Changing Horizons
Changing Myself
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JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
My life is undergoing a profound metamorphosis and, although i am afraid and a bit confused, i am also hopeful.
...
1. I may be losing my job.
Well, i am, the question is really how long it is going to take for it to happen. They say it is a position change, and i will treat it as such on the job. However, i will be finding a new company to work for, as soon as i can. For me, this is a huge change. I have worked for the same small company reporting to the owner for over 14 years. Now it seems that the relationship with the owner has soured, and that really is the root of what is going on with the job change, although there are other aspects.
"They" think being an accountant is not a good match for me and for that reason, I am not doing a good job at it. At other times with the company, i have had other jobs which were more interesting to me. Perhaps there is the element of truth here. I certainly think accounting is boring and project management, writing, and software design are MUCH more interesting.
I am not officially fired, just being asked to step down from the accountant position and take on a "special project" position that is about 6 months of work. After that, they just don't know what will be available for me to do.... Hmmm what does that mean to you? To me it means i'd better find another job.
...
One of my co-workers, who use to be a neighbor and i consider still to be a good friend, has suggested i apologize for the confrontation that cause the rift with the owner in the first place. This is probably a VERY good suggestion and has lead me to think that maybe i need to consider apologizing more often. Sometimes being right isn't the most important thing, and we just sit on our high-and-mightiness, not considering the other persons FEELINGS or the value of the relationship vs. the unimportance of the argument topic. This is something i will think over for several days and try to experience some personal growth in - ACK
...
2. I have a boyfriend.
And he is an excellent boyfriend. He has so much going for him and we are so compatible. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and hoping it won't. He might actually be smarter than me, which is quite unusual in my experience. There might be lots of people out there that are smarter than me, but it is seldom acknowledged by me
He has great skill in reading people (me included). He is intense enough to handle my intensity - which has burned out others before him and can even be tiresome for my family. We are alike in so many ways - both capable of being dominant OR submissive, with strong male/female aspects to our personalities. My inner boy might enjoy playing with his inner girl. My inner slut likewise finds a companion in his inner pervert. Our outer selves are more typical - white collar professionals of "indeterminate age" who have similarities in taste, outlook, and sense of humor.
This relationship will change my life forever. It really already has, but history hasn't had time to record it yet.
...
3. My daughter is growing up and away from me.
Sometimes all the absence makes it difficult to feel the mom connection back in place, where it once was so overwhelming and natural. This divorce visitation schedule is not a good thing for her or me, but the ex is rigid and vengeful in enforcing it. I can only hope that GOD will straighten him out sometime soon, since i haven't the power or ability. I considered apologizing to him while i was reflecting on my need to apologize more, thinking maybe it would help him get over his anger and that might help the situation. Apologizing for ulterior motives would not be a good choice. Of course, he will assume an ulterior motive anyway, but that is his problem. I will try to get to a point where i could apologize sincerely, but that might be a while coming. It might be good for me, but his nastiness has been blatant and sometimes directed towards my daughter. Maybe i might never be that morally evolved to apologize to him...
...
1. I may be losing my job.
Well, i am, the question is really how long it is going to take for it to happen. They say it is a position change, and i will treat it as such on the job. However, i will be finding a new company to work for, as soon as i can. For me, this is a huge change. I have worked for the same small company reporting to the owner for over 14 years. Now it seems that the relationship with the owner has soured, and that really is the root of what is going on with the job change, although there are other aspects.
"They" think being an accountant is not a good match for me and for that reason, I am not doing a good job at it. At other times with the company, i have had other jobs which were more interesting to me. Perhaps there is the element of truth here. I certainly think accounting is boring and project management, writing, and software design are MUCH more interesting.
I am not officially fired, just being asked to step down from the accountant position and take on a "special project" position that is about 6 months of work. After that, they just don't know what will be available for me to do.... Hmmm what does that mean to you? To me it means i'd better find another job.
...
One of my co-workers, who use to be a neighbor and i consider still to be a good friend, has suggested i apologize for the confrontation that cause the rift with the owner in the first place. This is probably a VERY good suggestion and has lead me to think that maybe i need to consider apologizing more often. Sometimes being right isn't the most important thing, and we just sit on our high-and-mightiness, not considering the other persons FEELINGS or the value of the relationship vs. the unimportance of the argument topic. This is something i will think over for several days and try to experience some personal growth in - ACK
...
2. I have a boyfriend.
And he is an excellent boyfriend. He has so much going for him and we are so compatible. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and hoping it won't. He might actually be smarter than me, which is quite unusual in my experience. There might be lots of people out there that are smarter than me, but it is seldom acknowledged by me
He has great skill in reading people (me included). He is intense enough to handle my intensity - which has burned out others before him and can even be tiresome for my family. We are alike in so many ways - both capable of being dominant OR submissive, with strong male/female aspects to our personalities. My inner boy might enjoy playing with his inner girl. My inner slut likewise finds a companion in his inner pervert. Our outer selves are more typical - white collar professionals of "indeterminate age" who have similarities in taste, outlook, and sense of humor.
This relationship will change my life forever. It really already has, but history hasn't had time to record it yet.
...
3. My daughter is growing up and away from me.
Sometimes all the absence makes it difficult to feel the mom connection back in place, where it once was so overwhelming and natural. This divorce visitation schedule is not a good thing for her or me, but the ex is rigid and vengeful in enforcing it. I can only hope that GOD will straighten him out sometime soon, since i haven't the power or ability. I considered apologizing to him while i was reflecting on my need to apologize more, thinking maybe it would help him get over his anger and that might help the situation. Apologizing for ulterior motives would not be a good choice. Of course, he will assume an ulterior motive anyway, but that is his problem. I will try to get to a point where i could apologize sincerely, but that might be a while coming. It might be good for me, but his nastiness has been blatant and sometimes directed towards my daughter. Maybe i might never be that morally evolved to apologize to him...