Savage you were right.
"When the keys hit the floor"

The power nap.
Lay on the bed with your car keys in your hand
and your hand over the side of the bed.
"When the keys hit the floor"
You will be awake and ready to go again.

We will now build a picture frame.
The thickness of the frame is 1 inch.
The width of the top, bottom and side parts will be 3 inches.
The height of the finished frame will be 30 inches.
The width of the finished frame will be 4 inches.
Mathematically this frame is impossible to build.
The smallest width we can obtain with our parts is 6 inches.
We could still build the frame and cut one inch off each side.
Then we could put a 24 inch tall picture in it,if
we use a router to open a hole in the frame for the picture.

In our next lesson we will travel at a speed of 200,000 miles per second.

We are in a car we see a light wave going in the opposite direction,
We measure our closing speed with the light wave at 186,000 miles per second.
We know we are moving and assume that the light wave is standing still.
This tells us that we are traveling at a speed of 186,000 miles per second.
If we accelerate for a while we will be going 200,000 miles per second.

Here is my experiment I will put a light detector at the front of a long train
and a light detector at the back of the long train.
I will run the train 30 miles per hour and my friend will send a flash of light
at the train from a mountain up ahead. I will measure the time difference
between the front detector and rear detector detecting the light flash.
If special relativity is correct the time it takes for the light to
go from the front detector to the rear detector will always be the same
no matter what speed I run the train.

Due to heat, humidity, barometric pressure and grade changes
the length of the train would fluctuate rendering the experiment
worthless, but it is a nice thought experiment.

If you wanted to put a message some where that would last almost
forever where might you put it?
On the moon.
If you look at the rising full moon with the naked eye
you will see a message someone put on the moon.
This could not be an accident.

The little darlings.
Eighth grade literature class.
The most intelligent kid in the class wore a shirt
that said "Flunk Now Beat The Rush",threw eggs at the chalk board,
set the trash can on fire on a regular basis and never got caught.
The rest of the class chewed on newspaper and threw spit wads at everything.
The teacher wore bubblegum in her hair.
Why don't we just move to the jungle and throw crap at each other?
 

9-9-9
Lets look at it right side up.
6-6-6

A friend once told me,
"People who talk bad about you behind your back
are just jealous".

I just met two young Mormons on my walk,
and stopped to talk with them when they asked me to.
They said they were on a two year mission.
I talked to them.
They were ass holes.
I wish I hadn't stopped.

There are some very successful people I
hear on the radio who complain for their
whole show every day.
I guess success isn't all that great.

She married for love.
The love of cash.
Call it intuition.
The following are false statements.
She didn't care about the money.
I am happier in prison.

Conway and anger management

I walk away from pretty much every religious discussion feeling that way.... because my thoughts/beliefs were unimportant/irrelevant to them.

So my words to live by... never open your door to religious canvassers, they exasperate your patience and make you feel like you wanna strangle the next one who offends/insults your intelligence. 

And I thought religion was supposed to engender peace and harmony within one???

You spent the last 12 years building an economy
on loan commissions and sales commissions,
and here we are.

To run a successful business it is a good idea
to have business experience.
To run the federal government it would
be good to have the necessary experience.

Here is the list of the top three republican candidates for
president assuming we live in a logical world that makes sense.

Newton Leroy Gingrich

People don't like it when someone tries to make them feel stupid.
What is even worse is when the person trying to make you
feel stupid is actually the dumbest person in the room.

Who owns the Zebra?

You can't be a leader if you aren't a reader.

Happiness is overrated, poverty isn't.

Words I won't hear anymore: Say them if you like.
"Class warfare"
"Entitlements", it is a contract and everyone has payed the tax
and is paying all the taxes.

Phrase I am changing:
Old: "Documented to be almost always right."
New: "Documented to be almost always full of sh_ _."

I notice that the occupy protesters do have a job. 

They watch cars go around in a circle.

With practice and some help they can learn how to turn the TV on. 

Everyone has the same ability to empathize,
some are much better at faking it then others.