What did the camera in the bucket see?
Madam charcoala takin a wee.

You can use it.
The barbeques are in aisle two.

There once was a man from Nantucket
who kept what was left of his brain in a bucket.
He liked to eat scrapple and would slice it up
with a scapple.
One day he mistook his brain for an apple
and sliced it up with his scapple.
Now he's selling what's left in a raffle.

The chain on the plane keeps it mainly on the terrain.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with Mel Gibson.

Click your heels together 3 times and repeat after me,
Stupid and happy
Stupid and happy
Stupid and happy

We ran out of money in 1791,
I'm not worried about it.

Do you know how those girls go that didn't make it back stage?

You're at a dance place and you genuinely ask her boy friend
if he knows anyone who is looking for a room to rent.
They leave and she comes back in 20 minutes alone.
You take her home and never get married.

By the way, I met your wife today Tim.

Don't worry they're not all like that.
Some women have no interest in sex,
they just fake it for money.
They even lie on the survey.
By the way, I turned her down Tim.

If you built a transporter that moved all the information
that is you to another location,
would it be you?
No, it has all ready been done and they call them twins.

Did Hitler practice tough love?

What would you rather have?
BS spewing from your TV or a tomato.

Love,
Sometimes it hurts and
sometimes it hurts and lasts.

Can a human being survive with out being stupid?
No.

I am running dangerously low on stupid. 

Stupidity is stored in two refrigerator units.
Don't use to much stupidity at any one time
or you could run out.
You need to keep a large supply at all times
because your survival depends on stupidity.

They give you study after study and tell you
all the things that are shortening your life.
They are lying and ripping you off.
I will now give you the real top two things that are killing you.

The number one killer is your JOB.
Your JOB is killing you faster than anything else
by a huge margin.

The number two killer is "people making retarded decisions
that affect your life and forcing them on you."

You quit smoking and now your sucking on something else.
Now your foot hurts,
connect the dots Einstein.
You can't fix anything without breaking
something else.
Now your going to take something for your foot
and break something else Einstein.

One after noon Jed wanted a snack so he tried something new.
Jed had one yogurt and Jed felt better and even Jed's stomach
felt better.So Jed started eating one yogurt a day and he
felt better and his stomach felt better.
Then one day Jed's ear started ringing fairly loud.
Jed stopped eating yogurt and his ear stopped ringing.
A week later Jed started eating yogurt again and the next day
his ear started ringing.Then Jed stopped eating yogurt
and his ear stopped ringing.He didn't feel as good and neither
did his stomach but his ear wasn't ringing.
If Jed couldn't connect the dots his ear would still be ringing loud.

Facebook
Myspace
Myspace
Facebook
Facebook
Myspace
Mybook
Spacebook
Myface
Facespace
Spaceface
Faceblock
Facehead
Headface
Blockhead
My Blockhead
My blockface
My Faceblock space
Space blockface
My Space bookface

How intelligent are animals?
Animals won't jump through a hoop
if you don't reward them.

I didn't know Time was
a child porn mag.

Humans have been smoking tobacco for 18000 years maybe more.
Humans have evolved genetically with tobacco.
Humans have not been breathing radiator fluid mixed
with nicotine.

We had to get rid of the nuclear waste somewhere.
Don't worry it's perfectly safe.

Time should do a cover of someone taking a dump
and call it Scat Time.

Try the potato salad if you can't eat yogurt.