Bits and pieces

For some reason, I've been having trouble getting my thoughts together coherently in order to share them.  Part of it is that I have lots of unrelated things I want to say and the obsessive/compulsive part of me can't stand the idea of disorganization.  And part of it is also that I don't know who reads this (in terms of people in my 'real' life), so I have to kind of monitor what I post--which definitely defeats the purpose of this whole thing to some extent.  So this will be rather disjointed...

JLO sent a 3D ultrasound picture of the baby's face.  It makes me feel like an old lady to say this, but it's amazing what they can do these days!  When I had the girls, I don't think ultrasounds were available--sonograms, yes (although I never had one), but not ultrasounds.  So I find it somewhat miraculous to begin with that we can see this little person even before it's here.  But on top of that, now we actually have an idea of what this child looks like.  It's just way too cool.

Regarding bailouts:  I have such strong feelings against this whole thing, but honestly, had we never lived overseas, I'm not sure I would feel this way.  When we lived in Venezuela (back in the late 70s), very few familiar grocery items were available, and even with local items, there were limited choices in each category.  I'd come back to North America on home leave and one of the things I'd love doing would be to walk through a grocery store to see what had been invented since the previous year.  But my overwhelming reaction was always one of shock and disbelief.  This culture is built on waste.  How many choices of cereal do we really need?  Or laundry soap?  Or bread?  Or cars?  Or banks?  Or ANYTHING???  And if the maker of any particular good or service can't be competitive and give fair value, then it shouldn't be in business. 

In addition, most North Americans have no idea of what poverty truly is.  I don't blame them--we seem to have breathed in this air of entitlement without even realizing it.  But when I see a news story of a family in shorts and tank tops, complaining about how they can't afford to heat their home, I want to scream: TRY PUTTING ON SOME WARM CLOTHES AND TURN THE BLOODY THERMOSTAT TO A REASONABLE TEMPERATURE.  When my in-laws tell us about their volunteer work in a food pantry, and how the clients refuse to take certain products (like any bread that's not plain old white bread), I want to scream:  THEN GO HUNGRY. 

I really am not a redneck conservative.  In fact, I consider myself a liberal Democrat, believe it or not.

In India, there are thousands of families who live under a piece of blue plastic strung on a rope.  They have a single pot to cook in.  While the parents work (usually construction), the kids take care of each other and spend the day gathering sticks for a cooking fire.  The roughly $1 US they make each day buys them rice for their dinner--probably their only meal.  This is poverty.  In North America we would consider them homeless; in India they are simply laborers.

On dreams:  I have also heard the idea that if you dream you died, you will die.  Can't remember ever dreaming that I did die.  But I definitely have dreamed that I am one of my children, or even a man.  The most difficult dreams for me to disengage from are the strongly emotional ones (either positive or negative); the emotion takes some time to disapate and intrudes on my waking life for a while until it does, sometimes with negative effect.

Just finished reading The Hour I First Believed.  Started out well (though reading about Columbine was difficult for me), then lost me for most of the book--I just felt like he was trying to pack too much into it.  But caught me back up at the end--the last bit really moved me.  So a mixed review.

A good friend's husband has decided to retire.  I am so there, but the husband isn't yet.  I feel, once again, that I am passing time and haven't truly invested in anything I am doing, which leads to a permanent state of apathy/borderline depression.  I think that while retirement will pose some real challenges (the husband's love of just hanging out with me vs. my need for space), knowing that we are settled once and for all will allow me/force me to settle myself and find things that fulfill me in more than just a superficial way.  At least I hope so...