Well Crap
Mercury is most decidedly retrograde
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
This is a bitch session. If you don't want to hear a bunch of complaints and whining, skip to the next blog...
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OK OK OK...
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Dating sucks.
Attempting to date sucks even worse.
Unfortunately, men don't suck. They just flat don't put out at all! No, maybe I'm confused, maybe its me that doesn't put out... Hooking up (not meaning just sex, but an actual RELATIONSHIP) with someone shouldn't be this hard. Maybe i'm the one putting the monkey wrench out there... Oh, screw that, it can't all be me.
...
Finding someone to date is a difficult task when you are like me. I'm bigger than most in about every measurable way. I'm loud, fast, fat, busy, sharp, weird, lonely, aggressive, smart, smartass, and unafraid to be up in your face (in the nicest possible way
). I've got bigger brassier balls than most men. And the tits, man, they can sure get in the way.
...
I've got the sexual appetite of the 12th army battalion - which gets me into more messes. They say men are ruled by their heads, but what do they say about a woman who is motivated by the fire down below? Oh, yea, slut... I've tried to resist that dangerous stupidity and be all good, and where does it get me??? I ask you - why does virtue have to be it's own punishment? Being good = being alone. Being alone sucks.
So, there we are back in the sucking whirlwind...
....
So, when trying to meet a someone special, i've been taking an approach that sounds good, but maybe isn't functioning too well. Maybe it focuses on the negative too much or something. I start out being about as honest and open as i can be.... try to tell them all the bad stuff... sort of like working a sales lead, going thru the prequalification checklist. You know, hi, how are you... chat chat yak yak... and about then we start getting to what each other is really like and:
Yes, i drink and sometimes get a little herbal - BAM Mr. 1 says - how immature, especially for people of OUR age
Yes, I'm looking for love - BAM Mr. 2 says - hey baby, yummy, let's play... time passes, oh, by the way, i'm moving to Antarctica tomorrow
Yes, I'm nontraditional - BAM Mr. 3 says - oh it's all good, i'll call tomorrow, and fades to black
Yes, I respect myself and expect to be treated with respect - BAM Mr. 4 says - the tone of your voice, well! how dare you say "Whatever" to me!! and leaves in a huff never to be seen again.
Yes, I believe what you say - BAM Mr. 4 says hahahahahahaha
Crap crap crap crap, Carp carp carp carp... dang, maybe i need to try some different bait...
You know, maybe that is the secret of the Southern Belle??? Don't tell. Keep the secrets. Let the mystery of your misdeeds, thoughts, and hopes stay hidden beneath that veneer of civility and mystery. Let the wantonness stay caged. Be prim and proper until you are within the cool sanctuary of your plantation prison...
No, i don't think so... I think that is what i have been trying, and it doesn't seem to be working too well... It sounds good. But, i'd really rather find someone who wouldn't mind flying a kite or bowling, who wants to be with me, just like i am and visa versa, and who will put out on a regular basis. I've really been trying, and actually succeeding - but, i don't do prim and proper very well. I sure would like to have another alternative!!!
...
Attempting to date just sucks. Being without romantic love sucks. Suckity suckity suck!
And i mean that MOST SINCERELY!
...
OK OK OK...
...
Dating sucks.
Attempting to date sucks even worse.
Unfortunately, men don't suck. They just flat don't put out at all! No, maybe I'm confused, maybe its me that doesn't put out... Hooking up (not meaning just sex, but an actual RELATIONSHIP) with someone shouldn't be this hard. Maybe i'm the one putting the monkey wrench out there... Oh, screw that, it can't all be me.
...
Finding someone to date is a difficult task when you are like me. I'm bigger than most in about every measurable way. I'm loud, fast, fat, busy, sharp, weird, lonely, aggressive, smart, smartass, and unafraid to be up in your face (in the nicest possible way
). I've got bigger brassier balls than most men. And the tits, man, they can sure get in the way....
I've got the sexual appetite of the 12th army battalion - which gets me into more messes. They say men are ruled by their heads, but what do they say about a woman who is motivated by the fire down below? Oh, yea, slut... I've tried to resist that dangerous stupidity and be all good, and where does it get me??? I ask you - why does virtue have to be it's own punishment? Being good = being alone. Being alone sucks.
So, there we are back in the sucking whirlwind...
....
So, when trying to meet a someone special, i've been taking an approach that sounds good, but maybe isn't functioning too well. Maybe it focuses on the negative too much or something. I start out being about as honest and open as i can be.... try to tell them all the bad stuff... sort of like working a sales lead, going thru the prequalification checklist. You know, hi, how are you... chat chat yak yak... and about then we start getting to what each other is really like and:
Yes, i drink and sometimes get a little herbal - BAM Mr. 1 says - how immature, especially for people of OUR age
Yes, I'm looking for love - BAM Mr. 2 says - hey baby, yummy, let's play... time passes, oh, by the way, i'm moving to Antarctica tomorrow
Yes, I'm nontraditional - BAM Mr. 3 says - oh it's all good, i'll call tomorrow, and fades to black
Yes, I respect myself and expect to be treated with respect - BAM Mr. 4 says - the tone of your voice, well! how dare you say "Whatever" to me!! and leaves in a huff never to be seen again.
Yes, I believe what you say - BAM Mr. 4 says hahahahahahaha
Crap crap crap crap, Carp carp carp carp... dang, maybe i need to try some different bait...
You know, maybe that is the secret of the Southern Belle??? Don't tell. Keep the secrets. Let the mystery of your misdeeds, thoughts, and hopes stay hidden beneath that veneer of civility and mystery. Let the wantonness stay caged. Be prim and proper until you are within the cool sanctuary of your plantation prison...
No, i don't think so... I think that is what i have been trying, and it doesn't seem to be working too well... It sounds good. But, i'd really rather find someone who wouldn't mind flying a kite or bowling, who wants to be with me, just like i am and visa versa, and who will put out on a regular basis. I've really been trying, and actually succeeding - but, i don't do prim and proper very well. I sure would like to have another alternative!!!
...
Attempting to date just sucks. Being without romantic love sucks. Suckity suckity suck!
And i mean that MOST SINCERELY!
