Some quick tips and answers for you:
1) Yeah, the very very early units are quite bad. Pick up a few techs in the Warfare tree and build some 5-strong units with leather armor and basic weapons. These units can gain levels, and they can be buffed with some spells. See point 6 below, but be sure to do 'Design' and give them some custom Traits, you can make considerably better units than the defaults.
2) Mages are weak until they gain a few key perks and spells, then they explode in power. Experiment with a few custom Sovereigns that have the various spell schools immediately, just so you can test out the low level spells - each school has different spells, and some have very cheap buffs/debuffs that are useful immediately. Damaging spells are not especially useful right out of the gate, they get much stronger after your mage gains a few levels.
3) Dig through the Civ tree a bit, the two factions (Empire and Kingdom) can each learn to recruit allies through technologies in this tree, up to and including Dragons. Unfortunately currently, tech research is quite slow and by the time you unlock these techs, find their lairs on the map, build them, and recruit them, they tend to be somewhat obsolete in the current builds - but they do exist.
4) Nothing to say about this really, other than to tinker with the starting options a bit. You could try a medium map with less players, or a large map with less players. Adjust the terrain random generator type, number of enemies, their factions, and the difficulty and number of monsters and resources.
5) Tutorial is solid, I would expect they'll revisit it later once they've hammered out more of the game - waste of time to do an in-depth tutorial now when a lot of systems are still in flux.
6) Agreed, it is a bit fiddly. On the upshot, you really don't have to design troops very often - there is an 'autoupgrade' selection for equipment that will automatically update your designs with new armor/weapons as you research them. Spend a bit of time in the design menu looking over the Traits - a handful of designed units with good traits can be quite effective if you babysit them and gain them a few levels.
There are quite a few balance and other issues with the current build, so feel free to share your thoughts - your perspective as a fresh player is just as (if not more) valuable than the more experienced players here. Post your impressions/ideas in FE Beta, and your bugs/crashes in FE Support.