Bob searching for the almighty Capt. Cornbread

Has my hero run away with Paul?

from JoeUser Forums
Well it's been about a whole week since myself and Bob have talked to the great almighty Capt. Cornbread. You see, most of you don't know who Bob is. Well Bob is my pet llama. He is the only llama to ever be on a piece of college rule notebook paper. He was created by a very bored me in my second period life planning class. He's not your typical llama. He has buttflames comming out of his arse. And what looks to be a wee-wee. LOL. (my friend tried to draw it! Sick little perv. hehe) He's white with brown spots and he likes to eat cheese and cats.(he's part related to Alf.)

Anyways~ Me and Bob are very good friends with Capt. And Bob has asked for me to put out a search for Capt. (he would do it, but he can't type) So, he said that anyone that locates the Capt. will be rewarded with $25,000 worth of Ducks. (ha! you thought it was going to be money didn't you?) Well if you don't know what the capt. looks like, well your just out of luck then. Just look for a guy that has long brown hair and likes to wear hot pink lipstick. I think he's the only guy that looks like that. Oh, and he likes to wear purple fingernail polish. (at least that's what bob told me)

I'm thinking he might have run away to Canada. I'm not for sure though. He also has with him one of Bob's closest friends. His name is Paul Wood. Paul is a door stop that was takin from the school by Capt. Cornbread between the months of May and June. He is light brown in color and has a chip missing on the end of his wood. He likes to go swimming in drinking foutains and likes to bathe in them also. He was last seen with the Capt. on the date of June 7, 2004 at 1:00pm in the afternoon est. time. If you have seen him please call 1-800-Sav-Paul. We would really appriciate your help in solving this mistery. Please, no prank calls or Bob will personally come and toilet paper your house with smelly old green socks!!

Please help out Bob. He is in desperate need of finding Capt. and Paul.

~carebear~

(if you don't get that this whole thing is a joke by now, something's wrong with you. lol j/k. LOL.)
humor
11,608 views 14 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
i thought this was very interesting......i like the way you presented it....with a little work you will be producing excellent reading material...and by the way he did not go to canada ........he went south to fla.......they passed my house this morning...but paul had alady with him she was kinda skinny but fat, her black hair was blonde, and i can't say for sure but i think she had been drinking.......good luck
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
i thought this was very interesting......i like the way you presented it....with a little work you will be producing excellent reading material...and by the way he did not go to canada ........he went south to fla.......they passed my house this morning...but paul had alady with him she was kinda skinny but fat, her black hair was blonde, and i can't say for sure but i think she had been drinking.......good luck
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
i thought this was very interesting......i like the way you presented it....with a little work you will be producing excellent reading material...


Thanks for that really cool comment Drflavio!


and by the way he did not go to canada ........he went south to fla.......they passed my house this morning...


Hehe! That's funny, cuz Capt. used to live in Florida, so it makes him sound like he was visiting family down there or something.

~carebear~
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top

Well if you don't know what the capt. looks like, well your just out of luck then. Just look for a guy that has long brown hair and likes to wear hot pink lipstick. I think he's the only guy that looks like that. Oh, and he likes to wear purple fingernail polish. (at least that's what bob told me)


CareBear~I spotted a funny looking dude across the street today that fits this description big time! And he was taking a funny looking llama for a walk on a long gold chain! Plus he was nibbling on some cheese, and feeding some of it to the llama, etc. So was this the Capt. then? Should I go ahead and call that 1800 # ASAP! So let me know soon, huh? . I was LMAO at this one big time~and I knew deep down it was some sorta joke, huh? . I mean, no way is that Capt. gonna run around with all that make up on! Maybe the llama could use the lipstick instead, huh? . Very nice work here~keep 'em coming big time!


~MadPoet

Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Omg!! Madpoet, I think you might have spotted him!!! Cheese and llamas definatly give it away big time!! So yeah go ahead and call the number. Oh, and let me know what they tell you.(call them on this thread! hehe.) I'm sure they'll have you answer questions. Yeah, I figured since he hadn't been on for a couple of days that I would make it into something humorus. Well you never know about Capt. He could be very well wearing all of the make-up!! What color was the llama?? Then I could tell what color of lipstick it needs.

Thanks for taking a peek!
~carebear~

Ps: I will keep you updated on any info i get on Capt. and the where abouts of him and Paul.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
UPDATE ON CAPT. CORNBREAD:

Comming to you live from the LLAMA studios in Columbus, Ohio.

We give you Hempty Stump with the news coverage......take it away Hempty...........

There has been a new report on the where abouts of Mr. Capt. Cornbread. A faithful listener by the name of Madpoet has called our 1800 number with info on where he might have spotted Capt.

Snegtry~(operator)~ Hello, you have reached 1-800-Sav-Paul.

MP~ Yes, Hello, I have info on Capt. Cornbread.

Snegtry~ Yes, please state the where abouts and the time that you saw him.

MP~ Well he was crossing the street that goes right by my apartment.

Snegtry~ Yes, and um did he have anyone or anything with him at the time?

MP~ He was taking a funny looking llama for a walk on a long gold chain! Plus he was nibbling on some cheese, and feeding some of it to the llama, etc.

Snegtry~ And what time was this?

MP~ It was.........................*static*......................more *static*..............................beep, beep...........beeeeeepppp.

At this time the phone line was disconnected and we were not able to get ahold of Mr. Madpoet for any further info. So if any of you other civilians have seen a strang looking man, please call 1-800-Sav-Paul. And Mr. Madpoet, if you are listening to this broadcast and you are out there, if you have any futher info please call us or come personally to our broadcasting staion. And if you Mr. Capt. Cornbread are listening. Beware, we are out to find you.

This has been Hempty Stump with your Specail News Broadcast. Tune in later this evening for more details.

~carebear~
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

Snegtry~ And what time was this?

MP~ It was.........................*static*......................more *static*..............................beep, beep...........beeeeeepppp.


MP~this is MadPoet calling back about the Capt and that funny looking llama! Sorry about getting disconnected before~but I just about had a heart attack because I spotted the Capt in my park across the street this time, and  he had 2 llamas on a long gold chain by his side, and a purple sea gull perched on one of his shoulders!


Anyways, now that I am calling you back, he was last spotted over in the Safeway parking lot (I just got back from there a short while ago!), and he was doing some kind of a weird little dance with one of the llamas, and a crowd had gathered to watch him make such a spectacle of himself big time! He is now wearing green lipstick, and his finger nails are painted a strange bright orange color! Oh, and he had somehow taught one of the llamas to walk around the crowd with a cap hanging from its mouth, and folks were putting spare change and even dollar  bills and some cheese in the cap! It really was quite a sight for sure! .


I don't know what happened to the sea gull~it wasn't with the Capt. anymore. Just those two funny looking llamas (one was a light green color with dark green polka dots, and the other one was hot pink colored with red polka dots)~I've never seen anything like it before. And now the Capt. has his hair all spiked and everything~and actually, I think folks were really getting a kick out of his little performance! Anyway, this all happened at about 7am (Oregon time), and I don't know how the Capt. got all the way over here with those two crazy llamas and all, but I really do think the dude is going through a crisis or something~and needs our help big time! So please send somebody to Oregon ASAP~he was last spotted at that Safeway over there on 12th Ave. (downtown). Please send somebody quick! And let me know if he is gonna be okay (plus if those llamas are gonna be okay too, etc.)! Thanks again! *click* Sound of phone hanging up.


A very shocked and concerned MadPoet


 


 


What color was the llama?? Then I could tell what color of lipstick it needs.


CareBear~one was a hot pink color with red polka dots, and the other one was a light green color with dark green polka dots, etc. I didn't notice any lipstick on their lips though.  However, they sure were eating a lot of that cheese, and even some of the dollar bills that folks were stuffing into that cap big time! Please do another update ASAP~so I will know how the Capt and those poor llamas are coming along, huh? Thanks again!


~MP


 

Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Did I ever tell you that you scare me sometimes?....I mean...wow...anyway, it was...."interesting"...I'm a tad afraid...and I'm not quite sure what to say...so, I'm going to go now...uh, see ya.

~Zoo
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think I found him... the last time I saw him, I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth. I looked down and he was gone. I looked back up, and there he was again. I went to go call the help-line, but when I got back, the light was out and I didn't see him anywhere nearby.

If I see him again, I think I'll just try and catch him with a net made of the hair stuffed in the drain of the bathroom sink. I need to clean it out anyway.

Until then...

Capt. over and out!

(did you hear THAT? I think I just heard the Capt.'s catchphrase!)
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think folks were really getting a kick out of his little performance! Anyway, this all happened at about 7am (Oregon time), and I don't know how the Capt. got all the way over here with those two crazy llamas and all, but I really do think the dude is going through a crisis or something~and needs our help big time! So please send somebody to Oregon ASAP~


Dear Mr. Madpoet,

Our answering machine picked up your call. We've sent one of our top agents to Oregon as soon as we got your messege. We really do appreciate you calling us back. So thank you so much!

Sincerely,
Fig Newton
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think I found him... the last time I saw him, I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth. I looked down and he was gone. I looked back up, and there he was again. I went to go call the help-line, but when I got back, the light was out and I didn't see him anywhere nearby.


Dear Mr. Capt. Cornbread,

It seems odd that you saw him while brushing your teeth. Next time try not to look down. Just stare him down in the eye until he can no longer take it anymore. Now when you went to call the help line did you turn the light out or did he? Next time you might want to turn the light back on. Or even try a black light. Also, make sure that he didn't go down the drain for sure. he might have got caught up in all that hair somehow.

Capt. over and out!(did you hear THAT? I think I just heard the Capt.'s catchphrase!)


Well, next time you hear it just hit the guy in the mirror with a shovel or poke him in the eye with your tooth brush. That might give you time to catch him. But please let us know if you hear anything else about him.

Sincerely,
Fig Newton
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
IMPORTANT UPDATE ON MR. CAPT. CORNBREAD:

Once again this is Hempty Stump with your evening news...........take it away Hempty.......!!!

Good evening ladies and gents. And welcome to the evening editon of LLAMA news. Tonights top story is on the search for Capt. Cornbread and the missing/posssibly stolen Mr. Paul Wood.

Recently our caller Mr. Madpoet called us back with more info on the where abouts of Capt. Cornbread. He has located him again accross from his apartment at a nearby Safeway in Oregon. This time he was seen with not one, but two llamas. One was said to be light green w/ dark green polka-dots and the other hot pink w/ red polka-dots. They were both being led with a gold chain and they were holding hats in their mouths collectin cheese, food, and money for doing an exotic dance. So right away we sent a specail agent to Oregon as fast as we could. Our agent, Mr. Johnny Appleseed, said he spotted Capt. Cornbread with the llamas in the Safeway parking lot. They seemed to be taking a leak. Along with them Paul Wood was spotted riding one of the llamas blind folded. Soon, the Capt. was spotted comming out of Safeway at approx. 8pm. Cornbread spotted mr. appleseed and emmediatly took off. Mr. Appleseed chased him down 12th street until he lost him in a crowed of naked dancing iguanas. Our most recent info was from a man who calls himself Capt. Cornbread. We are not sure if he is the 'real' Capt. or not. He did happen to see him though. (read call posted above) If anyone has any info please call 1-800-Sav-Paul. Thank you.

Next on LLAMA..............are you sleeping in long enough??........................

This has been Hempty Stump with your evening news. Good nighty!

Hempty
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hi, this is CareBear. I have some info for you guys up there at the headquarters. Last night I went with a couple of friends to go see the new movie Spiderman2. Well before the movie was about to start, this funny looking guy around the age of 16 or 17 came in and sat down by me. He kind of resembled the Capt. a little bit. I asked him, but he said that he was not the Capt. and that his name was Brandon Costlow. I don't know wether or not to believe this guy or not. I mean, he fits the discription perfectly, and he said he had just gotten off of work and that he might smell a littl bit, but he didn't smell bad, he smelt like llamas, and he even had some green and pink hairs on his t-shirt. The location of where i spotted this guy was in Ohio. So I believe that the Capt. is in Ohio now. I was going to turn him in but, he had to leave and go fix his flat tire on his car, so I thought I'd let him go and not bother him anymore than what I already had. I hope this helps!

Best wishes,
~carebear~
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
Flat tire, eh? I think it was just a stealthy decoy to escape your clutches.

This man is sneaky. Don't let him out of your sites, if at all possible. Of course, I don't have too much trouble finding him. He is my idol, and I DO stalk him at times...

Capt. over and out!

*stab* Oww... Dang it! He took the spork from me and shoved it into my eye, just as I was trying to pull it out on him... That sneaky Capt. I'll get him. Just you wait!