The joys of random sex
or not as is often the case!
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
I am obsessed by marriage it's official, maybe it's because I know it will never happen to me and this is my only way of facing the chosen subject, I don't know, but this blog is only mildlly related to marriage you'll be happy to hear, this blog is about random sex. I have a good bunch of friends who I respect a great deal, but if you ask any of them about the joys of random sex they will be more than happy to explain the pluses of such relations, though the negatives all out way the pluses in my humble opinion. First of all why do people turn to this way of having relations with someone? Shouldn't it be you meet someone, you get to know them, you go out with them, you fall in love, you have sex if that's the next progressive step for you? Apparently that is not the way things are done for some people, you miss out all the getting to know each other, the falling in love and jump straight into bed, and the difference between this and one night stands is you keep this person just as your f**k buddy, you don't have sex with them once and then move on, you keep this person just for sexual relations. With this person you are allowed to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and usually sexual relations between the two of you don't occur, but as soon as that relationship finishes they are there to keep you satisfied in the bedroom department.
Society is changing, relationships are changing. Years ago people met alot younger, got married alot younger, and then that relationship was the most important and the most effort was put into it. Today, we meet alot later, many couples don't even live together, today we want alot more freedom, we want to have our cake and eat it too. We want a loving partner, we want to go out with our friends, we want to be able to flirt, we want excitement in the bedroom, we don't want to be tied down. This is written from mostly what I've read and the perspective of my friends. The one thing my friends have in common they are all truely independent ladies. They have never needed or wanted a man for anything. They have always done their own thing and they are used to living like that and I can feel myself going the same way. We are so in tune with ourselves, is there really room for anyone else? That's why my friends have introduced themselves to the f**k buddy system. They get the attention of a man, they get the bedroom activity, they get their physical needs dealt with and that's it. They don't have to work at a relationship with them, they don't have the highs and lows of arguments and things (well in theory), it is done on a mutual understanding that each person doesn't owe the other a thing.
Writing this blog I was hoping to provide a valid argument for and against this way of life, but I'm finding it kind of impossible to make f**k buddies sound good, so my apologies if this seems one-sided. I don't care who you are, eventually any kind of relations with someone, will make you have emotional ties to them and this happens within these relationships too. They will deny it till they are blue in the face, but I've seen it happen time and time again. Because this random sex partner is there the whole time, they see partners come and go, yet they remain, they are the one constant in your life, and why is that? Is it because you simply don't face the other turmoils of regular relationships with them? Is it because you do just keep it one dimentional, so nothing else can possible effect it? Is it because this person stays a constant for a reason? You do have to have some kind of conversation with them, there does have to be some level of attraction, and over time, if you've picked the right person, you form a bond and this is where the problems start.
The lines become blurred. Where does your relationship with them stop? Do you have any rights? Should you really be feeling jealous? Should you really want them feelings to be something more? We are all human, at some point or another emotions get involved, and this is where the problems start. I've seen it with all my independent lady friends, that sooner or later they fall for this guy, or they start to view him as their boyfriend, and he's not. It works both ways I've seen the men do exactly the same thing. Relationships are confusing, and situations like this make it all ten times worse. Because though I'm sure lots of random sex can be fun, there can be repercussions, oh yes, babies! This has also happened, a few of my friends are now single Mummies, due to this. I don't mean to make my friends sound bad, they are just doing what they feel is what they want, and that's up to them, I can't help but feel they are selling themselves short in some way.
Even though I am surrounded by this ,and when I say surrounded, I can't think of one of my friends who hasn't done this ( I guess I'm the odd one) I have never done this, and I know for sure I never will. My friends get a kick out of it, they enjoy it and it seems to work for them to an extent. It's not for me though, maybe I'm unrealistic, maybe I live in fairytale land, I don't know, but I could never just have a sexual partner and none of the other things. I want to love someone, I want to care about them, I want to hold them, I want to be able to walk hand in hand with them. I want hugs when I feel sad, I want to laugh with someone. I want to be in love. The thought of missing out on all the things above just doesn't seem worth it in my opinion, Maybe it will take a while to find prince charming, maybe I'll feel lonely, maybe kissng so many frogs will hurt me like hell, but he will be worth the wait. Maybe I'm deluded and they have the right idea, I don't know, but you know what? I'm willing to take the chance that I'll end up with no one, than sell myself short.
Society is changing, relationships are changing. Years ago people met alot younger, got married alot younger, and then that relationship was the most important and the most effort was put into it. Today, we meet alot later, many couples don't even live together, today we want alot more freedom, we want to have our cake and eat it too. We want a loving partner, we want to go out with our friends, we want to be able to flirt, we want excitement in the bedroom, we don't want to be tied down. This is written from mostly what I've read and the perspective of my friends. The one thing my friends have in common they are all truely independent ladies. They have never needed or wanted a man for anything. They have always done their own thing and they are used to living like that and I can feel myself going the same way. We are so in tune with ourselves, is there really room for anyone else? That's why my friends have introduced themselves to the f**k buddy system. They get the attention of a man, they get the bedroom activity, they get their physical needs dealt with and that's it. They don't have to work at a relationship with them, they don't have the highs and lows of arguments and things (well in theory), it is done on a mutual understanding that each person doesn't owe the other a thing.
Writing this blog I was hoping to provide a valid argument for and against this way of life, but I'm finding it kind of impossible to make f**k buddies sound good, so my apologies if this seems one-sided. I don't care who you are, eventually any kind of relations with someone, will make you have emotional ties to them and this happens within these relationships too. They will deny it till they are blue in the face, but I've seen it happen time and time again. Because this random sex partner is there the whole time, they see partners come and go, yet they remain, they are the one constant in your life, and why is that? Is it because you simply don't face the other turmoils of regular relationships with them? Is it because you do just keep it one dimentional, so nothing else can possible effect it? Is it because this person stays a constant for a reason? You do have to have some kind of conversation with them, there does have to be some level of attraction, and over time, if you've picked the right person, you form a bond and this is where the problems start.
The lines become blurred. Where does your relationship with them stop? Do you have any rights? Should you really be feeling jealous? Should you really want them feelings to be something more? We are all human, at some point or another emotions get involved, and this is where the problems start. I've seen it with all my independent lady friends, that sooner or later they fall for this guy, or they start to view him as their boyfriend, and he's not. It works both ways I've seen the men do exactly the same thing. Relationships are confusing, and situations like this make it all ten times worse. Because though I'm sure lots of random sex can be fun, there can be repercussions, oh yes, babies! This has also happened, a few of my friends are now single Mummies, due to this. I don't mean to make my friends sound bad, they are just doing what they feel is what they want, and that's up to them, I can't help but feel they are selling themselves short in some way.
Even though I am surrounded by this ,and when I say surrounded, I can't think of one of my friends who hasn't done this ( I guess I'm the odd one) I have never done this, and I know for sure I never will. My friends get a kick out of it, they enjoy it and it seems to work for them to an extent. It's not for me though, maybe I'm unrealistic, maybe I live in fairytale land, I don't know, but I could never just have a sexual partner and none of the other things. I want to love someone, I want to care about them, I want to hold them, I want to be able to walk hand in hand with them. I want hugs when I feel sad, I want to laugh with someone. I want to be in love. The thought of missing out on all the things above just doesn't seem worth it in my opinion, Maybe it will take a while to find prince charming, maybe I'll feel lonely, maybe kissng so many frogs will hurt me like hell, but he will be worth the wait. Maybe I'm deluded and they have the right idea, I don't know, but you know what? I'm willing to take the chance that I'll end up with no one, than sell myself short.
i also could never have a f**** buddy! i am waiting until marriage but even if i wasn't i wouldnt be able to give myself away like that to someone without it being a serious relationship. in my opinion, sex is a very special and important thing and shouldnt just be "given away". there have even been studies (i read about in a health magazine) that even if you dont get a disease or get pregnant from the person and it just a one night stand, you are still damaging yourself emotionally whether you realize it or not. even if you dont feel bad about it at the time, eventually the build up of having sex with random people or having sex without love can catch up to you. it's kind of complicated how it all worked but i can look it up later if you want. anyway, i really respect that you are not giving in to doing what your friends do. 
....that's a good question!