Women have less sex than their Grans did!

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/allnews/page.cfm?objectid=14502144&method=full&siteid=50143
from JoeUser Forums
The title of this just amused me. I've written a few articles about how womens roles are different, and their views to sex are different, so I won't get to far into it. Comments like "Women have less sex than their Grans did" really does bring home just how times of changed. My Mum thinks at twenty one, I should be in a long term relationship, considering settling down, doing all the things she did. She was pregnant with my sister at eighteen, had her second baby at twenty one, and then me when she was twenty nine. She dedicated her life to bringing us up, and making home for my Dad. That's what the majority of her life has been about. There's nothing wrong with that. At all. She has had a lot of joy and good times out of bringing us up. I want more though, I want the career, and the family, eventually. I'm in no rush. I think she thinks I'm wasting time. I just think like alot of women of my generation.

Prima magazine have done a study on this, and there results showed that with the changing roles of ladies. Women are single for longer, and concentrate more on their careers now. In the 1950's women were getting married at 24 and having babies at 25. Now it's married at 28, babies at 29. Also in the 1950's women were more likely to be stay-at-home wives. They concentrated on keeping their husbands happy. They had more regular sex, and concentrated alot harder on making the relationship work. Now we have our own lives and careers to juggle, without worrying about our partners. Women are much more independent.

I don't really know what to make of all this. I much prefer the times we live in now. To think that my role in life would be to keep a man happy, just doesn't do it for me. there is alot more to life. Having said that, maybe there are certain things we can learn from times gone by. Maybe we are truely missing out on more than we realised. Relationships seem to be put on th back burner, until we sort other things out. Maybe they should be more important. A career is good. A social life is good. Independence is good. Love is great.
5,192 views 29 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
I am shocked to learn that you read the Daily Mirror, Sally. This peasant "newspaper" is nothing more than politically correct propaganda. Most of it is written by poofters!
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Women have less sex than their Grans did!


But...did our Grans really "have" sex, or just lots of kids?
TouchTasks - Access tasks with ease on Windows touchscreens.
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

It depends on what you want to get out of life.

My wife stays at home with our children and I think we have a happier life as a result. And I say we as in our family. A different family may find a different lifestyle makes them happier.

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
A career is good. A social life is good. Independence is good. Love is great.

I reckon! Even unrequited love is great (well, it has its moments)... sometimes I think I might be in love with love.

If my (future) wife stayed at home all the time just to make my life easier, I think i'd just end up feeling guilty. I'd much prefer to share the responsibilities and stuff. Sure i'd appreciate everything she did for me if that was the case, but i'd feel better if she had her own life as well.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Can't independent careerist women have it all, without unduly sacrificing the pleasant things in life like relaxed sex, chat in moonlight, a walk in the beach. Just a thought. It all depends on our attitude.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
LoL, well I think it all has to do with choosing. Nothing saying a woman can't be a career woman and still want to keep her husband happy. Plus things like One NIght Stands are a lot more common now-a-days than they used to be... and we all know at least for most of them women are involved

Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

Freedom and order exist at different ends of a spectrum. Generally, one comes at the expense of the other. I believe that the freedom of women has come at the expense of order in the family and society itself. While individually women may be better off, I think overall society itself is worse off. Children - boys and girls - are unquestionably worse off. Women initiate divorce twice as often as men, this figure is well documented. Something to consider.

As I've mentioned before on your blog Sally, I think we spend too much time arguing over topical and ultimately inconsequential matters and not enough time examining the really important fundamental problems like family, marriage, etc. and it's nice to see someone bringing these issues up. Good post.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
There is much to praise about love in the 50s; women bravely gave up their careers or war effort for the returning GIs. That a wife is without a life because it is spent on loving and caring for a husband and children, ignores the spirit that a husband was her life and conversely. However, they were not the sex machines that you ascribe to them.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
I am shocked to learn that you read the Daily Mirror, Sally


I'm not a huge fan, it's usually full of crap, but it's nice to get a different perspective now and again.

But...did our Grans really "have" sex, or just lots of kids?


I guess the kids came before the sex huh, hehe!

My wife stays at home with our children and I think we have a happier life as a result. And I say we as in our family. A different family may find a different lifestyle makes them happier.


It is all down to personal preference of course. Though when you have a family things change. Children need to be looked after, and they are priority over everything else.

I'd much prefer to share the responsibilities and stuff.


It's all about balance. You never know, a lady may get alot of pleasure out of simply caring for you, Who knows!

Can't independent careerist women have it all, without unduly sacrificing the pleasant things in life like relaxed sex, chat in moonlight, a walk in the beach.


I'm sure they still have these things. It's more about actually finding the time and energy to do such things. When there are so many other things career wise, life wise going on.

Nothing saying a woman can't be a career woman and still want to keep her husband happy.


Nope, that is true. It happens alot of the time as well. It just seems to put more pressure on relationships.

David I'm glad you commented. You raise a good point too.

While individually women may be better off, I think overall society itself is worse off. Children - boys and girls - are unquestionably worse off


I think family and the meaning of it is worse off. The concentration on its importance seems to be getting less and less. People are more interested in making money and going out, when family issues in my opinion should be number one. You can find a balance, have a career and look after the home, but it won't be easy, at all. Children need love and attention, and the way things are going in todays society, it is more and more obvious they are not getting that.

That a wife is without a life because it is spent on loving and caring for a husband and children, ignores the spirit that a husband was her life and conversely.


I'm sure these women didn't do anything they didn't want to. I'm sure they were very happy in what they did. Are you sure some only did through a lack of choice though?

However, they were not the sex machines that you ascribe to them.


Hehe, sex machines, no. They had more time and effort to put into the art of love making though. They also had more of a need to pleasetheir husbands.

Thanks for all the comments guys
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
There is a theory that women who put off pregnancy until later in life will live longer because such a thing has been observed in laboratory animals.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think I must have been born in the wrong Era. I'm 21 married stay at home wife and mother - I have an 8month old. And absolutely no desire for a career anymore. I can't imagine anything else now.
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
My husband and I started our family young, and for many years we were both working and in college. I have graduated now, and my husband and I prefer that I stay home with our two young sons. Thinking back on the years that we were both working and going to school, I remember so much stress and worry. Our children were fortunate enough to be able to be cared for by their grandparents while my husband and I were at work or school, but it almost felt like they were raising my children. I can remember getting up in the morning to take my oldest to school and then going immediately to class and from there immediately to a high stress job and working until close to 8 pm. When I would get off work, I would go home so exhausted and grouchy. I had only a short time to spend with the children before they went to bed, and then I would have to start studying. I constantly felt worn out and guilty for not being able to spend more time with the kids. At that point, not working was not an option for me. If I didn't work, we didn't eat. As for sex, neither my husband or I felt like it most of the time. We were both mentally and physically exhausted. Now, however, I am with the kids just about 24/7. We have time to do things like have "Game Night" and play board games or spend an entire day at the beach. I am happy and relaxed. I get joy (and sometimes frustration) from their antics. My husband is in the military and I am able to care for him and make our home comfortable and enjoyable for him. We are able to have time together. With me at home, sex is a daily thing - even a lunch break thing. I feel very fulfilled with this type of lifestyle. (Of course, my husband is deployed right now, so the dynamics are a bit different) I feel that I have chosen to do something worthwhile. However, some women do not have the luxury of staying home, and some women need the mental stimulation and/or adult interaction that comes from work outside the home. Having a career makes them feel good and valued. I think that for those women, work outside the home can be a benefit to their ability to parent. I guess after all this rambling, my point is: it's great to have a choice and I don't want to know how much sex my Gran had! Ewww.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top

I don't want to know how much sex my Gran had


yikes!   

Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
There is a theory that women who put off pregnancy until later in life will live longer because such a thing has been observed in laboratory animals.


I don't know much about this, I guess it all depends on your health anyway, and what age you concieve. There must be alot of factors.

I think I must have been born in the wrong Era. I'm 21 married stay at home wife and mother - I have an 8month old. And absolutely no desire for a career anymore. I can't imagine anything else now.


No, I'm sure there are plenty of people that do that. Just all depends on personal choice, and watching your child grow is second to nothing!

Hello texas! That comment got you an insightful, thanks!

As for sex, neither my husband or I felt like it most of the time. We were both mentally and physically exhausted.


That's the point, it's not because you don't want too, it's the time and effort factor. Leading such busy lives does take its toll!

my point is: it's great to have a choice and I don't want to know how much sex my Gran had!


No matter what generation we live in, everyone is different and willw ant different things. I can't even imagine my parents having sex (not that I want to!) nevermind my Gran!

Thanks guys

Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think I must have been born in the wrong Era. I'm 21 married stay at home wife and mother - I have an 8month old. And absolutely no desire for a career anymore. I can't imagine anything else now.


Absolutely nothing wrong with being a mommy for a career. My wife is a stay at home mom as well, and I am convinced the children reap the rewards off of that decision.
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think that the reason why being a mother nowadays is different to being a mother in the 50's is because of the way society has changed, rather than because of how individuals have changed. If a person is cut out for motherhood, and wants the usual family setup in life, they could and should be comfortable to settle down with that, as they did in the 50's.

It is true that the nightlife and clubbing scene seems to be a priority to many girls in their twenties nowadays, and they have the home lifestyle (i.e. husband and kids) later in life. Some girls in their late twenties have been married and divorced, and are now hitting the club scene to catch up with their mates' lifestyle. But I think that in most cases, this has happened because they thought that their previous homely existence didn't fit well with the social mirror, (i.e. their peers hitting the town). I know a few women who had felt jealous of their peers, or resentful of their husbands, because they had felt that they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, more often than not, after getting divorced, they soon learnt that clubbing the night away wasn't as fulfilling as they had previously assumed, and they bagan seeking the homely lifestyle again.

Even though society has changed, and is changing so much, it wouldn't surprise me if everything went full circle, and we began wanting to settle down in our early twenties again. However, this time, it would be with more of a balance, (career-wise etc). Women's independance would be key to this balance, as they wouldn't need to rely on the husband as much as they did in the 50's.

Incidentally, because the age of people hitting the town seems to getting lower and lower, (it's now quite common to see 14 or 15 year-old girls dressed up to the nines clubbing along with people in their late-twenties), the youngsters might soon have burned it all out of their system by the time they reach 21 anyway. And would be happy to settle down at an earlier age.

Either way, I don't think that we should be swayed by the 'social mirror', but instead we should be happy with our own lifestyle, and not seek to change it because of things like 'jealousy'. Rather, we should do what we feel best from our heart's reckoning. If that means having three kids by the age of 21, or if it means having less sex than our grandmother, then who cares, as long as we're content?
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
the youngsters might soon have burned it all out of their system by the time they reach 21 anyway.


I know exactly what you mean with that, form sixteen I was going out with my friends every weekend, and some week nights too, and it gets boring. Going out, week in, week out. Now I'm alot happier just staying in, and chilling out!

I don't think that we should be swayed by the 'social mirror', but instead we should be happy with our own lifestyle, and not seek to change it because of things like 'jealousy'.


The whole point to this is that people are happier doing what is best for them. There is a lot of peer pressure for women to be more independent, to be going out more. We are expected to compete more with men, and I think society looks down more on women who stay at home, that they used to. Don't they realise that, that is just as rewarding if not more so than getting a great career. I tell you, i'll concentrate on my career, but as soon as I have kids, that will be out of the window for me!

Thanks for the comment as always Andy

My wife is a stay at home mom as well, and I am convinced the children reap the rewards off of that decision.


I think there are far more rewards, in regards to familty life. How can the childrens not feel the rewards of so much attention and care.

Sally, are you really only 21?


Yeah I sure am, I turned 21 about a month ago

Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yeah I sure am, I turned 21 about a month ago


My, you have a mature head on your shoulders. You've just surprised me.
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
My, you have a mature head on your shoulders. You've just surprised me


Hehe, I'll take that as a compliment, thanks Andy!
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
Stay at home motherhood is a choice. There were a large number of "unfulfilled women" in our Grandmother's era who didn't feel happy in the role that society placed upon them. It is very easy to romanticise the past, but the truth of the matter is, many women felt pressured into a life they didn't want or didn't feel they could live up to. The images we have of the "perfect 50s housewife" was not very realistic. At least now we have the choice of home and kids or work or work and kids or some other variation.

That being said. I am all in favor of the "50s" life where Mom stays home and raises the kids and Dad goes out and has the job. i think kids need a parent AT HOME especially during the younger years. I'm very happy with the choices I've made to be a mom full time (at least the majority of the time-I still have hobbies and teach yoga)

i understand that my chosen sterotype may not be an option due to finances, single parenthood (which I think is a bad idea to intentionally choose) or various other circumstances. I still think it is the most stable enviornment for a family. Yet, having an option allows peope to know that they wanted this choice and they can be happier in the end because it is not placed on them as the only way of life.
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top
Some of the most fulfilled, inspired, energetic and wise women I know, are those who have raised children and kept house for there husbands. In later life, after there children have grown and they have more time to spend in other pursuits, these women are the ones who, having been tempered and refined in the fires of family life, having had to sacrifice personal ambition for the sake of children (and husbands) now have the grace and maturity to have a lasting impact in lives around them. Whether that be in a new career, or in there social environment, or church.
I think that being a stay at home mother, while it chafes at some personalities more than others, is one of the most rewarding experiences a women can have. To be honest, as a man I love children, and if I happen to marry a women who already has a deeply involving career I would like to think that I would be prepared to do the stay home part myself and serve her and any children that come along.
I think that when we think of 'stay at home' we think to much of the house as a prison, a place we are tied to until our children grow up, and we are so old that we need a walking stick to get around And no doubt in times of frustration this would seem true, but it's not the end. Your home is a base of operations, your solid ground that you can always come back to, and there is a whole community, a whole world out there which you can still touch and impact as a mother, your not bound, you are merely anchored to a safe mooring so that you never lose site of who you are, (a bearer of new life) and your awesome purpose (to raise and nurture your children and instill in them the values that will stay with them the rest of there lives). I don't know about you, but I think mothers, and women by definition, have the best job description, the most rewarding occupation in the world!

I envy stay at home mothers, the simple joys and pleasures and the fulfillment they will experience. I don't envy those who go down the path of a career, because I can do that myself! I think that womens true independence, there true defining differences and what makes them so much better than us men, are apparent in motherhood. I can easily understand how women get caught up in there careers, in wanting to be independant and not have to rely on another. I still cheer these women on, and say make the most of what you have set out to do. But my honour, respect and love goes out to those women who sacrifice there ambitions, put them on hold for a time, to devote themselves to there children, and love of there husbands.
Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top
There were a large number of "unfulfilled women" in our Grandmother's era who didn't feel happy in the role that society placed upon them.


Thank you for the comment, I see what you're saying, and no matter what part of our lives we are in, or what generation we are from, the grass will always be greener. These women were not satisifed in that ALL they did was stay at home, and look after the house and family. They didn't have the social options we do now. Women can do alot more now and the balance is so much easier to achieve than it was then.

where Mom stays home and raises the kids and Dad goes out and has the job. i think kids need a parent AT HOME especially during the younger years.


I agree, children need that stability, whether it is Mummy or Daddy.

having an option allows peope to know that they wanted this choice and they can be happier in the end because it is not placed on them as the only way of life.


Exactly, time provides us with more paths to choose, everyone will evebtually find a path that suits them and their family.

Some of the most fulfilled, inspired, energetic and wise women I know, are those who have raised children and kept house for there husbands.


It certainly suits some woment that is correct. How can anyone not get satisfaction out of seeing their child grow. They are some of the most rewarding moments ever. i agree a career pales in signifance next to such things. However I can understand why women feel trapped at home at times. When you have a new born baby, and are suffering from lack of sleep, when it is a major operation to just leave the house. When you don't have the mental stimulation of other adults. When you hear friends discussing their careers, and what they up to. I understand how home can feel like prison, though it does only last for a short time.

I think that womens true independence, there true defining differences and what makes them so much better than us men, are apparent in motherhood


That is a beautiful thing to say. Thanks for the comments!
Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top

In the 1950's women were getting married at 24 and having babies at 25. Now it's married at 28, babies at 29. Also in the 1950's women were more likely to be stay-at-home wives. They concentrated on keeping their husbands happy. They had more regular sex, and concentrated alot harder on making the relationship work. Now we have our own lives and careers to juggle, without worrying about our partners. Women are much more independent.

I'm not sure where they got that women were getting married at 24 back in the 50's.  I would guess that it was more like before 20.  There were still many family run farms that depended on large families to maintain.  I know quite a few women from that time period that were married before they were 18.

Also, I'm not sure where the figure of women getting married at 28 and having babies at 29 came from.  Most of the married women I know got married in their mid 20's.  I got married at 23 and had my daughter at 26.  (Most people get out of college at 22-23).

It's really hard to compare the 50's to now (heck women only had the right to vote for 30 years at that time).  The economy has changed a lot, and so has the views of women.  Women are supposed to be "super mom" now.  We should hold a full time career (not just a job, but a career), take care of the house, take care of the children, and still have time for school functions, socializing, and spending time with the hubby.  Too much stress.  But, too many times you hear people say "she is just a stay at home Mom" like that is a bad thing.  People in general have too big of a "grass is greener on the other side" idea.

To tell you the truth, I think that the world would be better if Mom's went back to the 50's way of life.  Stay home with the kids so you know what they are doing.  Take care of the house and make life comfortable and less stressful for everyone.  Ever see that "Good Wife's Guide" from the 50's?  It's actually fake, but what it says is right on for that time.  Heck, my Mom has an old cookbook from the 60's which tells you how to be a good wife.  My home economics (I'm sure they have some "PC" term for that now) teacher in middle school (80's) taught that women should be "presentable" to their husbands at all times.

Here's a question: why is it that most women don't wear dresses or skirts anymore?

Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top
why is it that most women don't wear dresses or skirts anymore?


It depends on which age you look at. There's plenty of early-twenties girls that wear skirts on the train that I catch in the morning. The older they get, the more likely they are to wear trousers, or so it seems. Any ideas why that might be?

Which country are you from KarmaGirl?