Once again, HERE THERE BE SPOILERS.
These changes include a bunch of random stuff. Aside from the design units screen I pretty much went backward alphabetically through the xmls for a while (unittypenames.xml, then treaties.xml, etc., skipping a few larger ones til I got through CoreShards.xml)
This includes:
UnitTypeNames.xml
Treaties.xml
HistoricalFigures.xml
CoreWorldResources.xml
CoreUnitStats.xml
CoreShards.xml
One important note - Pillar of Mascrinthus, Crystal Crag, Darkling Village, Dragon Cave, and Ogre Lair in CoreWorldResources.xml are getting flagged by my visual studio as having Unicode character value 133, illegal whitespace – I believe there is a return or something else before </LongDescription> - I don’t know what effect this will have but my visual studio is grumpy about it. The descriptions of Crystal Crag, Darkling Village, Dragon Cave, and Ogre Lair seem to be missing a word or some punctuation where the return is.
Also, Fruit Grove says “A sweet, nourishing fruit that, unlike its cousin the apple, can be harvested year round.“ Which fruit is it? Just some random fruit that is not an apple? The description is grammatically correct so I’m not including this below, it’s just something to think about.
=====================
Design Units Screen
To have parallel structure with the rest of the menu options this should be “Unit Design”
============
UnitTypeNames.xml
Two small things here, one of the defender quotes:
<Text>'Any invading force will dine upon my blade.'</Text>
(Just wanted to make sure you really meant “dine” – I mean, it does make some sense – and not die.)
One of the fallen fighter quotes:
<Text>'I will break my enemy's spirits... then bones.'</Text>
(Consider making this “then their bones.”)
============
Treaties.xml
---
<DisplayName>Trade Treaty</DisplayName>
<Image>Action_Scroll.png</Image>
<Description>Both parties get a 10% bonus to their per-turn income.</Description>
(Consider making this “income per turn”.)
---
<DisplayName>Technology Treaty</DisplayName>
<Description>Both parties get a 10% bonus to their Research per turn.</Description>
(remove the dash, this is not a compound adjective and therefore doesn’t require it)
============
HistoricalFigures.xml
---
<DisplayName>Draginol</DisplayName>
<Portrait>Rank_Draginol.png</Portrait>
<Backstory>You, like this mysterious, transcendental figure, have mastered the world and all the things that dwell upon it. Your word is more akin to sacred commandment than secular law; you are more akin to a god than a man.
Draginol's very existence is little more than rumor; his name appears but a handful of times in the Journals of Ourannes, a Quendar scholar who served Ezmir the scribe on the Long March. His physical appearance is only hinted at therein, never described; he is variously referred to as one of the Destiny and as separate from them, a being of spirit and energy, radiant with power.
A single sketch of him, provenance unknown, exists in the library at New Pariden.</Backstory>
(Remove comma between world and and. remove comma between Destiny and and, Consider throwing a period or dash in the “Destiny, and as separate from them, a being of spirit energy, radiant with power” because that’s a lot of commas)
---
<DisplayName>Dread Lord Curgen</DisplayName>
<Portrait>Rank_Curgen.png</Portrait>
<Backstory>Your name is now spoken in hushed whispers; your kingdom is the most powerful on the planet... you, like Curgen before you, are unquestioned ruler of Elemental.
He was most powerful of all the Titans: maker of Imperium, slayer of Pariden, builder of the greatest Empire the world had ever seen. Yet in the end, his own kind turned against him, Arnor and Dred'nir alike, leaving Curgen with none but the Fallen creatures he created as his allies.
Let his fate serve as warning: do not build your kingdom on the backs and bones of your citizens.</Backstory>
---
<DisplayName>Pariden</DisplayName>
<Portrait>Rank_Pariden.png</Portrait>
<Backstory>Glory to your name; glory to the world you have built, the great peace you have ushered in, reminiscent of the golden age of learning and advancement forever associated with the Titan Pariden.
Though the Age of the Magi is justly remembered as the high point of mankind's civilization, truly the most wondrous era - the most beneficial to all living creatures of Elemental - was that span of time between the arrival of Pariden, first of the Titans, and his murder by Curgen. In that era was the knowledge of mana and its power brought to a zenith; Pariden and his lieutenant Tandis explored not just the continent of Anthuane, but the far seas of the world, and the Veladrii forged the great weapons which are today so justly prized by all.
If your accomplishments are remembered but half as well, you should deem yourself to be lucky.</Backstory>
---
<DisplayName>Breon</DisplayName>
<Portrait>Rank_Breon.png</Portrait>
<Backstory>Your achievements make certain that your name will be revered forever in your people's histories, just as the people of the North revere Breon, Witch-Queen of Nimer, guardian of the Magi's Stone, most gifted of all mankind's enchantresses.
She was the savior of the Nimer, the slayer of the Dragon Gokor'as'Saag, from whom she rescued that object which came to be known variously as the Jewel of Breon or the Magi's Stone. Her marriage to Argynn of Malaya united the peoples of this world as one for the first time in recorded history. Yet for all the things which Breon is remembered, she is most loved for something she lacked: the sin of pride. Though she was Queen of the Nimer, when the librarians of ancient Iluna came to honor her first husband, Aelthir of the Aivern, she gladly stood in his shadow, as she did during the great wars against the Shadow Riders of Parudrah, when Argynn stood as first general of the assembled armies of man.</Backstory>
---
<DisplayName>Ereog</DisplayName>
<Portrait>Rank_Ereog.png</Portrait>
<Backstory>The principles by which you built your Empire shall forever stand as an example to other sovereigns, as the teachings of this man - first and greatest of the Magi - remain a primer for all the world's channelers.
It was Ereog who cast down Az-Adoras, the Dark Prince, ruler of cursed Al-Ashteroth; Ereog who raised Hallas from settlement to great city; and Ereog who founded the order of Anthuane, whose adherents, known as Padars, journeyed forth across the wide world to teach the worship of the Five. Yet his hour of greatest triumph - the creation of the Forge of Making - was in truth his greatest mistake, for it was the Forge that drew the Titans to Elemental... and ended the rule of man on this world for thousands of years.
Let not your pride in your achievements blind you to their repercussions.</Backstory>
---
<DisplayName>Lady Umber</DisplayName>
<Portrait>Rank_LadyUmber.png</Portrait>
<Backstory>From chaos you have brought order, overcoming more powerful foes with both might and guile - much as this Titan, once Curgen's most trusted lieutenant, did in forging her own Empire a thousand years ago.
Men curse her name, for it was the Titan Ilona - known to history as the Lady Umber - who betrayed the flag of truce between Titan and Man and murdered Tandis, captain of the Azure Knights, true commander of the great army of the West. Yet she is beloved of all the Fallen, for Ilona was first to deal with them - Quendar, Urxen, and Trog alike - as worthy beings in their own right, rather than just slaves, as did Curgen.</Backstory>
(remove commas between chaos and you and Man and and – the dash takes the place of a comma because there are so many of them, though this might be a subjective change on my part)
---
<DisplayName>Tar-Thela, the Emerald Sorceress</DisplayName>
<Portrait>Rank_Tar-Thela.png</Portrait>
<Backstory>There is much to admire about your kingdom; yet its beauty, like this Enchantress's, disguises the defects within, the flaws that ultimately brought about its downfall.
Of all the Titans who came to this world, few have altered its destiny to the extent this sorceress did, first by her binding of all the world's mana to the elemental shards, then by her seduction and betrayal of Morrigan the Mad. With these acts she was forever cast as a villain, though some claim that in the end, Tar-Thela redeemed herself at the Battle of Imperium by fighting on the side of the Armies of the West.</Backstory>
(remove comma between acts and she)
---
<DisplayName>Morrigan the Mad</DisplayName>
<Portrait>Rank_MorriganTheMad.png</Portrait>
<Backstory>Take greater care in fashioning your empire, lest your fate continue to mirror that of Hosten's son, Morrigan, whose lust for power caused him to descend into madness.
The Patricide, as some called Morrigan, took the throne on his father's death but soon lost interest in the governing of men. What drove Morrigan was a hunger for knowledge - a desire for immortality, to remain young forever, like his paramour, Tar-Thela. In pursuit of that knowledge he reopened the catacombs beneath Imperium, the underground world of Calebethon, and there conducted experiments beyond the ken of Man and Titan...
His name lives forever in infamy.</Backstory>
(remove comma between death and but. The dash is in place of a semicolon that preceded a dependant clause)
---
<DisplayName>Vatula</DisplayName>
<Portrait>Rank_Vatula.png</Portrait>
<Backstory>You have much to learn, not unlike this sorcerer, a man who should have spent more time mastering his craft and less masterminding his rule.
Vatula came to the channeler's art late in life; a merchant of the House Lamord, he discovered a journal dating from the time before the cataclysm, one that purported to be a comprehensive list of arcane artifacts said to have been amassed by the Scholars of Iluna. He focused his efforts on amassing those objects rather than following the principles of the channeler's art, as outlined in Hosten's Codex.
His efforts, even when successful, ended in frustration; he lacked the knowledge to utilize the power he possessed.</Backstory>
(remove comma between objects and rather)
---
<DisplayName>Janusk</DisplayName>
<Portrait>Rank_Janusk.png</Portrait>
<Backstory>Your current abilities mirror that of Relias's reluctant scribe, a man more suited to hold a tankard of ale than a broadsword.
Let it not be forgotten, though, that Janusk is a survivor: the only one of Relias's companions to return from the East, one of the only men to emerge unscathed from the burning of Krandir. His tales of Relias's expedition have become required reading in the five kingdoms; the role he played in the Nobles' Revolt is not to be underestimated either.
Summon a similar resolve in future nation-building efforts, and your efforts will be rewarded.</Backstory>
(I made this correction earlier but I’m leaving it here for completeness’ sake)
---
=============
CoreWorldResources.xml
---
<DisplayName>Flooded Graveyard</DisplayName>
<Type>FloodedGraveyard</Type>
<Description>Build a Monument here to tap into the Death power of this location.</Description>
<LongDescription>A great battle was fought here in ages past; the unnamed dead were buried where they fell. When the cataclysm struck, the land flooded, and corpses floated to the surface of the mire and muck.</LongDescription>
---
<DisplayName>Howling Chasm</DisplayName>
<Type>HowlingChasm</Type>
<Description>Build a Monument here to tap into the Air power of this location.</Description>
<LongDescription>The storms of the world - powerful winds, a constant, deafening roar of air - rush through this bottomless chasm, as if a hole had been torn in Elemental itself. </LongDescription>
(this consists only of removing an extra space after air, unless this space was needed to make the text align right or something)
---
<DisplayName>Iru T'Alavar</DisplayName>
<Type>IruTAlavar</Type>
<Description>Build a Monument here to tap into the Life power of this location.</Description>
<LongDescription>Here is the Valley of the Iru - a land untouched by the cataclysm, a land rippling with power of a world whole and undamaged, a memory of a time - and a place - that is no more. </LongDescription>
(remove an extra space before “that” – unless it’s necessary for text alignment – the dash is in place of a comma, but this might be subjective)
---
<DisplayName>Pillar of Mascrinthus</DisplayName>
<Type>PillarOfMascrinthus</Type>
<Description>Build a Monument here to tap into the Earth power of this location.</Description>
<LongDescription>Here stands a monolith ancient beyond measure, a stone tower bearing the Sigil of Mascrinthus - an immortal being whose power is said to lay dormant in the ground beneath this pillar, waiting to be tapped.</LongDescription>
(add a period and REMOVE THE RETURN before /LongDescription)
---
<DisplayName>Pit of Sarpah</DisplayName>
<Type>PitOfSarpah</Type>
<Description>Build a Monument here to tap into the Fire power of this location.</Description>
<LongDescription>As the Cataclysm raged, as the fires of civilization were extinguished and Elemental entered a long, dark, savage night, thousands of serpents were drawn here, to the Pit of Sarpah, where they basked in the warmth of its volcanic fissures.</LongDescription>
---
<DisplayName>Temple of the Dragon</DisplayName>
<Type>TempleOfTheDragon</Type>
<Description>Rebuild the Temple of the Dragon here to be able to recruit dragons.</Description>
<LongDescription>The stone fragments scattered here bear the mark of the Dragon - the symbol of the great beasts who once ruled this world. Long before the Titans came to this world, a Temple devoted to the worship of Elemental's most powerful beings stood here... </LongDescription>
---
<DisplayName>Crystal Crag</DisplayName>
<Type>Crystal</Type>
<Description>Build a Crystal Foundry here to produce Crystal.</Description>
<LongDescription>An outcropping of glittering stones dots the hillside here. These are crystals, rocks which are said to contain the primal, magical essence of Elemental itself.</LongDescription>
(missing a word or some punctuation! Also contains a return before “crystals”, which probably deleted the word. I’ve corrected it to what I figured it should be.)
---
<DisplayName>Clay Pit</DisplayName>
<Type>Clay</Type>
<Description>Build a Clay Quarry here to add a Material to your city.</Description>
<LongDescription>Having abundant resources locally available can greatly reduce the time it takes to construct buildings in a growing city. Unfortunately, quarries are quite rare since much of the surface of the land has been covered with sediment from the debris thrown into the air during the Cataclysm.</LongDescription>
(it said “their” and “after during” so I put “the air” and “during” – you may want it to be “after” for some reason)
---
<DisplayName>Wild Horses</DisplayName>
<Type>Horses</Type>
<Description>Build a Stable here to produce Horses.</Description>
<LongDescription>The size of the animals in this herd (the nearest looks close to eighteen hands high) make it likely they are descendants of the famed Antheran warhorse, gone feral during the collapse of civilization. Trained properly, they will make fearsome mounts. </LongDescription>
(you may have a reason to have two spaces before and after the parentheses, so I’m leaving them in. If there is no reason, take them out.
---
<DisplayName>Iron Ore</DisplayName>
<Type>IronOre</Type>
<Description>Build a Mine here to produce Metal.</Description>
<LongDescription>The ground here has been ripped asunder by the cataclysm; rubble is strewn everywhere, some of it rock shot through with veins of reddish and purple stone. This is iron ore in its raw form. Build a mine here, and extract it to forge powerful weapons and armor. </LongDescription>
(weapons misspelled)
---
<DisplayName>Prestigious Location</DisplayName>
<Type>ScenicViewBonusType</Type>
<Description>Build a Monument here to produce Influence.</Description>
<LongDescription>The cataclysm has created here, rather than destroyed – it birthed a place unique in all the world, a site that can be seen for dozens of miles in any direction – a site that once developed will be a symbol of power and prestige as important as any army. </LongDescription>
(consider revising “unique in all the world” – I put a dash to remove the run-on sentence)
---
<DisplayName>Wild Wargs</DisplayName>
<Type>Wargs</Type>
<Description>Build a Kennel here to produce Wargs.</Description>
<LongDescription>It is said that Curgen, who made the Fallen from Man in the depths of N'it'Vaganesh, did also create Wargs from the wolves of the wild. That is why these creatures are often used as mounts by the grayskins. </LongDescription>
(three capitalizations here)
---
<DisplayName>Wild Game</DisplayName>
<Type>WildGame</Type>
<Description>Build a Pasture here to provide additional Grain to the attached city.</Description>
<LongDescription>Here lies a dense and verdant woodland - one of the few remaining in a land devastated by the cataclysm. Wild Game can be found in abundance here.</LongDescription>
---
<DisplayName>Wild Grain</DisplayName>
<Type>Grain</Type>
<Description>Build a Farm here to provide an additional Grain for your city.</Description>
<LongDescription>Wild grain can be farmed to draw people to your settlements, as well as feed your citizens. </LongDescription>
(remove the space between as and feed unless it was necessary for text alignment)
---
<DisplayName>Darkling Village</DisplayName>
<Type>WildDarklings</Type>
<Description>Build a Camp here to recruit Darklings.</Description>
<LongDescription>Figures gather around a fire; short of stature, gray of skin, these beings are called Darklings. They are said to have been created by Curgen in the depths of N'it'Vaganesh. They are the first - and least - of the Fallen.</LongDescription>
(remove comma between Curgen and in - also there is an illegal character, remove the return before darklings – also, some words or punctuation were missing)
---
<DisplayName>Dragon Cave</DisplayName>
<Type>WildDragons</Type>
<Description>Build a Camp here to recruit Dragons.</Description>
<LongDescription>Here looms a massive cave, a rent in the mountainside in whose darkness huge shapes can be seen moving.</LongDescription>
(illegal character, remove the return after moving – also, some words or punctuation were missing, so I just added a period)
---
<DisplayName>Border Village</DisplayName>
<Type>WildMercenaries</Type>
<Description>Build a Camp here to recruit Mercenaries.</Description>
<LongDescription>Here stands a village of the roughest, rawest kind - a haven for outlaws and those who live life by the sword. These people are dangerous. Properly managed, they can also be good soldiers.</LongDescription>
(the dash replaced a semicolon coming before a dependant clause)
---
<DisplayName>Ogre Lair</DisplayName>
<Type>WildOgres</Type>
<Description>Build a Camp here to recruit Ogres.</Description>
<LongDescription>Here stands a crude camp, composed of little more than a firepit and a privy, home to a tribe of massive, monstrous, manlike creatures known as Ogres.</LongDescription>
(remove the return before “the ogre” - this sentence was missing something so I changed up the ending)
---
<DisplayName>Wilding Village</DisplayName>
<Type>WildWildings</Type>
<Description>Build a Camp here to recruit Wildings.</Description>
<LongDescription>Here stands a simple village whose thatched huts, built from wildgrass and shrub, instantly identify the kind and character of its inhabitants: Wildings. These are diminuitive, man-like creatures said to have been created by Curgen in the bowels of N'it'Vaganesh.</LongDescription>
(remove the comma between village and whose)
---
==========
CoreUnitStats.xml
I DO NOT CHANGE HIDDEN STUFF, SO MAKE SURE HIDDEN STUFF IS HIDDEN – OR CORRECTED
---
<DisplayName>Charisma</DisplayName>
<DisplayNameShort>CHA</DisplayNameShort>
<Description>Increases the prestige of the city this unit is stationed in.</Description>
---
<DisplayName>Intelligence</DisplayName>
<DisplayNameShort>INT</DisplayNameShort>
<Description>Increases the experience a unit earns and its ability to resist spells and lowers the chance its spells will be resisted.</Description>
(replaced a comma with and)
---
<DisplayName>Dodge</DisplayName>
<DisplayNameShort>DGE</DisplayNameShort>
<Description>Penalty to an enemy’s chance to hit this unit.</Description>
---
=============
CoreShards.xml
All shards say:
Shrines require a knowledge of magic related technology to be built.
This would be better as:
Building shrines requires the knowledge of shard harvesting.
Or
Building shrines requires the appropriate magic technology.
Or something like these
---
<DisplayName>Air Shard</DisplayName>
<Type>AirShard</Type>
<Description>These shards increase the power of air spells and increase the rate the channeler gains mana.</Description>
<LongDescription>One of the great Air Shards. A warm breeze swirls about it as the shard reflects the sky above.
---
<DisplayName>Earth Shard</DisplayName>
<Type>EarthShard</Type>
<Description>These shards increase the power of earth spells and increase the rate the channeler gains mana.</Description>
<LongDescription>You can feel the pull of the great Earth Shard. The ground itself slips toward the shard, forming a mound at its base. Any dirt or rocks you kick loose roll up the mound and settle against the smooth green side of the shard as if the world is trying to swallow the shard, or the shard is the seed of a future mountain.
---
<DisplayName>Fire Shard</DisplayName>
<Type>FireShard</Type>
<Description>These shards increase the power of fire spells and increase the rate the channeler gains mana.</Description>
<LongDescription>The area around the Fire Shard is clear of vegetation; the air shimmers and steals the breath from any that come too close. Erratic light flickers deep inside the shard, which entrances those that stare into it for too long.
---
<DisplayName>Life Shard</DisplayName>
<Type>LifeShard</Type>
<Description>These shards increase the power of life spells and increase the rate the channeler gains mana.</Description>
<LongDescription>Wildflowers bloom around the great Life Shard, and each points toward the shard as if it were the Sun. Trees twist and bend over centuries to grow toward the shard and vines creep through the grass to wrap around it.
---
<DisplayName>Death Shard</DisplayName>
<Type>DeathShard</Type>
<Description>These shards increase the power of death spells and increase the rate the channeler gains mana.</Description>
<LongDescription>The Death Shard appears ruined. It is grey and inchoate, its depths are burnt out and lifeless. There is no immediate sense of power in the shard. But those that stare long enough into its depths will sense movement, will hear the wail of those bound to it and feel the suffering bound into the shard.
(consider changing the second “bound” from “bound into the shard” to “suffering deep inside it” or something like that)
---
