Banned for Quizno's, because Jimmy John's makes much better sandwiches.

 Banned for Jimmy Johns ain't got nuthin' on Lorenzos. I actually got one from Jimmy Johns....it was more expensive and half the size of Lorenzos. Jimmy Johns lasted about four months and was gone! They couldn't compete.

banned for wanting the bigger sandwich

Banned 'cause it was so yummy. 

And banned for biting the wrong end.

Banned for banning twice.

And banned for double banning.

banned for doubling up on the nonsensicalness 

Banned for no rhyme nor reason.

Banned for not taking the thyme to mace a butter ban.

butter banned by the butterball turkey and liver convention

Banned for the wind just picked up and blew all the cloud cover away, revealing a UFO [Unique Fried Omlette] speeding across the heavens to escape ravenous mouths.

Banned for regurgitating liberal brainwashings that teach that ravens have mouths instead of beaks.

Banned for using out of date detergent to wash your nugget.

banned for getting the chickens involved with suds

Banned for inebriated poultry. Now we'll get chunky drunky chicken soup.

banned for hating on the soup

NO SOUP FOR YOU! BANNED!

 Banned because I have a full pot of chili and I don't need your soup, but I'll take some crackers if you have any to spare.

Banned for admitting to being crackers on World Sanity Day and wanting to have a whine to go with the cheese.

banned for cutting the cheese and then blaming the dog

Banned for letting the damned dog in the dining room to begin with.... then blaming it for licking the woman opposite you on the knees.   We all know it was you when you kept disappearing under the table to so-say retie your shoe laces.... and we know it was you who trained the dog to keep untying them so you could look up that woman's skirt throughout dinner.

banned for spiking the dog's drink

Banned for infiltrating the dinner party to indulge in nefarious shennanigans under the table with various ladies in attendance and using the dog to take upskirt selfies for a photo album cataloging your somewhat strange and untoward social activities.

Banned for keeping photo albums full of people course of random men and boys' feet.

Banned for spurious functions.

Banned for random dysfunctions that can leave the brain and other body parts in a state of not doing their job when and as needed.

banned for mocking the body in of itself