No!!! For the last time, I didn't go to Iraq!
ARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
Here's one of my favorite parts of being a soldier. You're out somewhere....in a store, at the movie theater, visiting relatives, what have you, when someone finds out you're in the Army, and asks the Question.
"So, like where were you in Iraq?"
"I didn't go to Iraq."
"Oh.......(three seconds of dead silence.....always three.) Afghanistan then?"
"Nope"
"You about to deploy?"
"Nope. Everybody but me in my unit went, and I called in sick and or hid behind a dumpster while everyone else got on the plane, then took potshots at the plane as it went down the runway." (well, usually I only say nope to this part too.)
"Huh........"(three to five seconds of dead air this time........then the Look.)
The Look. Specificaly the look that says, you sorry REMFLink, who the hell did you blow to get out of going over there? Sometimes they even go so far as to say that to your face. Bingo. You're in the army and haven't gone to Iraq? Congratulations, you just went from zero to scumbag in 2.4 seconds.
Then you try to give the lame sounding but true explanation that only about a third of your company went, that people were fighting over who got to go, and that while you would go if sent, you didn't feel like actually arguing for the honor of being shot at for 30 grand a year, when I'm getting out, and if I wanted could go there and get shot at as a civilian for 5 times the money.
It does no good. You could have cured AIDS, cancer, and the common cold, but although half the time they're civilians, and probably didn't go themselves, they know someone who did, and aren't about to give you the time of day after that. They don't usually get rude, just kind of chilly.
Screw it. I can't talk about much of it, but I did my part towards the war, I spent mad hours in a dark, frozen windowless hellhole and I almost died. True, it was pneumonia I caught from the a/c, and not homemade explosives, but death only comes one to a customer and doesn't really care how you got there. Frankly, next time I'd rather get shot, thank you very much.
There. All my angst from being looked at as some kind of scumbag wonderboy by random strangers for not being sent over there down on virtual paper. Not insecurity. nope. none here.
I also understand much better now why my grandaddy never talked about his WWII experiences. He was drafted, and made a tail gunner in a bomber. Good stuff for stories, right? Nope. He was billeted on the seafront hotels of Florida, and they flew around the Keys looking for German subs......which they didn't find. He did shoot at a seagull once.
Sigh........I sure hope I see a seagull in the next couple of weeks.
Yours truly,
NBS
"So, like where were you in Iraq?"
"I didn't go to Iraq."
"Oh.......(three seconds of dead silence.....always three.) Afghanistan then?"
"Nope"
"You about to deploy?"
"Nope. Everybody but me in my unit went, and I called in sick and or hid behind a dumpster while everyone else got on the plane, then took potshots at the plane as it went down the runway." (well, usually I only say nope to this part too.)
"Huh........"(three to five seconds of dead air this time........then the Look.)
The Look. Specificaly the look that says, you sorry REMFLink, who the hell did you blow to get out of going over there? Sometimes they even go so far as to say that to your face. Bingo. You're in the army and haven't gone to Iraq? Congratulations, you just went from zero to scumbag in 2.4 seconds.
Then you try to give the lame sounding but true explanation that only about a third of your company went, that people were fighting over who got to go, and that while you would go if sent, you didn't feel like actually arguing for the honor of being shot at for 30 grand a year, when I'm getting out, and if I wanted could go there and get shot at as a civilian for 5 times the money.
It does no good. You could have cured AIDS, cancer, and the common cold, but although half the time they're civilians, and probably didn't go themselves, they know someone who did, and aren't about to give you the time of day after that. They don't usually get rude, just kind of chilly.
Screw it. I can't talk about much of it, but I did my part towards the war, I spent mad hours in a dark, frozen windowless hellhole and I almost died. True, it was pneumonia I caught from the a/c, and not homemade explosives, but death only comes one to a customer and doesn't really care how you got there. Frankly, next time I'd rather get shot, thank you very much.
There. All my angst from being looked at as some kind of scumbag wonderboy by random strangers for not being sent over there down on virtual paper. Not insecurity. nope. none here.
I also understand much better now why my grandaddy never talked about his WWII experiences. He was drafted, and made a tail gunner in a bomber. Good stuff for stories, right? Nope. He was billeted on the seafront hotels of Florida, and they flew around the Keys looking for German subs......which they didn't find. He did shoot at a seagull once.
Sigh........I sure hope I see a seagull in the next couple of weeks.
Yours truly,
NBS
