98% Genetically Human.... sounds about right

If anyone needed another piece of evidence that chimpanzees were very close to humans genetically, this little tidbit from China proves to be an interesting case. A formerly "nice" chimp named Feili, has become as Jonathan Katz might say, "one great big ball of bitch" because she's sexually frustrated. After all, she's a modern chimp with modern needs. It's That Chimp!

And after her amorous advances were blunted, well, she did the only thing she could do in a cage without a singles bar... she started chain smoking and spitting at visitors to the park. If only she had three female friends to hang around with, you know, a wholesome one, a married one and a slutty one... then she could commiserate her sexual frustration with her peers, be a bit catty and talk about what a small world the cage is. Of course, she'd still be a power smoker, and that would be ok, but at least she would stop spitting at the tourists. Then again, it is the Big Apple of cages, so being a bit rude to the people who aren't from around there is par for the course I guess.

Or maybe they should give her a typewriter, let her write a column about it. (after about a million tries, of course). And such a phenomenal story would probably become... I don't know... something they'd show on HBO. I'm sure everyone would want to see it. I'm sure they could even make a series about it. Of course, they'd need to put an expresso machine in the cage, but I think that would be a small price to pay for so much entertainment. But wait, its China... they don't have expresso machines, so scratch that. 

I guess she is just going to have to wait for her big chimp to come back again. And smoking will make waiting that much easier. Especially when a cigarette company gets a hold of this story and becomes her exclusive supplier in exchange for using her as a model in its ads. A smoking chimp? That's entertainment and marketing gold!