Banned for penning the apple saga for the disinterested.

banned for zero interest loans

Banned for never a borrower or lender be.

Banned for delinquent dues to Local 34677654 of the Local Chapter of Piratical Wannabes. Pay up.

banned for trying to unionize the pirates

Banned for mocking the Skull and Crossbones. How un Piratical of you. Take two cookies and go to your room.

Banned fer I be tha cap'n 'round 'ere, an I says who go to 'e's room, but wivout cookies n' milk.... nor rum.

banned for rumming around without being whiskeyed away

banned for rumming around without being whiskeyed away

Banner fer whiskey n' stuff wot pirates 'll drink when tha rum runs out

banned for running out on the rum

Banned for screwdrivers, mint tulip, bloody marys, black and white russians, Long Island tea. Ever try that one. BAM! Best be sittin' down. That way you won't have that far to fall.

Banned fer falling fer tea.

banned for not throwing your tea in the harbor and kowtowing to royalty 

Banned for jostling the crown jewels out of season.

Banned for my crown jewels haven't been handled in ages.  

banned for being so aged

Banned fer losing yer sausage in a whirlwind on a firebrand hurricane

banned for being tossed whither and yawn

Banned for flubbin' the dub in between the rub in the tub.

Banned for going to sea in a tub to get some rub-a-dub-dub from the galley maid, who in her spare time is a mermaid with come hither eyes and other tempting bits.

banned for clamming up about your adventures with oysters

Banned for when you seafood and eat it.

banned for mocking my diet

Banned for fish food undressed.