There is the question if attacking is too easy vs defending. If defender has not enough advantage, then AI should use steamrolling too. That makes for a dull game.
The typical situation is that you have two cities you need to defend. If the attacker can mass his forces against one of the cities, and choose the city to attack at will, then defending both cities needs 2x the army the attacker has. So, the defender should either have enough time to see the attack coming and mass his forces against the attack based on that, or defending the city should have some advantage. Halving movement speed in enemy territory could work here. A leader who can lessen this effect would be really valuable. The overwhelming maneuver speed was one of the key reasons why Genghis Khan and Napoleon were so successful in their military operations.
In middle ages the attack/defense balance was somewhat correct: a small force in a castle could defend against a much larger force for some time. This gives the defender enough time to mass a counter attack force and break the siege of the castle. If the defender doesn't do that, the siege will slowly drain the defenders supplies and thus the attacker can still conquer cities easily enough, it just takes some time.
In Civilization the balance is implemented through attack/defend values, and strong fortify and city wall effects. This made the attack/defense balance interesting. Due to how tactical battles work, it seems hard to implement a similar balance mechanism in FE.
Finding a good balance to the attack/defend ration is the key IMHO. If attacking is too easy, then the AI has little hope defending his cities. And if that is the case, attack is the best defense. This will mean short and chaotic games. On the other hand, if attacking is too hard, then that makes for a dull game, too. If you always need to siege a city for 10 turns before conquest, it will be boring...
Of course it is possible the balance is correct, and the problem is in fact the AI not building big enough army. Without playing the game it is hard to know. So, the logical conclusion is that you must give me access to the game so that we can find out what the real problem is. Right? 