WOW

joonbug, you do sound like such a sweet girl. I sure hope things work out for you and Jeff.
Just don't be too judgemental of him. We all have our hang-ups. I don't know your ages but could be that Jeff just hasn't quite fully matured yet. Just let Jeff be Jeff and you stand by him and love him and he will come to see what a good thing that he has found in you. He will come to realize that he will never find another one that will love and treat him like you do. You must keep in mind though, that he can find someone to nag at him, whine to him, and smother him just about anywhere he looks. Don't be that to him. Get rid of that image. Tell him that as long as he is happy that you are happy. (Even though this may be hard to do sometimes.) If he does end up wondering off after some stray, its his loss not yours. It really don't matter if he has two porn mags or 2000. They are only made of paper. You are for real. GCJ

It's a good idea to start saving every penny you can for yourself, so that when you ARE ready, you will be ABLE to leave.....I can understand waiting. No one knows when you will be ready, only you know that (also, on sense spoiling the holidays for yourself). Have a good day!

GemCityJoe,

Darlin', you talk as if she is the reason Jeff does the naughty things he does...waiting for a man to grow up just isn't a good option. Trying to figure out why he's a mess, and he's not her mess, you know, isn't a good option either. Women can't fix these guys!

Joonbug! Darlin', you put yourself and your welfare first...respect the person you are, even if he doesn't...make a plan meaning, make yourself financially independent of Mr. Jeff, and find yourself a home to call your own even if it's one room. When you accomplish things that benefit you, you will be more confident in yourself, your ability to support yourself and your gut reactions to this kind of weird crap. Darlin', I'm telling you from experience, RUN!

Patty O

I don't know where you are getting that idea that I think that joonbug is the reason for his "naughtyness" as you refer to it. I don't see that Jeff is necesserily behaving in a naughty manner at all. When you consider all the men, and women that look at porn, it actually places Jeff right in with the majority. The point I was trying to get across is not to over-react. Relationships can sometimes take alot of work too hold them togather. If joonbug really does love Jeff, then she may need to give Jeff some room to breath and stop trying to fix what isn't broken. In other words, as I said before, let Jeff be Jeff. Thats one of the big problems with relationships. There is no unconditional love ever involved. One or the other is always trying to get the other to change and mold them into their little prince or princess charming. There is no Mr. or Mrs. Right out there. Joonbug may leave Jeff and end up with someone far worse. After all, she did say that as far as she knows that he has never actually cheated on her. I did think that was a plus for the guy. I do agree with you that joonbug should get herself in an independent state though, in the event that things don't work out. From reading joonbug's other postings, she doesn't sound like she in insecure with herself at all other than financially. She stated in one posting that she was a very nice looking girl and could probably get about any guy she wanted. Thats not the issue here. The point is, she wants Jeff. Jeff is obsessed with porn. That doesn't make him a bad person. It could merely be a phase that he is going through at this point and time in his life. I go through phases too. We all do. Maybe not with porn but it could be anything. I'm not saying Jeff will change. No one knows that not even him. I do know one thing though and that is, as men age that they do become less obsessed with sex and pornographic materials. I never was obsessed with it but it was of much more interest to me when I was in my 20's and 30's than it is now. Trust me, its kid stuff. As you mature, you will put away childish things. It just takes some people longer than others. Jeff may be well worth the wait. Relationships, like Rome, are not built in a day.

i didn't give you advice, but you can send me money. [email protected]