Mr. Slam (standing on roof of skyscraper): I am the greatest! You hear me world?!? No onw will ever be as high or as great as me, DAMMIT!! I am Simon Whittlebone!! I...AM....GOD!!!

(begins to lose balance) Wh-whoaa..

(falls off building) WOAAAAHHHHHHH!

Gotta love Twisted Metal 2.

*tapping on glass noise* do I need to start CPR, what's going on here?

-Cortana

"It ain't the fall I'm worried about.  It's the sudden stop at the end."

-unknown

"Bond. James Bond"

"Ventura. Ace Ventura"

Chinese Proverb: "Man who walks sideways through door will surely bangkok"

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer!

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Lois: How would you like me to make your life a living hell?
Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then.

Groucho Marx
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

Jerry Seinfield
Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters.

Ellen DeGeneres
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.

Roseanne Barr
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?


W.C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Alan Shore
"There are two things you should know about me. I am also a lawyer, I always win, and I never play fair.
Thats three things...
See? Not playing fair already"

"Prosecutor: Objection!
Alan Shore: <rebuttal>
Prosecutor: Well, firstly-
Alan Shore: Objection! Counsel cannot preface their second arguement with 'Firstly'"

And lastly:

Bill Vaughan
Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

this is the point when we start running out of quotes, I see.

The toil of all that be

helps not the primal fault

It falls into the sea

and still the sea is salt

-I forget the poet who wrote this

This is from a book I have called The Zombie Survival Guide:

"At least fifteen or twenty of them; men, women, children. We opened up at seventy, maybe eighty meters. I could see chunks of flesh basting off their bodies. Our rounds were hittting their mark! They kept coming, they just kept coming! I sighted one and let go a full burst from my BXP. I know I snaped his spine, because the man dropped like a leaf. Legs still twitching he kept crawling after me! At twenty meters, we opened up with the Vektor. Nothing! I watched bits of organ and bone blown out their backs. I watched limbs litteraly sawed off at the joints. The SS77 is the best MG ever made, 840 meters per second, 800 rounds per minute, and it wasnt doing a goddamn thing! What grenades we had only downed one of them. One! His mangled body lay motionless with a still snapping head! [Name Withheld] let go with his RPG. The damn rocket went right through its soft target and took out a rock behind it! Finaly, at five meters, we used the last bit of fuel in the flamethrower! The sons of bitches lit up like torches but just wouldnt stop! One of the grabed [Name Withheld], setting him on fire as it bit through his neck. I saw the rest of those things surround him as we took off for the jungle, a mob of burning bodies squatting down to tear another screaming human torch apart. Goddamn the devil's mother, what the hell were we supposed to do!?!"

                                                                          -SIBERIAN MERCENARY DURING THE ZAIRIAN CIVAL WAR, 1994

If you like that tell me and I can post more

Max Brooks, a quick google of "the zombie survival guide" will find it. Also if you like it his other book World War Z is good too. And in October hes publishing a graphic novel of the recorded attacks, which are like what I put up there. Ill post another soon.

"We fear no beer!"

-A sign outside Pilot's Pub

"God bless democracy! I approve of it highly but suffer from it greatly. This incidentally is not for quotation."

-George C. Marshal

"Join your voice with mine and sing victory everlasting."

 -Gravemind

"Yes I listen to thrash/speed metal while I shower.  Washing my balls with soap has never been so epic!"

-I don't remember who said this.

thats from starwars...

yes, Yoda said it

It was sarcasm. What themadmanazn said was so incredibly obvious that there could be no serious response. God, what's going on here today? It feels like we've had a joint invasion from the Blizzard and 4chan forums.