foreverserenity

Join Date 06/2004

+76

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

From an email! Boy do they have some good tips!LOL!

1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3) Insist that your e mail address is: [email protected] or [email protected]

4)Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

5) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

6) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

7) In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS".

8) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

9) Dont use any punctuation

10) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

11) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

12) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

13) Sing along at the opera.

14) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

15) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

16) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

17) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

18) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"

19) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

20) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

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These are beauties, I am going to try some.

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These are beauties, I am going to try some

That's what I thought too!

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funny, I especially liked number 12. In high school, I worked at a drive-thru ice cream stand and people would ask for it to go and I always wondered if they were going to come inside my little stand and eat their ice cream there.

Another sad story I had a friend whose email really was zzwp. I asked why and she said it was for xena warrior princess. I guess she loved the show enough to name her email after it but not enough to know how to spell xena.

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cactoblasta

Join Date 04/2004

+48

Hilarious! I'm going to try some of these out.

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I read something like this but it was what to do during a final that doesn't matter....lol. I'll see if I can find it and post it.

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#21. Assemble a "posse". Go through Walmart with a cell phone on your ear shouting stock tips on the phone and occasionally motioning to your "posse" to pull an item to place in your cart. When two or three carts have been filled, leave them at the service desk and shout "I'll be RIGHT there, Mr. Spielberg" into the phone and dash out.

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Another sad story I had a friend whose email really was zzwp. I asked why and she said it was for xena warrior princess. I guess she loved the show enough to name her email after it but not enough to know how to spell xena.

Hilarious! I'm going to try some of these out.

Good! I would love to try number 19 just for the hell of it!

I read something like this but it was what to do during a final that doesn't matter....lol. I'll see if I can find it and post it.

Cool!

! This would be ridiculously funny!

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