When the monsters destroy mines/shards/settlements/outposts, it is not because they are priority targeting them, they are bumping into them in their random meandering.
If a player dares to incur the attention of a Lair, that attention should be immediate and swift reaction by the Lair to eliminate the intruding force. Whether it is a Mite Mob or a Ash Dragon, that is up to the player to decide if it is worth plopping down anywhere near it, but the consequence of doing so shouldn't be a randomly wandering mob. It should be, "If I push the wildlands, it WILL push back DIRECTLY and IMMEDIATELY."
And it really would fit into the lore of the game, the land is wild and requires the direct intervention of the Sovereign to retame the wild for the emergence of civilization. As it is right now, the Sovereign pretty much founds the first settlement and screams, "LOOOOOOOOOT RUUUUUNNNN!!!" as he drags the whole army away further and further away from the capital. And for the most part, the Capital will be safe as will the follow up settlements, even IF monster lairs are disturbed.