Ever seen the movie Big? My life has been sort of like that. I started using when I was 13 and my life after that was one long blackout, so it's as if I just woke up one morning to find myself in the body of a 32-year old man, still living in my mother's house; and when my mother saw me she screamed for a reason I couldn't understand; so I had to run from the house to New York City with my best friend, whom I'd known when I started using, where I had to get a real job to support myself. So I turned my life around, grew up, and fell in love with a professional woman; but eventually I had to tell her that I was really 13, and I wanted to go back to my old life; and I asked her to come with me, but she said no. So she dropped me off in my old neighborhood, and as I walked away from her I could feel my clothes sagging on me as I became a little boy again. I've been using ever since.