Gilford Tuttle

Reply to when I make mean comments, I am joking in Personal Relationships JoeUser Forums

FOREVER SERENITY I am sorry that I hurt anyones feelings for no damn good reason at all. That is bad social karma, indeed. Hopefully, I can make it up to you with a few laughs.

Reply to when I make mean comments, I am joking in Personal Relationships JoeUser Forums

Can you define trolling? Is that kind of like 'flaming?' Yes, I think that is wrong. In this case, there were a series of comments thinkin that they were being singled out by the entries criticisms, and I kind of made fun of the whole thing by writing another one. I was tired, it was late, I was smoking and joking... and I learn from stuff like this. I hate losing control of my words. I am a boof.

Reply to when I make mean comments, I am joking in Personal Relationships JoeUser Forums

The Andy Kaufman critic is well taken. Thank you... yea, that explains why I myself didn't like him after the wrestling started.

Reply to when I make mean comments, I am joking in Personal Relationships JoeUser Forums

Thank you. Your comment echo's one of my best friends, who says I put 'Boogers' in my writing. He said, "I'll be reading along and there is all this nice prose, and then, a fucking booger." I have always been drawn to very dark material. I like to write about serious problems, and spent most of my writing career trying to write 'artistic, kind of philosophically relevent stuff'. This could make writing very heavy for me. Like studying the cia

Reply to People just write crap and you're supposed to read it? in Blogging JoeUser Forums

Actually, let me make totally clear, I was kidding. everyone was making like theirs was the one... and I kind of went with that. I make an ass of myself on a nearly daily basis... sorry you were one to see the crack. I once wrote a criticism of someones writing, and was amazed that all these people I really liked thought I was dissing them. My character I write in is johnny pain, and he is a kind of mean serial killer with secretly liberal views. Sorry he messed with your head. I won't do

when I make mean comments, I am joking in Personal Relationships JoeUser Forums

I sometimes make comments in a johnny pain mode and make an ass of myself. Nothing new about that. Last night I found someone who was criticizing an anonymous site, and everyone was leaving comments worried it was them... so I made one too, and got about the same reaction as Andy Kaufman wrestling chicks (which i, boof I am, thought was stupid at the time and have

Reply to People just write crap and you're supposed to read it? in Blogging JoeUser Forums

I'm sorry. I was kind of kidding...

Reply to A RECIPE FOR ROAST ELF in Humor JoeUser Forums

If by evil you mean killing stuff, then think about the meat in your fridge, and how it got there... I used to work in a slaughter house, shoving that old electric wand up into their heads... got fired for having loud, noisy orgasms when the pigs shuddered and dropped dead on the slaughterhouse floor; I mean, not all the time... maybe eight times a day? And hardly ever with cows, unless they were really, really hot (I ain't no friggin pervert, alri

Reply to People just write crap and you're supposed to read it? in Blogging JoeUser Forums

You are referring to The Church Of The Bleeding Toe. Sorry you are too stupid to get it, but there is nothing I can do about that. Am I write, or just pissing you off for no reason? Couldn't care less.

Reply to Sure, I wrote a recipe for roasting elves... in Humor JoeUser Forums

Yes, it should be " or quit bitching AND" ..Thank you for pointing that out. The assholes are a delight by the way... whoa, they are really turning me on... better go before I end up making the keys all sticky again.

Sure, I wrote a recipe for roasting elves... in Humor JoeUser Forums

Sure, I wrote a recipe for roasting elves... Don't like it, suck my hairy bubbas.. My name is Skeeter and I am proud as all hell of showing my ass-crack!! I watch Blue Collar TV and recognize myself as the New White Trash. Hell, I got it tattooed on my goddamn arm the last time I was in prison!! Well, at least the White Trash part. In letters f

Reply to A RECIPE FOR ROAST ELF in Humor JoeUser Forums

Yea, sure... boiling almost anything alive is good fun. I like to record their screams and play them over and over and over and... and then mix them in with other screams I have recorded into a symphony of screams that I play while cutting up cows and pigs and old dogs and such out in our trailer park, where I am kind of the unofficial butcher for our block. Everybody brings down dead cats and road kill and stuff -- anything you can deep fry up with t

Reply to My Point Total Has Fallen Some 4000 Pts in 2 Weeks in Blogging JoeUser Forums

I am really sorry to hear someone is messing with you. I had a lot of problems with my blog on another site (and here, but I deserved the flack). I do know that it is easy for bitter people to try to express themselves on the web, but we just have to kind of ignore them, like you would a maniac standing on a corner yelling obsenities... you just can't get mad at those guys and take it personally. If you were not the target, someone else would be.

Reply to dat old post modern malaise in Writing JoeUser Forums

Yes, indeed. Quite a good point. This could easily be the most inciteful message conceivablee. I will keep this profound text in the forefront of my mind from this day until my last.

Reply to A RECIPE FOR ROAST ELF in Humor JoeUser Forums

Yes, I have sinned against the elves... I think this is why santa skipped my house. Well, that or our reputation for sitting on the roof of our trailer and firing shotguns at passing planes... or sleighs, should we see one. You can bet we discussed shooting down the red one this christmas eve as we sat up there drinking beers and blasting to shreds any and all passing birds, cats, squirrels -- you know, anything that makes a good stew. T

I, Devil in Writing JoeUser Forums

Frips lays still, a pillow over his face, pretending he is asleep... a palm rubs softly over the head of his dick, and then a soft breath and a mouth took him in... The world dissolves into his crotch, the pressure beneath his balls as the come strains to spew... he trembles and shakes as his dick begins convulsing, spewing out his lust. Then he's embarrassed

A RECIPE FOR ROAST ELF in Humor JoeUser Forums

This is the time of year when people have to decide what to cook for the holidays. Like most, I will turn to the elf. However, I will not be making Cajun Spiced Elf Eyes, or any of the other 'trendy' new recipes. No, I find the traditional holiday Roast Elf to be best. I like to take kite string and truss them up into a ball before baking. This

Us Apes Xenophobic in Current Events JoeUser Forums

Michael Richards sure added an unfortunate line to his obituary this year. I watched the footage of him screaming NIGGER at his audience in LA and let out a loud, anguished groan. I saw him once, here in Chicago shooting a film, from a little crowd watching the night time event. He was on Friday's at the time and kind of an underground hit. Michael came over to the c

dat old post modern malaise in Writing JoeUser Forums

What the hell is going on with my stories? Why have they become more and more comedic and absurd, after years of writing closer to the day to day and trying to develop something of an American Realist* approach? I hope that I am moving toward something interesting. We'll see. Today I am going to explain the geneses of my sub-text, and provide a road map for the ne

Reply to Recipe For Roast Elf in Humor JoeUser Forums

I like em bloody and almost raw. Just warmed inside. Like my dear momma used to say, "What's the use of eating an elf's liver if the blood doesn't squirt?"

Reply to Recipe For Roast Elf in Humor JoeUser Forums

ho... that made me laugh.

Recipe For Roast Elf in Humor JoeUser Forums

> I find the traditional holiday roast elf to be best. I like to take kite string and truss them up into a ball before baking. This requires standing there and breaking all their bones with a hammer (the faint of heart can kill them first), but it is worth the trouble and the blood clean up to get a nice display of golden brown elf on the table. I cook them at

spits and muggilapuddy in Current Events JoeUser Forums

Spits and Migulapuddy tooled through the back alleys of Chicago's shady Westside, part of a gypsy caravan of beat up pick ups cruising from dumpster to dumpster, seeking out whatever they thought they could sell; mostly scrap metal, but they found all kinds of stuff: TV's, dishes, clothes... They sold everything to an Arab guy, who owned a sto

the grand gesture in Writing JoeUser Forums

The weight of Shanky's memories grew slowly over the years, imperceptibly becoming a fantastic boulder that made him slump his shoulders and walk half bent over. Inside the cold, unyielding granite were traces of all the lovers and pets and parents and friends who'd passed away; their obituaries a ticket into the virtual world where they played through endle

santa recorded making anti-semitic remarks in Misc JoeUser Forums

Reports are everywhere that a rascist rant by Santa was secretly recorded on a phone and is now on Utube. The man in red was heard to say, among other rascist slurs, "Those jew kids... they don't need me, I don't fucking need them. Kike bastards, always out there pretending there was a Hitler. I don't see any proof here in this bar tonight to some damn Hitler. The