Lol, thanks folks, i knew it was a simple fix, i had a feeling it might be adventurers of the opposite sex, though i could've swore i looked to see if there was an option, i'll have to try it.
I'm sure there is a post on this, but i can't seem to find it. How exactly does one get married to create a children? I thought you had to marry a person from another faction, but that doesn't work. Everytime i encounter another faction controlled by the comp, they have a ton of children. Any help would be nice, if its a researchable thing, i haven't found it, been in games up to 1000 turns or so.