lol.

Also, they will constantly look at each other with a glare of disgust and repulsion, and try to pass it off as passion.

Ridiculous Request #1:

Make the game fun.

-Add a troll bridge with trolls as a minor race. This minor race is unable to form alliances or have diplomatic negotiations with any other faction. As such, they are always a hostile faction and a common enemy to all other factions. The trolls cannot be permanently killed, but are placed on every map to be hacked down for fun, just so they can rise again and be hacked down again. You cannot pass over the troll bridge without taking out at least one troll.

-New Unit - 'Kamikaze Olympian'. Remember the Uruk who lit the gunpowder at Helm's Deep? They should have had something more like that at the opening ceremonies!

-Front-loading washers.

-New Spell - 'End Turn'. Casting this spell during an opponents turn will end their turn after a 30 second countdown. It can only be cast after N minutes has past of that players turn. The spell transfers its mana cost and X of each resource to the opponent whose turn it ends. If these costs cannot be paid, the spell fizzles, and then fizzes, and you have a bubbly drink.

-New Terrain - 'White Shaded Polygon'.

-New City Improvement - 'Wooden Prosthetics Lab'. We can rebuild them, we have the technology. We just don't want to spend a lot of Gildar.

-Tomatoes, sausages, nice crispy bacon.

-New Global Enchantment - 'Haven'. This spell prevents Gungans ever being a race. Not only in the game, but in any fantasy setting.

No no, that's too much like 1. It has to be different... hence... reverse!

Oh, and I forgot to mention, but please don't balance 7, it's completely fine since it's my favorite number.

It's a lot simpler. Replace all squares with tetragons. That should finally please everybody.

Chill. I've just been meaner to the poor emo vamps. =P

Oh, and on that note...  Twilight vs. Blade

- The only way to kill a Sovereign should be to remove their head from their shoulders. If an enemy Sovereign lands the killing blow with an edged weapon, an edged spell or an edged diplomacy, the dead Sovereign's stats are added onto the winner's stats in a burst of lightning.

There can be only one.. 

Units stationed in a city with a pub should infrequently get an increase to their unarmed combat rating, losing 1 HP in the brawl.

New unit:  Televangelist.  They are sent towards neutral and enemy cities to use their Raisefunds ability.

Nazis. Elemental is an american development so why are there no nazis and roadblocks with the ever popular "Halt, Papiere!"?

New item:  Road map.  Allows you to remove the FOW on a distant area for one turn.  When you use a road map on another area, the FOW returns to the area you uncovered before because there is no skill to refold road maps so it has to be discarded.

New unit:  Paladins.  Holy warriors who boost the morale and health of all troops around them.  Use huge and dangerous looking two-handed swords that have the damage dealing capabilities of foam bats.  Can not reproduce because they cannot stop longing for unicorns.

Dinosaurs. Everything is better with dinosaurs.

Some tactical battle maps should have large monkeys throwing exploding barrels.

Campaign scenario mission:  The player is stranded on a mid-sized islands with a fantastic amount of resources.  He has to escape with the help of a "professor" who can build lasers, short range airplanes, and nuclear bombs from coconuts... but is completely unable to construct a working boat.  The trick would be to ignore this utterly useless person.

There should be a magical information network, the "Interplane", where channelers can download porn. Err, I mean perform magical research.

Units hurt in a tactical battle cannot heal (replace fallen figures) afterwards if you failed to construct a MASH unit on the strategic map beforehand.

Trained units should be able to join a union.  The number of lawyer champions you recruit would regulate your troops' working hours and holidays.

New magical element:  Heart.   The exact order of elements would also be important.

New sovereign trait:  Gay.  Lower chance of creating offspring but additional options for clothing and hairdo.

New tech tree:   Writing.
                   Piece of coal. Allows you to make notes on the cloth map but the mouse pointer leaves black smudges briefly afterwards. 
                   Pencil.  Allows you to make notes on the cloth map but doesn't get your hands dirty. you don't.
                   Possible artifact item:  Embroidery Needle.   Same effect as "pencil", only in more than one colour.

New technology:  Rope.  Allows units to enter and leave a ship at "cliff" tiles.

Do channelers dream of magical sheep?

New city improvement:  Bath house.  Without visiting one every 10 turns, an army is detectable (smell) at 1 more square on the strategic map.

The map should rotate around the player, not the other way around.

Traveling boots should only increase the strategic speed of cavalry units while the soldiers carry their horses. Given that horses are an inventory item, that is possible.

New soverign trait:  Emo.  Reduces willingness of other leaders to enter diplomatic talks but gives "pity" bonus when they agree to.

New technology:  Planting pots.  Indoor plants improve room climate.

Spells need a secondary fire mode.

New technology:  Door.  City walls could include gates.

Cool one-liners for when your sovereign defeats an enemy champion or sovereign.

After getting hurt in a tactical battle with spiders, troops randomly develop the ability to climb city walls and cliffs.

Ability to get divorced.  Depending on how many divorce lawyer champions you employ, your spose may leave with your horse and most of your empire and treasury.

Cute Teddy Bears as a counter for vastly advanced siege engines or magical creatures. The teddy bears are not allowed to die so they must eventually win the battle.

The ability to employ concubines.

Horses and wargs should not be the only domestic animals in the entire world.  Pig farms, roaming cow herds, sheep, goats, chickens, ducks...

A champion should be able to rip a branch off a tree instead of having to pay 15 gold pieces in a shop for the same product.

New technology:  Alcohol.  Increases the morale of troops but has a low chance of giving them the Hangover debuff.

With low leadership (charisma?) skills, the troops do random damage to conquered cities.

Champions need the ability to wear masks and costumes to protect their secret identity.

A day and nicht cycle.  We cannot have ninjas without night.  It does not work that way.

New mount:  Chocobo.  Plays special music track when the sovereign moves on the strategic map while riding one.

New city improvement:  Sewers.  Without them your city is detectable at 2x it's influence range on the strategic map.

New technology:  Dice.  You start with d4 and cannot reseach higher damage weapons until you have researched the d6.

New unit:  Sidekick.  Stays with a champion at all times but gets into trouble, giving the champion more opportunities to gain XP while rescueing Sidekick.

New unit:  Bird.  Flying scout unit.  Special ability: Flip.

New magical plane of existance:  Mirror.  It's not actually a different plane because it contains the same units and cities as the "real plane" but units move backwards when "on mirror".

If the world map cannot wrap around like on a round world, the world should at least be a cube so you can enter a different side when moving off the edge.

Armies should not be able to move far from your own territory without a baggage train.

You can not summon multiple creatures of the same kind without acquiring a multi-creature license from MagicalSummons Inc. first.

There need to be ways to find and direct magma.

Aliens should be a playable race.  It worked for WoW.

Include a way to import coconuts.

Exchange all squares in the game with tetragons.  That will make the boardgamers happy.

More fantastic creatures to summon, such as poo golems (can only be summoned in cities with the Sewers improvement) or fruitcake golems.

New city enchantment:  Brake Wind.  Slows down any magical storms or hurricanes, preventing damage to the city.

Spell books made from paper or similiar materials should decay, forcing you to research your spells again.  This would prevent magic research from simply "being over" eventually.

New city improvement:  Statue of the sovereign.  Effect:  Makes you feel more important.

Musical units.  Include a drums and bugle corps in your army to increase morale.

If the sovereign is so all-powerful then I want a spell to part the ocean so that my people may cross it.

Units with axes should be able to fell trees.  Ridiculous, I know, but let's just call it magic.

Servants.  It is undignified that a sovereign would travel without anyone to carry his bags.

Sleighs and sleds for the snowy regions.  Wheeled caravans would be so many kinds of useless.

Tactical battles need a function to enable Bullet Time.

The ability to cross-breed creatures to create elephantions (elephant and scorpion) or molejays (dig through the air).

Well, it's work to be constructive, develop concepts with all the pros and cons.
Just writing down all the silly crap that crosses my mind is a lot easier.
Like that rubber toy on the wall over there. Now I want rubber city walls that make catapult stones bounce back. Isn't that obvious?

-replace all text with voice overs from Christopher Walken.

Actually, it is a very cleaned up version of what genghis khan said.  Conan (O'brian?) borrowed it.

I want sabretooth bunnymammoths to appear in the diplomacy tech to appear as a recruitable ally.

You need to research civ tech to discover vorpal carrots, their food of choice. or was that magical warfaretech....

Even better...  Kevin Pollak *DOING* his Walken.

Madness!