Life in hell doesn't sound that great

Check out this hilarious article at The Onion:

http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/hijackers_surprised.html

Excerpt:
JAHANNEM, OUTER DARKNESS—The hijackers who carried out the Sept. 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon expressed confusion and surprise Monday to find themselves in the lowest plane of Na'ar, Islam's Hell.
"I was promised I would spend eternity in Paradise, being fed honeyed cakes by 67 virgins in a tree-lined garden, if only I would fly the airplane into one of the Twin Towers," said Mohammed Atta, one of the hijackers of American Airlines Flight 11, between attempts to vomit up the wasps, hornets, and live coals infesting his stomach. "But instead, I am fed the boiling feces of traitors by malicious, laughing Ifrit. Is this to be my reward for destroying the enemies of my faith?"

3,095 views 3 replies
Reply #1 Top
Sorry to go a little off topic here, but you bring back in my mind something I watched on TV last night. Fifth Estate, a excellent TV program on CBC, was showing the story of Ziad Samir Jarrah, one of the highjackers.
I swear he story is chilling. Ziad was a muslim Lebanese who went to a catholic school; he was as much of a muslim as I am a catholic, that is he hardly believed in God, never prayed, never went to church... He went to College in Germany, where he met his girlfriend, also a very moderate muslim. They even lived together unmarried for a while, something an Islamist would never do. All in all, he was a very normal Joe. He could have been me, he could have been you. But then, nobody knows what happened, but he seems to have met the wrong crowd. It seems that in 1999, at age 24, he met Mohamed Atta.

How can somebody change so much at 24 years old? What kind of a convincing person must Mohamed Atta have had such an evil influence.
Heck, I don't even know if Ziad knew that he was supposed to die. Just two day before the crashes, on september 9, he talked to his family on the phone. He was supposed to come home on the 22nd, but he first was going to stop in Hamburg to see his girlfriend and might bring her along if she wanted to.
Why would somebody who knows he is going to die talk like that, and make up such a story?

I am disturbed. I don't understand how good can turn to evil like that. He could have been any of my friends...

Anyway, for the Canadians here, I greatly recommend to watch the repeat of this show on CBC Thursday (tonight) at 10 pm, Friday at 1 am or Saturday at 1 pm. For the ones that can't watch it, CBC made a website with his story:
http://www.cbc.ca/fifth/featurestories/jarrah_101001/story.html

It's a must see, must read...
Reply #2 Top
I think TheOnion has done an extremely good job in their las 2 issues. They have talked about events surrounding 9/11 while managing to be funny, sarcastic as ever, but still very pointed.

Here are a couple more excellent articles:
God Clarifies Don't Kill Rule:http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/god_clarifies_dont_kill.html
A Shattered Nation Longs to Care About Stupid Bullshit Again: http://www.theonion.com/onion3735/a_shattered_nation.html


Reply #3 Top
Thanks for the notice, just discovered the onion. luvin it