Granted. It starts 2 days before you die.

I wish that my legs weren't sore from playing paintball (seriously, sitting down/getting up is PAINFUL).

Granted. These people now are unable to appreciate jokes, and so look at you funny when you tell them.

I wish [insert wish here].

Granted. They then accidentally start setting each other on fire, leading to millions of lawsuits.

I wish that I didn't have school today.

Granted. Now everyone builds their own robots, never does anymore work, and so leads the human race into stagnation.

I wish that I had all the games I currently desire.

Granted. You are now indebted by $1.6 Billion in loans each year.

I wish other people would post more wishes.

Granted. It is now replaced by E-Mart, which is evil and heresy incarnate. LITERALLY.

I wish that other forum members would meander into here and post.

Granted. You don't like any of them.

I wish that I had a suit of Terminator armor and weapons, as well as the ability to operate it, and get into and out of it.

Granted. You now become a soulless automaton of the C'Tan to operate it.

I wish I could live as one of the main characters of my own SF universe.

Granted. It then snows.

I wish that I could marry and live out my life with the girl of my dreams.

That's just cruel. So in return:

Granted. She then laughs in your face, and she and her friends subsequently beat you to a bloody pulp for no reason.

I wish I could speak any language in the world.

granted the sting you to death though!!!!

i wish i could time travel at any time i wanted too

granted but then you fail  the class

i wish that i could see a rel life battleship in space

*sigh*. I should have phrased that better.

Anyways, GRANTED. Your bees then mate with you, creating a hideous Veers-bee abomination.

Granted. You time travel back, and accidentally kill yourself, thus creating a paradox that destroys the space-time continuum.

Granted. You now have calculus scheduled for every other day in your life.

Granted. It then falls on your head, permanently crippling and blinding you.

Granted. As your colony ship makes orbit and you see it for the first time, you die of a heart attack at the wonder of its glory.

I wish that I could speak every language in the universe.