why aren't you married yet ?

http://www.loserturdmafia.com/
from JoeUser Forums

 

If you are of marriageable age, chances are you will eventually get accosted by ‘well-meaning’ relatives loudly enquiring as to when you will finally get off the shelf and bag yourself a spouse ‘whilst you still have a chance’.

I married at age 30 after fending off the above rude question for about a decade. Hence, I became rather adept at incorporating insults into my answers to said question. I have collected these responses over the years from various sources, and now present them for your pedantic pleasure.

TOP 10 ANSWERS TO THE QUESTION "WHY AREN'T YOU MARRIED YET ?"

10/        Well, I was hoping to still do something meaningful with my life.

9/          Because I just love hearing this question !.

8/          I’m just lucky, I guess.

7/          I'm waiting until I get to be your age.

6/          I really want to, but my lovers' spouse just won't go for it.

5/          Why aren't you more polite ?.

4/          I already have enough laundry to do.

3/          I think it may have something to do with this rash.

2/          My dog just didn't take to the last person I dated.

... and, the number one answer to the question "Why aren't you married yet ?" ...

1/         I'm against this whole trend towards 'user-pays' systems as a rule.

 

humor
15,910 views 20 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

How about 11. Why aren't you dead yet?
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I'm only 23 and I have old biddies asking me this. I am SO stealing them all. I reckon it can carry over to the 'Why don't you have a boyfriend?' question as well. My defensive 'Because I'm obviously a freak of nature' response never seems to go down too well.

Suz xxx
SoundPackager - Customize the Windows sound scheme
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Well, since I got married at 19, I haven't been asked that one much, but after 8 years, I am so tired of hearing, "so, when are you going to have a baby?"
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
"so, when are you going to have a baby?"


My sister got that one for a long time. She ended up saying 'When we find the assembly instructions' You get a lot of confused looks for that one!
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
"So when are you going to have a baby?"

Assholes ask us this all the time! When you are dealing with infertility, this question gets extra annoying......
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
so, when are you going to have a baby?"
Assholes ask us this all the time! When you are dealing with infertility, this question gets extra annoying......


This is a cultural thing for Koreans. A GOOD wife will make babies for her husband. There is something wrong with you if you don't provide children to your family. It gets really old for me and my wife.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Mig--this is hilarious--I think I might steal a few!

The worst time the question was posed was when my 7 year old cousin told me I should really settle down cause I'm not getting any younger--think she's brainwashed??
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
One for the busy people:

I can't seem to fit it in between brunch and retirement.

and one for me:

I will. When I find someone who doesn't have the genes of a chimp. I don't my children born with the inherent disadvantage of an only 2% difference.

Marco
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm a coward and fearful I'll wind up with a dominant woman.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
This made me giggle Mig! I will save these for when people start to harrass me with that question! My response would go along the lines of.....I can find better forms of torture, thanks . Ahhh I'm such a charmer!

'why buy the cow when getting milk for free


....which bloke needs a slap for that one????
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
thoroughly enjoyed your post...though it reminds me ofthe scene in bridget jones's diary wen she goes to dat couples only dinner thrown by her frds,...n blurts out in exasperation..that 2 out of every 3 marriages end up in divorce...good male bashing...keep it up!!
by d way drop in at my blog
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Mig, mig, mig...you should've made it controversial by making number 1 "because gay marriage isn't legal yet". Would've been funny too. Then again, it could give somebody's parents a heart attack.
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
hehe! Not too bad, had a smile for each answer. I'm 21 & the only reason i'm not married yet is coz i havent found the 1..., and i also think weddings are a big waste of MONEY! Heh, sorry i'm too obssessed with $$$$ these days to worry about a husband...
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top

Reply #3 By: LadyCleve - 10/13/2004 9:53:51 AM
Well, since I got married at 19, I haven't been asked that one much, but after 8 years, I am so tired of hearing, "so, when are you going to have a baby?"


Heh heh heh.....hello beautiful, wanna try when you get off work tonight? Or maybe we can just practice some more.........love you spoon.....
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
you guys are the best !. sorry i haven't been around . i'm so glad to have given you all some ammunition to answer the rude questions with. thanks so much for the comments.



together, we shall all wipe out the rude question sof the world !!!.



"next' topic: what to say when people ask "why aren't you pregnant yet ?"





vanessa/mig XXX
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
My favorite one has always been...

I'll get married someday...But not TODAY!

It's worked for me so far...lol
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top

I'll get married someday...But not TODAY!


they will catch up with even you, silky, in the end ! you cannot hide !


mig XXX

Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
Mig--I got this in an email today and had to find this article to post it...it's hilarious, and I might just try it...

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
Once you DO get married, then the question becomes: "When you gonna have babies?"

Dang it, why can't y'all be SATISFIED!!!

Cheers, mignuna!