All About Marriage...
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
I got this from one of those Friendster Bulletins. This is an interesting read. 
Marriage (Part I)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking
lady and after the
wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what
time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from
you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table
unless I tell you that I won't be home for
dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-
playing when I want with my old buddies and
don't you give me a hard time about it. Those
are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me.
Just understand that there will be sex here at
seven o'clock every night... whether you're
here or not."
(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day
of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting
you a headstone that reads,
'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting
you a headstone that reads,
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a
fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are
no good in bed either,"
and storms out of the house.
After sometime he realizes he was nasty and
decides to make amends and
rings her up. She comes to the phone after many
rings, and the irritated husband
says, "what took you so long to answer the
phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his
achievement. He is so proud
of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"
Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides
that it's time to go home and wants to find out
if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts
at the top of his voice, "Shall we go
home 'Mother of six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of
discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're
ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
God may have created man before woman but there
is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
Marriage (Part I)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking
lady and after the
wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what
time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from
you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table
unless I tell you that I won't be home for
dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-
playing when I want with my old buddies and
don't you give me a hard time about it. Those
are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me.
Just understand that there will be sex here at
seven o'clock every night... whether you're
here or not."
(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day
of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting
you a headstone that reads,
'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting
you a headstone that reads,
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a
fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are
no good in bed either,"
and storms out of the house.
After sometime he realizes he was nasty and
decides to make amends and
rings her up. She comes to the phone after many
rings, and the irritated husband
says, "what took you so long to answer the
phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his
achievement. He is so proud
of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"
Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides
that it's time to go home and wants to find out
if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts
at the top of his voice, "Shall we go
home 'Mother of six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of
discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're
ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
God may have created man before woman but there
is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.