How do I play

Expand quickly with pioneers, and make sure to build basic troops to enhance your score and to use as meat shields in combat. A good basic unit is the club militia the game starts with.  After you research spears, use spearmen.  Don't pair up your sovereign and champions in the same army, they get their exp divided between them, and level up slower.  If you start really close to another enemy in the early game, build a quick army and rush them with all champs and troops, take their city, and then maybe even have their leader join you through diplomacy.  

Are you using a custom faction or a premade one?  One easy thing to do would be to create a custom leader for the Kraxis Empire, make your leader Death 2, Water 1 and wealthy, and choose whatever profession you like.  This will give you money to spend on units and buildings, so research civics first and rush a few things like early units and pioneers, and then research production and get a workshop.  Also, this build will give your Sov blind and slow spells in combat, and a research and unrest bonus spells for cities.  the Kraxis faction will give you one handed spears, and the ability to fortify.  After researching civics and production, research the warfare tech that gives spears and wooden shield.  Make your first units with that shield and spear and upgradable, they can be useful for a long time.     

Expansion and Exploration is the name of the game early.

First find a good starting point. 3/3/2 is good. But I will usually try to take the best spot in my area. I want to start building as fast as I can.

Cast enchantments on your city based on your sovereign. Enchanted Hammers, Meditation, Research, Propaganda depending on who you are playing and what is going on in your world. I usually build a pioneer first, then a building, then a pioneer, then start building based on what I need. I like to build a logging camp if it is available. While those are being built, start exploring with your Sovereign.  If possible cast enchantments on your Sovereign, I like tutelage and evade.  Careful not to cast too many that you are losing mana. There should be a hero near you, recruit them. Some people build militia, but in most of my games I usually get a warg or or sand golems early on, so I don't. Make sure your hero and champion explore separately for a while. Helps cover more ground and they will build experience more quickly.

Then depending on what the game gives you, start expanding.  Settle Fertile grounds and build outposts on nearby resources.  Capture shards as soon as you can.  They increase your mana and help your spells.

A good foundation is important and will pay dividends down the road.

edit***what Xia said.  The start of the game is important,

Ill give that a try guys.  Also, what do shards do?  (I have a spell that converts them to death shards, but they don't seem to do anything except spawn a really weak demon

I'm playing a Let's Play using Oracle Ceresa - making use of the various demons. It explains what to avoid and what to jump on. It may help you as it is the same race...

https://forums.elementalgame.com/435283