More grammar crap. As always, some things may seem picky but I'm just callin' 'em like I sees 'em. Thanks Derek for getting on these so fast 
This focuses on the beginning of the game. It'll probably be all for today, as I think this will at least cover the initial impressions of folks who buy next week.
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Who Are You? (Nations Screen)
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Nobles’ Revolt
the one overriding cause they have in common: freedom.
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some… and monsters (yes this is kindof picky but it’s sort of awkward without the and)
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gladiators, and slaves
discipline and order. (no comma)
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it is only sense to make an alliance with them (it is only sense is kindof awkard, consider changing to "it only makes sense to" or just "it makes sense to")
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respect and allegiance. (no comma)
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warriors; violence
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Map Settings and World Options
Note that the typical intelligence of opponents is selected here and then also on the following screen, which is confusing.
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A balanced number of quests will be placed on the map. (all other options are full sentences, this one is a fragment)
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The AI uses its best algorithms, gets slight economic advantages, and has slightly buffed sovereigns.
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Beginning “books”
Obviously these are voiced and can’t change much as far as wording (and don’t need to! the words themselves are fine) but there are some commas and stuff.
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This you are determined to change. (no comma)
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Fallen alike – a civilization (was a sentence fragment)
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manifest to you: the bridges (before and after a semicolon requires complete clauses, but a colon can be used here instead)
monuments and build (no comma, because the sentence already has too many clauses)
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than yourself, better
Elemental - including
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The rest follow you now, as all others will soon. None can withstand your power. Those who will not yield will die. Those who survive will serve. (the last two are "no commas")
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Tips (so far)
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tax rate, as it
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resulting in a damage multiplier to some spells and increased mana generation for your Faction (needs to be a clause like this for parallel structure)
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access to. Keep an eye out
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I'll have more tomorrow, I have to sort them out and finish off sections before I post them. Someday I'll even get to play the game! 
