Wedding_FemaleLeader</Topic>

<Text>It was a day of celebration amongst the people of [ShortFactionName]. The wedding of their queen, the mighty [SovereignName] and her suitor, [UnitName], brought the cities of the [LongFactionName] into a mood of complete jubilance. While the affair was kept intimate for the couple, with only personal friends and family in attendance, the streets of [CapitalName] erupted with song and dance. For that moment, they forgot about their struggles, fears, and heartaches and glorified the good life made possible by their queen.</Text>

</FlavorText>

(remove comma between heartaches and and)

---

<Topic>MiniCutscene_WeakNPCKilled</Topic>

<Text>Word spread quickly of the murder of [UnitName]. Driven through without reason or want, [UnitName]'s unprovoked killing put [SovereignName]'s motivations into question. Was the death of a fellow man so light an act to this leader of [ShortFactionName]? How safe would [WorldName] truly be under the rule of such a bloodthirsty fiend? Judged at every step, feared by the trembling masses, [SovereignName] was now seen to be as monstrous a creature as the beasts that roam the wastes.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

<Topic>MiniCutscene_PitOfLostVoices_Title</Topic>

<Text>Pit of Lost Voices</Text>

</FlavorText>

<Topic>MiniCutscene_PitOfLostVoices_Text</Topic>

<Text>

Gouged from the black obsidian of N'it'Vaganesh by the Titan Curgen, guarded by a great iron gate, the Pit of Lost Voices is haunted by the damnedand the dying. Here were sacrificed thousands of the Titan's creations: those who fell short of perfection in his sight, those who angered him, and those who lost favor for some trivial offense. Stand near enough to the gate, and their voices can be heard still, some say. Though others believe those voices belong to Curgen's demons - drednii of dark power, drawn to the suffering within the Pit, and trapped there when the Cataclysm sealed the iron gates shut.

</Text>

</FlavorText>

(remove comma between damned and and)

---

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterBhinadmiFissure_Title</Topic>

<Text>The Bhinadmi Fissure</Text>

</FlavorText>

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterBhinadmiFissure_Text</Topic>

<Text>Your scouts have led you to the edge of an impassable crevasse - a crack in the earth a mile wide, a crack long enough that you cannot see its end. A formidable barrier to your progress - but what lurks inside is more formidable still. This is the dwelling place of Abeix - one of the Elemental Lords of old. In the days before the coming of men and the Titans, his kind ruled this world. Now his domain is shrunk to encompass only the chasm before you.

For a moment, your heart aches for this fallen godand his plight. Yet you know if you can defeat Abeix and his creatures, this territory will be yours.</Text>

</FlavorText>

(remove comma between god and and)

---

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterBurningLands_Title</Topic>

<Text>The Burning Lands</Text>

</FlavorText>

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterBurningLands_Text</Topic>

<Text>Your throat is parched - the stench of sweat and smoke is all around. You cough and take a long drink of water, and survey the land before you. It is rock, and lava, and fire. Pockets of flame erupt from the ground everywhere you look, and no wonder: these are the Burning Lands, the territory of Delin - the Elemental Lord of Fire. It is the territory of his creatures as well - the Ignys, the fire snakes who guard his sanctum, and that of the lesser elementals he commands.

If you seek to restore life to these regions,you will have to fight - and defeat - all of them.

</Text>

</FlavorText>

(remove comma between cough and and, remove extra space between regions, and you)

---

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterRuinsOfTheImperium_Title</Topic>

<Text>Ruins of the Imperium</Text>

</FlavorText>

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterRuinsOfTheImperium_Text</Topic>

<Text>Before you is a crumbling stone arch. There are words chiseled into the rock, words written in Avostan - the language of the Titans. One of those words jumps out at you: Imperiia. In the time before this one, the Imperia were the Titan Curgen's bases - outposts of his empire, scattered throughout the land. You are instantly on guard, for the descendants of the dark creatures Curgen deemed worthy to be his sentinels may yet roam the ruins visible beyond the gate. Yet if you can conquer those survivors, and build a city of your own here, the rewards will be great indeed</Text>

</FlavorText>

(is it Imperiia or Imperia? Or is it Imperiia in Avostan and Imperia in the common tongue? )

---

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterTheAsag_Title</Topic>

</FlavorText>

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterTheAsag_Text</Topic>

<Text>It is a diseased land that lies before you - a vast, rotting marsh - half swamp, half stagnant river - which reeks of death and corruption. Your soldiers have already killed half a dozen plague-infected creatures that were tracking your company - most no larger than rats, but one the size of a full-grown warg - and the cook has told you that none of the fish caught earlier will be fit to eat. And yet... if the sick and diseased were pruned from this land, if the marsh drained, and the grass allowed to grow... the Asag could once more be fertile, productive land...</Text>

</FlavorText>

(remove comma between vast and rotting)

---

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterScrapyard_Title</Topic>

<Text>Scrapyard</Text>

</FlavorText>

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterScrapyard_Text</Topic>

<Text>Here lies a grisly reminder of the great wars of ages past, a battlefield stretching as far as the eye can see. The tattered banners of kingdoms long since vanished - Antheros and Vazghur, Redstone and Imperium - still flutter in the breeze, in the grip of skeletons whose flesh and clothing have rotted away. But metal remains: armor glittering in the sunset, longswords and halberds, battleaxes and daggers scattered on the ground. In the distance, smoke rises from a campfire. Someone has taken up residence here; if you want to claim any of the scraps here as your own, you'll have to fight for them.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterTheBilge_Title</Topic>

<Text>The Bilge</Text>

</FlavorText>

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterTheBilge_Text</Topic>

<Text>You stand on the edge of a swamp so vast that it defies description. Once, spires of the great cities of old, the outposts of Athica and Antheros, towered over this land. Once, long ago, the primal forces of nature - those worshipped as the Five, the Elemental Lords of this planet - moved proudly among their creations. Now the cities have fallen. The land has died. All that remains is rotand ruin.

Now this is the Bilge. All manner of dangerous creatures roam here. But if you can clear the ruins of them, you may be able to civilize - and settle - this land once more...

</Text>

<Text>You stand on the edge of a swamp so vast that it defies description. The stench that rises from it defies description as well. Once, spires of the great cities of old, the outposts of Athica and Antheros, rose here, over lands filled with verdant life. In this place the primal forces of nature - the Elemental Lords - moved proudly among their creations. Now the cities have fallen. The land has died. All that remains is rotand ruin.

Now this is the Bilge. All manner of dangerous creatures roam here. But if you can clear the ruins of them, you may be able to civilize - and settle - this land once more...

</Text>

</FlavorText>

(remove comma between rot and ruin (2x))

---

<Topic>MiniCutscene_CurgensTomb_Title</Topic>

<Text>Curgen's Tomb - Battlefield of the Titans</Text>

</FlavorText>

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterCurgensTomb_Text</Topic>

<Text>Centuries in the past, a great war was fought between the two most powerful Dred'nir - Curgen and Kir-Tion. For years on end, the two Titans struggled for supremacy until in one final, world-shattering battle, Kir-Tion was killed; his army, his weapons of war, his very body were obliterated from Elemental. These devastated lands - these twisted rocks, these awe-inspiring craters - mark the boundaries of that battlefield.

Strange creatures are said to roam it. Mana shards are believed to abound. Tame this land, and those energies could be yours...

</Text>

</FlavorText>

(remove comma between supremacy and until, also between curgen and and)

---

<Topic>MiniCutscene_TheShroud_Title</Topic>

<Text>The Shroud</Text>

</FlavorText>

<Topic>MiniCutscene_TheShroud_Text</Topic>

<Text>The mist that covers the world grows thicker. As you halt to gain your bearings, a man steps by you and disappears. "The Shroud! We are in the Shroud!" someone cries out, fear tinging his voice. No wonder: the Shroud is a place of mystery and death. Those who enter disappear, never to be seen again. Some say they are whisked across the world, to other cities, other places. Others believe them transported to Deorcnysse, a city that stands in the Shroud's heart - a city containing great treasures, yours for the taking if you brave the Shroud's depths and defeat Deorcnysse's defenders.</Text>

</FlavorText>

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<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterLombardDesert_Title</Topic>

<Text>The Lombard Desert</Text>

</FlavorText>

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterLombardDesert_Text</Topic>

<Text>Long ago, this land was home to the Illuna - an order of scholars whose knowledge of the ancients was second to none. Destroyed once by the Titans, devastated a second time by the Cataclysm, it has become a desert - cursed by sandstorms, inhabited by savage wildings and Elementals of the Sand and Wind – and by the Lord who rules them, Torax. Somewhere within this wasteland, though, it is rumored that the Illuna's great Library still stands. If you can reach it, their knowledge - their power, their technology - can be yours...</Text>

</FlavorText>

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<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterPitsOfNamtur_Title</Topic>

<Text>Pits of Namtur</Text>

</FlavorText>

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterPitsOfNamtur_Text</Topic>

<Text>A seemingly endless series of caves pockmark the hillside before you - too many to have formed naturally. You soon realize where you are: Namtur. In the time before this one, Prince Az al-Himbsa - the torturer king - claimed this mountain to bore his legendary pits, hundreds of them, stretching deep into the earth. Within each he placed either a great treasure or a cruel trap - a cache of gold or a savage demon, a precious jewel or a monstrous beast. And Az-Himbsa and his guests would delight in sending their servants out to explore these deadly caverns. You wonder if any of those treasures - or any of those creatures - survived the Cataclysm. There is, of course, only one way to find out.</Text>

</FlavorText>

(remove dash between treasure and or – also between gold and or – also between jewel and or)

---

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterNorthernWaste_Title</Topic>

<Text>Northern Waste</Text>

</FlavorText>

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterNorthernWaste_Text</Topic>

<Text>Before you, stretching from horizon to horizon, is a landscape as desolate as any you have ever encountered – a frozen world of ice and snow, not a blade of grass, not a speck of dirtin sight. It is the Elemental Lord Vetrar who rules here: the Guardian of the World's End. This is a place of despairand endless suffering. But if you can find Vetrar... if you can defeat him, and the forces he rules, you may be able to restore life - and hope - to this land once more.</Text>

</FlavorText>

(remove comma between dirt and in – also between despair and and)

---

<Topic>CustomSovereign_Description</Topic>

<Text>A turbulent life had sharpened [SovereignName]. Orphaned at an early age when [GenderHisHer] clan's humble camp was set ablaze by wandering thieves, the young [GenderBoyGirl] learned quickly the hard rules of existence. Finding a new home under the watchful eye of a caring scholar, [SovereignName] poured [GenderHisHer] attention into the books that surrounded [GenderHimHer]. Tales of legendary battles sent [GenderHisHer] mind racing between dreams of heroism and the harsh reality of the sword. Revenge tormented [GenderHisHer] slumber, and slowly eroded [GenderHisHer] youthful spirit into something hard and battle ready. [SovereignName] now seeks to protect those in need and restore balance to a world plunging into darkness.</Text>

<Text>[SovereignName] knew at an early age that [GenderHeShe] had an uncommon greatness within [GenderHimHer]. Friendswho caused [SovereignName] sadness would fall upon the poorest of luck, and dreams of a glorious kingdom with [SovereignName] overlooking it seemed more real than life in [GenderHisHer] village. Now [SovereignName] has grown and looks to find if there is any truth to those dreams.</Text>

</FlavorText>

(remove “that” between Friends and who, remove comma between grown and and)

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<Topic>CustomSovereign_Description</Topic>

<Text>[SovereignName] was never one for palace life. While the champions of the world came and went, marble halls echoing stories of far off lands, [GenderHeShe] was locked indoors, safe from those that would do [GenderHimHer] and [GenderHisHer] family harm. But this safety would prove fleeting, for it took but one solitary night of horror to destroy that facade of sanctuary. Family and friends were slaughtered in an act of villainous mutiny; the small nation was brought to ruin. Luckily, [SovereignName] was led by a handful of servants outside the castle's walls, and as the palace [GenderHeShe] once despised was engulfed in flame, [SovereignName] made a silent oath to rebuild it.</Text>

<UnitHistory>History_Royalty</UnitHistory>

</FlavorText>

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<Topic>Msg_PlayerDefeated_KnownToLocalPlayer</Topic>

<Text>[KilledFactionShortName] is no more, [SovereignMLordMLady]. The sword of [OtherSovereignName] overcame the pitiful [KilledFactionName], and its lands are now controlled by [OtherFactionShortName]. We must be watchful of this growing threat.</Text>

</FlavorText>

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<Topic>Msg_WildResourceDestroyed_Generic</Topic>

<Text>[SovereignName], messengers from the [DirectionToImp] say our [ImpTypeName] has been mercilessly destroyed. We should protect our other resources to keep this from happening again.</Text>

<Text>Our [ImpTypeName] to the [DirectionToImp] has been destroyed, [SovereignMLordMLady]. Without protecting our borders, we should assume they will strike again.</Text>

<Text>Flames have engulfed our [DirectionToImp]ern [ImpTypeName], [SovereignMLordMLady]. We should assemble forces near our other resources before our enemies cause additional damage.</Text>

</FlavorText>

---

<Topic>GameplayTips_General</Topic>

<Text>Be careful when raising your tax rate, as it increases the Unrest in your cities. Unrest reduces the amount of production and research your cities generate.</Text>

<Text>Be mindful of where you build your cities. The amount of Grain available to a city impacts how much food that city can produce and therefore how large it can grow. Likewise Materials impact a city’s production, making cities with a lot of Materials (4-5) great for building expensive improvements or advanced troops, which will take longer in cities with 2 or 3 Materials.</Text>

<Text>Resources gathered outside city walls become prime targets to your enemies and wandering creatures. Guard them with soldiers to keep them from being destroyed and losing the resources they provide.</Text>

<Text>Make sure to build improvements on the wild resources near your cities to reap their benefits.</Text>

<Text>Building a shard shrine on a shard you control will increase the power of some of your spells in addition to providing you with mana every turn.</Text>

<Text>Did you know you can trade knowledge with other factions? The best part is, it can be a mutually beneficial relationship; knowledge you trade does not slow your research, resulting in both parties getting a boost.</Text>

(remove comma between produce and and)

---

<Text>Mana is the expendable source of magic for your faction. All your Champions and your Sovereign spend mana to cast their spells.</Text>

<Text>When your Sovereign or Champions level up, you can increase the spells they can cast by selecting traits in specific schools of magic.</Text>

<Text>The fog that hangs over the world hides many secrets - none more desired than the Elemental Shards. By encompassing a crystal within your territorial control, shrines can be built to reap the magic within, resulting in a damage multiplier to some spells and increased mana generation for your Faction.</Text>

<Text>Spells come in two major disciplines, each with their own benefits. Tactical spells, once mastered, can be used on the battlefield to boost your forces or destroy your foes. Strategic spells are designed to be cast on the main map, targeting settlements, armies, and even molding the landscape to your design. </Text>

<Text>Some spells have mana maintenance costs, meaning they will require additional mana every turn to keep active. It's important to be mindful of these turn-by-turn costs in order to keep your most important spells active.</Text>

<Text>When you discover a technology you get a portion of that tech's research cost as 'Knowledge'. Warfare techs provide Warfare Knowledge, Civilization techs provide Civilization Knowledge and Magic techs provide Magic Knowledge. This Knowledge can be traded to and from other players and provides free research in the category it came from to the player who receives it.</Text>

</FlavorText>

(add comma between up and you)

---

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Heavenfall
AlLanMandragoran
Kongdej

Hooooooly hell this is loong

Just had to get that out of the system

Sincerely
~ Kongdej

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        <Quote>I have survived the trials of Grazna. My skin has turned aside teeth, arrows and spears. I have walked through fire, and ignored winter’s fury. What chance do you have against me?</Quote>

        <Backstory>Bone Ogres are mighty creatures that seek their lair in the deepest of volcanic vents, seeking - according to some - a refuge similar to that they are said to have been born and bred in... the underground labryinth of N'it'Vaganesh. Bone Ogres are reclusive and only emerge from their dark, warm caverns on rare occasions. When they do, however, woe to anything and anyone nearby.</Backstory>

        <Medallions InternalName="">

            <All>M_Ogre_BoneOgre_Card_01.png</All>

(lair is only a verb in Scotland; it means “to become mired”)

The highlighted text should perhaps be "that make their lair" rather than "that seek their lair", as the verb 'seek' is used again later in the sentence and the original form "that lair" implies that the Bone Ogres make their lairs within the volcanic vents.

<Backstory>It is said that the Titan Curgen created ogres by mingling the blood and bones of man and monster, that these creatures represented his first, vain attempt at making warriors to serve in his army, and that he imbued their very souls with a certain measure of death magic - just enough to insure that the ogre’s spirit was a restless one, never satisfied, always seeking battleand destruction. If this is true, then Curgen failed in his task, for ogres as a rule are brutes - too angry, willful, and indolent to make good soldiers, too easily distracted even to serve as effective sentries.

The highlighted verb should probably be 'ensure' rather than 'insure'.

<Backstory>It is said by some that these monsters were fashioned by Curgen on his arrival to this world, and that they are the 'Hordes of the Titan' mentioned in the Annals of Az-Bach-Nara. They alone among the creatures of Elemental have thrived since the Cataclysm, expanding their territory from the most desolate of mountains to all of the world's wastelands. They are extremely territorial creatures, who protect their nesting and hunting grounds with horrifying efficiency.

The armored plates of the Rock Spider have a great many uses, and can often by traded for gildar or other objects of value. </Backstory>

<Medallions InternalName="">

<All>M_Spider_Rock_Card_01.png</All>

(remove space between creatures and who)

Consider removing the comma in the highlighted section, as it is not necessary (though it remains grammatically correct both with and without the comma).

<FlavorText>

<Topic>MiniCutscene_EncounterTheAsag_Text</Topic>

<Text>It is a diseased land that lies before you - a vast rotting marsh, half swamp, half stagnant river, which reeks of death and corruption. Your soldiers have already killed half a dozen plague-infected creatures that were tracking your company - most no larger than rats, but one the size of a full-grown warg - and the cook has told you that none of the fish caught earlier will be fit to eat. And yet... if the sick and diseased were pruned from this land, if the marsh drained, and the grass allowed to grow... the Asag could once more be fertile, productive land...</Text>

</FlavorText>

I disagree with the removal of the comma between 'vast' and 'rotting', although I think in this case it's somewhat debatable as to which is correct.

<FlavorText>

<Topic>MiniCutscene_TheShroud_Text</Topic>

<Text>The mist that covers the world grows thicker. As you halt to gain your bearings, a man steps by you and disappears. "The Shroud! We are in the Shroud!" someone cries out, fear tingeing his voice. No wonder: the Shroud is a place of mystery and death. Those who enter disappear, never to be seen again. Some say they are whisked across the world, to other cities, other places. Others believe them transported to Deorcnysse, a city that stands in the Shroud's heart - a city containing great treasures, yours for the taking if you brave the Shroud's depths and defeat Deorcnysse's defenders.</Text>

</FlavorText>

Both 'tinging' and 'tingeing' are, according to the Merriam-Webster Free Online Dictionary, correct spellings of the highlighted verb. If you're changing 'tinging' to 'tingeing', it isn't necessary, though it also isn't wrong.

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AlLanMandragoran

Join Date 09/2010

+63

hot diggidy dawg, karma for captain jack and joeball.

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Thanks for the karma guys,

And thanks joeball, I made all of your changes (I replaced that comma and used dashes later so it wasn't 4 commas in 6 words).

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I'm drunk. And even if I were sober, I wouldn't have been able to read through the longer descriptions. Sarog was my Vietnam.

Incorrect relative pronoun.

<Backstory>There are some who say these monsters - rare, unnaturally ferocious - were made by the Titan Curgenon (missing preposition) his arrival to this world. Others believe they evolved naturally, within the depths of the great caverns dug by the dragon broods of old, and that their pale skin comes from being born in darkness, far from the sight of man. The truth may never be known.

<Backstory>Once Padar to the peoples of Antheros, his name is now cursed forever. For as Curgen's army drew near, Amhah made a pact with the Titan. A thousand souls (comma removed) he promised the Lord of Imperium, if Curgen would spare his people from destruction. To this, Curgen agreed. And so from the land's unfortunates - the poor, the lame, the cripples, and the criminal - Amhah gathered those thousand, and brought them to his Temple. And with his own hands, with his own knife, he sacrificed them. One by one, upon altars consecrated to the Five, sobbing as he did so, believing that the blasphemous act would keep his city safe.

But Curgen had lied. On the field of Gaer Blodwyn, the Titan met Amhah (comma removed) and refused his sacrifice. The thousand who died rose once more, from the very pits they had been buried in, and these became the Butchermen. And Amhah, bound in service to Curgen by his heinous acts, became their leader... cursed to wander the world, undead, undying, for as long as Helias burns in the sky.</Backstory>

The first two commas are incorrect. The commas after “rose once more” and “undying” are unnecessary.

The Ashwake is the mightiest of those, a dweller of deserts and wastelands, a breed of dragon immune to fire, immune to magic... a creature of near-unimaginable power (comma removed) and with a ferocious hatred of mankind. </Backstory>

<Backstory>This is a nomadic tribe of thieves, believed to predate the cataclysm, though there are some who say they are simply a band of survivors, remnants of those cooks, squires, and servants who followed the Great Army of the West to the gates of Imperium. All who join the Hashaini are schooled in the ways of thievery, learning the pickpocket's art and of course (space added) the ways of the dagger and throwing knife.</Backstory>

The subject and predicate need to agree in number with "tribe." (In American English, most collective nouns agree with singular verbs.)

Garrote horns are often used in various alchemical remedies and potions (comma removed) and are thus extremely valuable.</Backstory>

This sentence appears multiple times.

Haunters can heal companions to strengthen themselves (comma removed) and can use powerful spells to damage enemies.</Backstory>

<Backstory>These are soldiers for hire: mercenaries, raised as such in Spartan conditions in the wildlands. The Vandaal are expert fighters (comma removed) and travel where and when they please along the world's byways. They take their name from their founder, Erek Vandaal, who was once prince of the Free City of Valgona.</Backstory>

<Backstory>Wargs are fell creatures, wolves mutated by dark magics thousands of years ago. They are stronger and more cunning than their non-magical counterparts. They prefer to hunt alone (comma removed) and will fight over territory rather than ally themselves with their brethren.

<Backstory>Ignys - also called Delinaja, or Ash Serpents by some - are kin to the Lesser Fire Elementals. They are usually found nesting near areas of intense heat, such as volcanic rifts (comma removed) or Fire Shard sanctuaries. In their normal, quiescent state, they are cool and nearly invisible... but when irritated, they will glow and burst into flames.</Backstory>

<Backstory>This is an ancient order of fighters. Their roots can be traced back to the very founding of Ithul. Their training emphasizes the virtues of speed and attack; the younger knights of this order tend towards the impulsive, and troublesome.</Backstory>

<Backstory>This is an ancient order of fighters, whose roots can be traced back to the very founding of Ithul. Their training emphasizes the virtues of speed and attack; the younger knights of this order tend towards the impulsive, and troublesome.</Backstory>

Again, most collective nouns agree with singular verbs.

<Backstory>No one knows where the dreaded Krigoths originated. Most believe that they were Curgen's most lethal and most trusted servants. Few who have seen one have lived to tell the tale.</Backstory>

<Backstory>These are Drednii who primarily inhabit swamplands - weaker Demons who escaped the service of those who summoned them to this plane long ago. Weak though they may be, they still yearn for the souls of Men.

The Mire Skath is the smallest of the breed; yet it is dangerous still. Recall the fate of Grandmother Chun, who (as is told in the Fables of Ang Wakat) (comma removed) sought to enslave the Skath of Amuga to harvest her husband's rice paddies.

<Backstory>Mites are robbers and pests. They break wagon axles to force caravans to stop and repair. They weaken support beams in mines (comma removed) and collapse tunnels on miners. They are the ghostly tap, tap, tap miners hear when everyone is still and the cruel, distant laughter that travelers hear late at night.

When cornered they claim to be simple thieves, struggling to survive. But if they come across someone in need, their true intentions are revealed. They are murderers and as cruel as any Ogre, Quendar Taskmaster or Urxen Surgeon. If they find someone nearly dead, they will torture them for hours, delighting in their sudden power. Their favorite game is to capture a child or unarmed traveler, drop them in an old well and bet on how long they can remain afloat before drowning. As the time they bet on draws close the mites drop stones on the person and taunt them from above.

Commas removed after “mines” and added after “nearly dead.”

<Backstory>These are a sect of channelers, devotees of fell magic known by their black robes. They have mastered the spells within the Black Quire (comma removed) and thus have the ability to summon Drednii from the outer planes to Elemental and guide them in combat. </Backstory>

The armored plates of the Rock Spider have a great many uses (comma removed) and can often by traded for gildar or other objects of value. </Backstory>

<Backstory>These are the immature males of the Rock Spider; they are quicker than their mature counterparts, though their mandibles are not fully developed (and thus, not as deadly). These creatures tend to travel in huge, aggressive packs (comma removed) and are known to ambush unwary travelers. A caution: the carapace of the Spiderling is not fully developed. Any seeking the armored plates of these spiders for use in trade is advised to look elsewhere. </Backstory>

Mites have an irrational fear of cats and many farmers, and caravans keep a few just to discourage Mites from approaching. Even a group will avoid a farmhouse with a simple housecat, and if a Stalker enters an area the Mites will abandon their homes and disappear.</Backstory>

Comma added after “farmers.”

Slag Tendrils are a delicacy amongst the incredibly wealthy, and they are also prized components in alchemical experiments.</Backstory>

Comma added after “wealthy.”

An aside: troll shamans tend to be hoarders (comma removed) and can often be found carrying unique items pilfered from the corpses of slain adventurers.</Backstory>

<Backstory>These were bred by the Lady Umber, in the time before this one, for use in those battles now known as the Umbran Wars. Some of these monsters survived the Cataclysm (comma removed) and have now been captured and tamed by the great channelers of the East.

Vetrar is Elemental Lord of the frozen tundra - the ice-covered wastes of the North, beyond which the world is said to end. Yet there are some who believe Vetrar's title does not refer to the land he watches over, but to the role he is destined to play at the end of time... when the world itself will end in a second Cataclysm. “When all warmth bleeds out of the world, when summer has gone forever, when our monuments lie buried in snow and our cities have been ground to dust by glaciers, when the blood in the veins of the last of our children has been frozen by the endless winter, Vetrar will remain standing... the world's last champion. Then he will fulfill his charge (comma removed) and destroy all life on Elemental... man, Fallen, sacred and profane alike.”

Of the thousands that have set out to destroy Vetrar, only a handful have even reached the borders of his territory. Most have simply laid down in the snow and let death take them... a prefiguration, some believe, of how the world will end.

“Handful” is an exception to the convention on collective nouns.

<Description>Centuries ago, this was where Curgen's failed creations came to die - a battleground where monsters fought each other to the death. (double space added) Others use the arena now; men and women who possess - and wager - great fortunes upon each battle. Those seeking sport - and the chance, perhaps, to gain a fortune of their own - should not fear to enter.</Description>

<Description>Horses grant your units more speed in combat and in travel, allow them to carry more weight (comma removed) and make them immune to being knocked prone.</Description>

The comma isn’t necessary if the convention is to not use the Oxford comma, but it’s difficult to determine what the convention is. Sometimes it’s used and sometimes it isn’t.

<Description>For generations (space added) the Crest of the Empire has graced the banners of the ever-expanding nation.</Description>

<Text>The [FactionName] are struggling to bring civilization back to [WorldName]. It has been a century since the Cataclysm, and much knowledge has been lost. Our scholars are trying to recover as much as they can, as quickly as they can.</Text>

Comma added after “Cataclysm.”

<Text>We have made some progress already. The world of [WorldName] is becoming less complex, and other realms are not so alien to us.</Text>

Comma added after “complex.”

<Text>[LeaderName] has grown restless. As another season passes, and the great leader views [LeaderHisHer] vast empire, [FactionNameShort]'s ruler feels little satisfaction. The joys of a victorious battle, the thrill of adventuring the untamed wilds, the excitement of warring with the unworthy channelers of the world were all fading memories. It is time for the reign of [FactionNameShort]'s Sovereign to be passed onto another, and [LeaderName] will be free to pursue new adventures.</Text>

<Text>As the lands around the [LongFactionName] had blossomed, so had the love between [SovereignName] and his fair bride. The two lost souls, searching for adventure, hope, or simply a means for survival, instead found each other (comma removed) and pledged to unite against the gathering darkness. Their people celebrated the new [ShortFactionName] queen with open arms and thunderous song, and, for a moment, the king rested and rejoiced.</Text>

<Text>It was a day of celebration amongst the people of [ShortFactionName]. The wedding of their queen, the mighty [SovereignName] and her suitor, [UnitName], brought the cities of the [LongFactionName] into a mood of complete jubilance. While the affair was kept intimate for the couple, with only personal friends and family in attendance, the streets of [CapitalName] erupted with song and dance. For that moment, they forgot about their struggles, fears, and heartaches (comma removed) and glorified the good life made possible by their queen.</Text>

<Text>Your throat is parched - the stench of sweat and smoke is all around. You cough (space added) and take a long drink of water, and survey the land before you. It is rock, and lava, and fire. Pockets of flame erupt from the ground everywhere you look, and no wonder: these are the Burning Lands, the territory of Delin - the Elemental Lord of Fire. It is the territory of his creatures as well - the Ignys, the fire snakes who guard his sanctum, and that of the lesser elementals he commands.

<Text>Centuries in the past, a great war was fought between the two most powerful Dred'nir - Curgen, and Kir-Tion. For years on end, the two Titans struggled for supremacy (space added) until in one final, world-shattering battle, Kir-Tion was killed; his army, his weapons of war, his very body were obliterated from Elemental. These devastated lands - these twisted rocks, these awe-inspiring craters - mark the boundaries of that battlefield.

<Text>A seemingly endless series of caves pockmark the hillside before you - too many to have formed naturally. You soon realize where you are: Namtur. In the time before this one, Prince Az al-Himbsa - the torturer king - claimed this mountain to bore his legendary pits, hundreds of them, stretching deep into the earth. Within each he placed either a great treasure (space added) or a cruel trap - a cache of gold (space added) or a savage demon, a precious jewel (space added) or a monstrous beast. And Az-Himbsa and his guests would delight in sending their servants out to explore these deadly caverns. You wonder if any of those treasures - or any of those creatures - survived the Cataclysm. There is, of course, only one way to find out.</Text>

<Text>[SovereignName] knew at an early age that [GenderHeShe] had an uncommon greatness within [GenderHimHer]. Friendswho caused [SovereignName] sadness would fall upon the poorest of luck, and dreams of a glorious kingdom with [SovereignName] overlooking it seemed more real than life in [GenderHisHer] village. Now [SovereignName] has grown (comma removed) and looks to find if there is any truth to those dreams.</Text>

<Text>Be mindful of where you build your cities. The amount of Grain available to a city impacts how much food that city can produce (comma removed) and therefore how large it can grow. Likewise Materials impact a city’s production, making cities with a lot of Materials (4-5) great for building expensive improvements or advanced troops, which will take longer in cities with 2 or 3 Materials.</Text>

<Text>When your Sovereign or Champions level up, you can increase the spells they can cast by selecting traits in specific schools of magic.</Text>

Comma added after “up.”

Random gripes

Some of the Game Over messages are written in the present tense; some, in the past; and some, in both.

There are many (too many to list individually) unnecessary commas offsetting prepositional phrases that should be removed.

The Oxford comma is used inconsistently. This passage omits the Oxford comma:

<Quote>I have survived the trials of Grazna. My skin has turned aside teeth, arrows and spears. I have walked through fire, and ignored winter’s fury. What chance do you have against me?</Quote>

This doesn’t:

<Backstory>It is said that the Titan Curgen created ogres by mingling the blood and bones of man and monster, that these creatures represented his first, vain attempt at making warriors to serve in his army, and that he imbued their very souls with a certain measure of death magic - just enough to insure that the ogre’s spirit was a restless one, never satisfied, always seeking battleand destruction. If this is true, then Curgen failed in his task, for ogres as a rule are brutes - too angry, willful, and indolent to make good soldiers, too easily distracted even to serve as effective sentries.

Spacing after periods is inconsistent.

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Quoting zigzag,

reply 6

Sarog was my Vietnam.

Ha!

I've done a few but I'll have to wait til tomorrow morning to apply the rest. As for spacing after periods and inconsistent serial commas, I decided to leave them alone - gotta pick my battles.

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<Backstory>There are some who say these monsters - rare, unnaturally ferocious - were made by the Titan Curgenon (missing preposition) his arrival to this world. Others believe they evolved naturally, within the depths of the great caverns dug by the dragon broods of old, and that their pale skin comes from being born in darkness, far from the sight of man. The truth may never be known.

I think that, instead of there being a missing preposition here, what is lacking is a space between 'Curgen' and 'on', unless Stardock's game lore includes both a Titan named Curgen and a Titan named Curgenon. I'm somewhat doubtful of that, since I don't believe that I've seen reference to a Titan named Curgenon anywhere else in the game, and I don't believe that Curgenon is mentioned in the Hiergamenon.

<Text>Centuries in the past, a great war was fought between the two most powerful Dred'nir - Curgen, and Kir-Tion. For years on end, the two Titans struggled for supremacy (space added) until in one final, world-shattering battle, Kir-Tion was killed; his army, his weapons of war, his very body were obliterated from Elemental. These devastated lands - these twisted rocks, these awe-inspiring craters - mark the boundaries of that battlefield.

Consider removing the comma in the highlighted section. The presence of the comma almost makes it seem that Kir-Tion was an afterthought, a lesser opponent, rather than a (near) equal of Curgen. It isn't a necessary correction, but the presence of the comma (at least to me) makes it seem as though the conclusion of this war between Curgen and Kir-Tion was never in doubt, with Curgen being the indubitably more powerful of the two (might be the case, only Stardock's people would know, though).

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Thanks joeball, I went back and removed the titan Curgenon from the world of Elemental

@zigzag - Thanks for addressing those spaces, when you underline and bold and italicize a space by itself it disappears from the forum. From now on I'll make extra sure to u/b/i the words around the space.

As for the serial comma I add for that list of phrases, it doesn't read too well unless it's added there (one of the many reasons to always use it).

Everything is updated now.

Thanks again guys.

I think coreitems is up next. Gah, it's large.

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