A Punny Thing Happened on My Way Through the Forums...

Hit me with your best shot... :)

http://go.to/puns
from JoeUser Forums
In Italian, 'puntiglio' means "a fine point," hence a verbal quibble, and is most likely the source of the English "punctilious."

A pun is defined by Webster as "the humorous use of a word, or of words which are formed or sounded alike but have different meanings, in such a way as to play on two or more of the possible applications; a play on words."


From www.punoftheday.com: Link


Why do people groan when a pun is told? A pun is often considered obvious humor, since the person relating it is merely balancing the humor in it on a twist of a word's meaning or sound. Children love this type of obvious humor and can laugh at it without reproachments. Adults, on the other hand, are more likely to have a twinge of envy, and "why didn't I think of that?". It is this envy in adults that subconciously causes them to groan upon hearing a pun. As time goes on, it can only be hoped that we adults will eventually learn to react more like a child and less like a groan-up!
End of quote


Come on, kids... show me whatcha got! You know what they say: "seven days without a pun makes one weak"... so what's your favorite punny phrase?
humor
16,904 views 15 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
My friend said, "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
"For me, the effect would be the same," I replied.
(mille grazie per questo soggetto)
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
If you don't ride a camel, you ain't Shiite.
Elemental: Reforged
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
LOL@both...

(mille grazie per questo soggetto)



Siete molto benvenuti - is that right?
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top

HC, Puns are spur of the moment.  For a situtation, and then a loud groan!  I dont have a favorite, just the latest of the day.

I like both of the ones given, but wait for the latest!  And they come when you least expect them.  And that is what makes them great groaners!

Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Siete molto benvenuti."

yes, thanks. You polyglot that
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Okay, HC here are 10 and they're not gonna be pretty.

1. The bicycle salesman had broken his ankle and was thus unable to pedal his wares.

2. Can a shoebox? No but a tin can.

3. The shop assistant asked whether I wanted it measured in pounds or kilos, I told him either weigh would do.

4. I wanted to grow a banana tree in Alaska, but my friend said I might have trouble with the climate. So I told him,"I don't want to climb it, I just want to grow it."

5. A cheap eye surgeon is probably cutting corneas.

6. A man walked into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran wrap. The psychiatrist said,"I can clearly see you're nuts".

7. There's a new TV show about origami. But it's paper view.

8. The arresting officer said to the fruit seller:"Don't make this harder than it needs to be, just kumqwat-ly."

9. I had a very nervous guitar playing friend. He was always fretting around.

10.I couldn't afford to buy cotton so I decided to be abrasive, and steel wool.

Well I warned you. I wrote 10 different puns, hoping at least one of the puns would make you laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Puns are spur of the moment.


Or as Archie Bunker said, "The sperm of the moment."
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
A man walked into a doctor's surgery with a steering wheel down his trousers.
'That looks uncomfortable!' exclaimed the doctor.
'Yeah,' said the man, 'It's driving me nuts.'
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
A grizzly was reading these puns over my shoulder and that bears repeating.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
7. There's a new TV show about origami. But it's paper view.

... now that one just sounds programmed.


3. The shop assistant asked whether I wanted it measured in pounds or kilos, I told him either weigh would do.

Heavy, dude!


9. I had a very nervous guitar playing friend. He was always fretting around.

You're not just stringing us along, are ya?

Ok... I'm having fun now



Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
A grizzly was reading these puns over my shoulder and that bears repeating.

Bad... beary bad.
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
You malign my ursine design, then fine, I'll just rhyme.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Here's a long one.

A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. He puts it on the bar, and the barkeep says "Wow, that's a cute little lizard you've got."
"Yeah, I call him Tiny."
"Tiny, why Tiny?"
"Because.......he's my-newt."
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her read.
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. He puts it on the bar, and the barkeep says "Wow, that's a cute little lizard you've got."
"Yeah, I call him Tiny."
"Tiny, why Tiny?"
"Because.......he's my-newt."

*groan* This one comes up short. LOL.