TheStephenColbert

America, I again must protest whenever I think of cavalry, Calgary amusingly comes to mind. Then I think of Canadia, with their glaciers in Toronto, and the freezing temperatures of Ottawa all year round and well it infuriates me. How come they don't get this "Global Warming"? But I am getting off subject. To those who have pointed out my mistake, I applaud you. But only a little. I want to know what you have done for my Operation Humble Bears. Have you erased Goldie Locks fro

*Waits for applause to stop* Thank you, thank you! Ameri- I mean "Lord" Reliant, thank you for admitting to the world that I am brillant. And I accept your karma and will add it to already impresive list of awards. Including my emmy's and we can not forget the Peabody. But as far as true idenities go, I have no idea what you are talking about. I am Stephen Colbert, and now that I have said that, we know it to be true. And as long as there are forces of Evil who want bear calvery... I

Hello America, I think it is finally time that truthiness prevails here. Bear calvery just does not make sense. First of all the bears would devour their riders as fast as you can say... manwich. Secondly bears are the Number One threat to America. I call for a ban on all bears in all video games. If you want them... then you can go to canada. And remember to buy A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All Album on iTunes. Thank you America and Goodnight!