Elder Bruce C. Hafen
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Tuesday, February 8, 2005
He presided at our stake conference on Sunday, and as he was the last speaker, I couldn't wait to hear what he had to say.
He opened by acknowledging that today is Super Bowl Sunday, and as we are about half a day ahead of USA time zones, we have the advantage of going to church AND catching the Super Bowl live on TV. Without even breaking the sabbath day by doing so. Funny! I never thought of that, as, gratefully, I married a man who couldn't give a rat's arse about televised sports. Thank goodness.
My dad was a TV sports fiend. When baseball or football wasn't on TV, you better believe that he found ANYTHING sports related and glued his bum to the couch all weekend to watch it. Golf. Bowling. Billiards. Equestrian racing. AAAGGGGHHH! And as a daddy's girl, I wanted to spend time with him, so I'd sit along with him and bear as much of it as I could. To a point.
I digress...
So Elder Hafen pointed out that interesting fact. That the Super Bowl occurs for us at midnight Sunday / Monday morning. So he used that to segue into a little football humor. In his best Howard Cosell voice (which was pretty convincing) he pretends to conduct an interview with a football star. " 'So, you've played in stadiums all over the United States. You've played on the East Coast, the West Coast, and everywhere in between. You've played on high school fields, you've played in major venues... Now tell me, what do you prefer, Grass or Astro Turf?' The football star hadn't ever thought of that, and looked perplexed for a moment, then replied, 'Well, I dunno, I've never smoked Astro Turf.' "
Gasp! Elder Hafen! Everyone burst into laughter. Then all too soon he eased into the real content of his talk, but it took me awhile to pay attention to him again, because I kept running the joke over in my mind. That was so unexpected! And I'm the kind of person who can't stop laughing long after a joke has been told. I mean, LONG afterwards. Thankfully I wasn't quick to humor that day, but I did have a hard time getting back with the program for awhile.
We learned a lot about him in his talk. Whenever we have a General Authority presiding in the ward, they're quick to remember that we're a military ward, so they often incorporate an old military story into their talk. Well Elder Hafen told us that he served in the Utah National Guard back in the day. And he was stationed at Fort Ord, and went to the Seaside Ward. Hey!!! Dana, remember, that was our old stomping ground.
OK, one funny thing he said was, "There are three ways to get a job done: The right way, the wrong way, and the ARMY way." HA! That is so true!! The Army way of doing things doesn't always make a whole lot of sense. He told us that he was issued a pair of BROWN combat boots, and the directive was, "These boots will be black and shiny by the end of the day!" Yeah, that sounds so Army.
Now, I'm sure that Elder Bruce C. Hafen said something gospel-related during his talk, and I was really looking forward to what enlightening words he had for us, but I honestly can remember only the non-gospel related stuff above. Sigh.
Maybe it's because I waited until Tuesday to write this down, but that speaks volumes about the things my mind chooses to retain, dun' it?
posted by Angela Marie at 7:48 PM
He presided at our stake conference on Sunday, and as he was the last speaker, I couldn't wait to hear what he had to say.
He opened by acknowledging that today is Super Bowl Sunday, and as we are about half a day ahead of USA time zones, we have the advantage of going to church AND catching the Super Bowl live on TV. Without even breaking the sabbath day by doing so. Funny! I never thought of that, as, gratefully, I married a man who couldn't give a rat's arse about televised sports. Thank goodness.
My dad was a TV sports fiend. When baseball or football wasn't on TV, you better believe that he found ANYTHING sports related and glued his bum to the couch all weekend to watch it. Golf. Bowling. Billiards. Equestrian racing. AAAGGGGHHH! And as a daddy's girl, I wanted to spend time with him, so I'd sit along with him and bear as much of it as I could. To a point.
I digress...
So Elder Hafen pointed out that interesting fact. That the Super Bowl occurs for us at midnight Sunday / Monday morning. So he used that to segue into a little football humor. In his best Howard Cosell voice (which was pretty convincing) he pretends to conduct an interview with a football star. " 'So, you've played in stadiums all over the United States. You've played on the East Coast, the West Coast, and everywhere in between. You've played on high school fields, you've played in major venues... Now tell me, what do you prefer, Grass or Astro Turf?' The football star hadn't ever thought of that, and looked perplexed for a moment, then replied, 'Well, I dunno, I've never smoked Astro Turf.' "
Gasp! Elder Hafen! Everyone burst into laughter. Then all too soon he eased into the real content of his talk, but it took me awhile to pay attention to him again, because I kept running the joke over in my mind. That was so unexpected! And I'm the kind of person who can't stop laughing long after a joke has been told. I mean, LONG afterwards. Thankfully I wasn't quick to humor that day, but I did have a hard time getting back with the program for awhile.
We learned a lot about him in his talk. Whenever we have a General Authority presiding in the ward, they're quick to remember that we're a military ward, so they often incorporate an old military story into their talk. Well Elder Hafen told us that he served in the Utah National Guard back in the day. And he was stationed at Fort Ord, and went to the Seaside Ward. Hey!!! Dana, remember, that was our old stomping ground.
OK, one funny thing he said was, "There are three ways to get a job done: The right way, the wrong way, and the ARMY way." HA! That is so true!! The Army way of doing things doesn't always make a whole lot of sense. He told us that he was issued a pair of BROWN combat boots, and the directive was, "These boots will be black and shiny by the end of the day!" Yeah, that sounds so Army.
Now, I'm sure that Elder Bruce C. Hafen said something gospel-related during his talk, and I was really looking forward to what enlightening words he had for us, but I honestly can remember only the non-gospel related stuff above. Sigh.
Maybe it's because I waited until Tuesday to write this down, but that speaks volumes about the things my mind chooses to retain, dun' it? posted by Angela Marie at 7:48 PM