Watch out USA

I should be on your 'terror' watch list.

Well, I did it - I have applied for a job at Veil ski resort in Colorado. Provided I get my visa and the consulate interview goes well, I will be in the land of stars and stipes by mid November working/snowboarding/partying until the end of the season in April. I wonder what kind of questions they will ask me at the US consulate. I am sure I can bluff a favourable opinion towards the USA! I am not a terrorist, but I certainly am a terror!

I must digress, I am sure the USA has heaps of cool people, and that I will have the time of my life - if I didn't think this, I wouldn't have submitted my application! I have been to the snow here in Victoria twice this season already, and whilst it is amazingly fun, we don't have terribly great snow here - Australia is notorious for its beaches and desert, and with good reason. The snow here is very hard and icy, not powder like at all, so when you stack - it's friendlier than concrete, but you haven't crashed until you crash in powder!

A couple of my best friends just returned from the USA, and they said the people were remarkably rude, and exceptionally obese, I suppose this is something I will have to deal with, although I am sure that there won't be too many fatties on the slopes, because skiing and boarding is exceptionally hard work. If I do come across any, I will be sure to commend them on their strenuous physical activity, and purchase them a candy bar.

I plan on being infamous after approximately one week. I don't know how many of you have experienced the snow at any mountain in the world, but there are no parties like snow parties. Everyone is out for a good time, and the vibe is incredibly positive. Fun and excitement are omnipresent and synonymous when it comes to the snow, and let me tell you that I will be working it hard at night, as well as the daylight hours! I have not once experienced a hangover when boarding, so I should be able to back it up night after night.

I am not getting any younger, and there is no time like the present. I love my job here in Melbourne, but I have been doing it since I finished school, so I need somewhat of a sabbatical before I come back and expand on my blossoming career. Stepping out of my comfort zone will not only be a fun and exciting adventure, but a glorious challenge for me to develop as a person – and I am relishing the prospect.

I find out if I get the job in September, when they know if they can sponsor my Visa. I am 99% confident, because my working background and experience here will prove invaluable for the particular position I have applied for. The idea of working 4/5 days a week on a mountain with excellent snow and hot athletic women who love Aussie guys has me chomping at the bit… watch out USA, here I come. I will create a whole new definition for the war on terror!
9,375 views 26 replies
Reply #1 Top
I am not a terrorist, but I certainly am a terror!


Piece of advice #1 -- don't use that line at the consulate!!!

I will create a whole new definition for the war on terror!


Yeah... you might want to skip that line too....


A couple of my best friends just returned from the USA, and they said the people were remarkably rude, and exceptionally obese,


Well, if they'd said they were your friends, I'd have been nicer. Sheesh.

Seriously, though, where were they? A Louisiana bayou Sumo training camp? The buffet line at Cinderella's Castle in the Magic Kingdom? Trying to get tickets to "Thunder from Down Under" while a Weight Watchers retreat was in town? (Nothing like horny middle-aged women in expandable pants to ruin your day.)
Reply #2 Top
I hope you succeed in you endevor to come to america, you will find that we are a kind and generous people, contrary to world opinion.

Colorado is one gorgous stae muggaz { I happen to know a few hotties there} When you arrive let me know.

Reply #3 Top
Muggaz, Colorado is beautful and the people aren't that bad. Vail is riddled with the 'haves' of American society during the winter months, so I'm sure that you'll find some wealthy hotties there.

A word of advice though: if you come here expecting to find fat obnoxious Yanks, then that's more than likely the kind of people that will gravitate towards you. Come here with an open mind and....you'll see that we're really not that bad at all.

Let me know when you get 'in country'; I'd like to visit with you if you have the time/funds to get to my neck of the woods.
Reply #4 Top
I have applied for a job at Veil ski resort in Colorado


i truly hope this isn't one of those counterfeit ski places that's really a convent or a madrasa where they sell bolivia watches for $10.
Reply #5 Top
Piece of advice #1 -- don't use that line at the consulate!!!


welcome back gene!
Reply #6 Top
Hey, Colorado's only about 10 hours from me, so if you get bored and need a friend...or better yet, if you have extra tickets to give away....

Your new best friend,

-A.
Reply #7 Top
dont worry Gene... I will personify the typical American loving War on Terror ally! the folks at the consolate will love to get me on board! yet another propoganda success for the close relationship our countries share!

My friends aren't rude, so i dont really know, but i suppose you only get what you put out, and i plan on being excessively nice to any preson i meet when OS - i dont think rudeness will be a problem.

It would be a good laugh if i were abale to catch up with a few JU's when i was in America... i seriously can't wait though, and if people are half as friendly as you mob, i shall be alright!
Reply #8 Top
There probaly are fat and rude Americans. They definitely do have a high level of obesity, and whenever you travel overseas, well let's just say you always know when there's an American within 100 metres and you know exactly what they think of everything they see. But I'm sure there are also plenty of Yank tourists I don't notice. Actually, I had a great time going to Carcasonne with a busload of Septic Tanks.

It's like anywhere, you get your good ones and your bad ones.
Reply #9 Top
This may be the greatest thing in the world for you, Mugz. Your bubble is gonna get totally popped. Read: Little fish, ocean-sized pond. Humility will be your prize....remember who told you.
Reply #10 Top
OR - in spite of appearances and a lot of bravado, the only thing I know, is that I know nothing

I am counting on it being the greatest thing in the world...

TALLY HO!
Reply #11 Top
Colorado has a pretty good mountain biking community. Too bad you'll be there only in winter. Oh and watch out for any displaced Utah residents. They will morminize you bigtime. lol If you like vodka and peanut butter, stop in and we'll scheme!
Reply #12 Top
Jolly good show indeed Muggaz.

It is good that a young and impressionable chap such as yourself will be exposed to the strong capitalist values that are essential for a successful life. I hope that you will wear one of my 'Make Peasants History' T-Shirts whilst you are there to fit in with our American friends.

www.cafepress.com/sirpetermaxwell

Reply #13 Top
pardon the pun, but God knows i need a good mormonising! I think the almighty one is out of luck though - at least in this lifetime! Somehow i don't think too many mormons will frequent the establishments I will patronise!

Sir Peter, whilst capitalistic gains will be an added bonus to this lavish adventure, I am looking forward to the, shall we say mountaineering!
Reply #14 Top
Good luck Muggaz...
Reply #15 Top
If you make any side trips to the East Coast while you're here, (like New York or DC) let me know, we could hook up for a brew or three.


He will most definitely be coming to DC -- I haven't given him a choice in the matter, right, Muggaz? I'll keep you posted LW--a happy hour sounds like fun!
Reply #16 Top
Shades knows I have to go to DC, because it has awesome ratios I am told - and I also have some defacatin' to do!!! JUST JOKING!!! hehe... we will see what happens...
Reply #17 Top
i'd like to bid for the right to produce and distribute 'mr muggaz goes to washington'.
Reply #18 Top
Shades knows I have to go to DC, because it has awesome ratios I am told


awesome for you, maybe. Kind of blows for us ladies.
Reply #19 Top
i'd like to bid for the right to produce and distribute 'mr muggaz goes to washington'.


Now would that be rated "M" for "mature"? 'Cause you might get some Hillary C. on your ass if it isn't....

-A, who would definitely rent it.
Reply #20 Top
Now would that be rated "M" for "mature"?


m for muggaz...nc-21 for the directors cut.
Reply #21 Top
Ok, granted Kingbee - i just want 10% of proceeds, and that includes merchandise.

I am going to need that money with all the paternity suits! I ask them who was their daddy, i don't mean it literally!

dear lord. I am naughty.
Reply #22 Top
all the paternity suits


whatta brilliant idea. everyone promotes their films with teeshirts and it's so passe.

designing a complete suit that reflects the spirit of a film--and a documentary of sorts to boot--very well may pay off with a palm d'hair in cannnes.
Reply #23 Top
very well may pay off with a palm d'hair in cannnes


And then we can film the Muggaz goes to Cannes sequel!

Kingbee, you are officially my agent.
Reply #24 Top
Kingbee, you are officially my agent.


I am officially frightened--but I will be there with A. on opening night!
Reply #25 Top
I got the job today my friends!

all going to plan, i will be workin' in the USA by November 19th!

TALLY HO!