[An Inn on Elemental]
Bard: I will sing you the tale of the villainous Brunthus the Tenebrous!
Villager1: Boring! Sir Roderick took his 200 men and massacred the poor sod.
Bard: Oh, errr, the story of Hatian's staff?
Villager2: Stolen by a Fire Elemental? "Bravely" returned by Ailsa the Ironeer, with her archer divisions help?
Bard: that would be the one. Humm. How about the recovery of Moriah's Lost Spell Book?
Villager1: I've not heard that one! Does it involve a band of hero's on epic quest to find lost knowledge and restore the land to its former glory? (He said hopefully)
Bard: Not as such, there is a Hero!
Villager3: And?
Bard: The entire Krax mounted legion, with 2 engineer corps, 16 catapults and a troop of ogre allies.
Villager2: No. anything else?
Bard: Well no. The gods cursed our heroes with magical restraining orders preventing them from being within 50 feet of each other.
Villager3: Why would they do that?
Villager1: Yea that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!
Innkeeper: Don't get me started, My Daughter has been kidnapped by Slavers! I can't afford to hire the entire local garrison to get her back.
Villager1: We could do it!
Bard: No!
Villager3: Yea, I was in the reserves!
Bard: Wait! Stop!
Villager2: Lets do it!
Bard: NO!
[A terrible sound of cracking bone as the 3 villagers are flung in opposite directions to crash into the inns walls. All three land in contorted piles obviously dead.]
Innkeeper: What happened!
Bard: The curse of Legaceez! They became Heroes and so could not exist near each other.
Innkeeper: What a messed up world we live in. Oh and cleaning that lot up is coming out of your tab.
[Fade to black]
IN all seriousness how do ANY of the current quests make sense for anything other than a small group of Heroes, maybe with some troops to back them up for the larger fights?