Today's Army: Nose Jobs and Cold Beer

from JoeUser Forums

        Two stories only related by the military.

        One of the Army's least known and more peculiar perks just may be free plastic surgery. The Army surgeons who perform reconstructive surgery on wartime casualties need someone to practice on. Enter soldiers, veterans, and families of the Army, Reserves, and National Guard. According to Dr. Bob Lyons, Army Chief of Plastic Surgery, they can offer any kind of cosmetic surgery for free. "I have not seen any restrictions on our practice whatsoever," he says.

        Between 2000 and 2003 they performed 472 breast enhancements and 1233 liposuctions amongst other purely cosmetic elective surgeries.

        Guess that's one perk Lynndie England never heard about .    *

 

        The supermarket cashier today couldn't wait to talk about the weird encounter she had just had. A young man came into the store holding an opened beer can.
        "I bought this last night," he said, "and now it's warm. Can I exchange it for a cold one?"
        "I'm sorry," she replied, "but once we sell alcoholic beverages we can't accept returns."
        He stared at her for a second, then said, "But I'm in the Army!"

        The cashier was laughing about it later. "That's one I'd never heard!" she said.
        Must have been one of those "JEEPs" Dharma was talking about.

 

        * I swear the first few times I saw those pictures I thought Lynndie was a man. Whoops.

humor
5,129 views 3 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

Hey, thanks for the name drop and the links...I'll see if I can return the favor sometime!

Yes, the military does do some plastic surgery.  You have to have a medical/psychological need for it though.

JEEP...Junior Enlisted Expendable Personnel, for those who don't know.

Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
"I bought this last night," he said, "and now it's warm. Can I exchange it for a cold one?"
"I'm sorry," she replied, "but once we sell alcoholic beverages we can't accept returns."
He stared at her for a second, then said, "But I'm in the Army!"


so, smartaz, do soldiers think they have some bizarrre type of "diplomatic immunity that's not for diplomats" ?

this was something i had never considered. is this a regular occurence that soldiers try to use their positions for favourable treatment ?. and do they actually get it ?

great article. mig XX
Ashes of the Singularity II
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hey, thanks for the name drop and the links...


Anytime, Dharma. Gotta give credit where credit is due.

do soldiers think they have some bizarrre type of "diplomatic immunity that's not for diplomats" ?

this was something i had never considered. is this a regular occurence that soldiers try to use their positions for favourable treatment ?. and do they actually get it ?


The thing is, we don't have any way to know if this guy was actually a soldier or not. Since the war started there have been lots of perks extended by generous people to military personnel and their families (free theme park admission in Southern California, for example). Maybe some get used to it and start to see it as a right rather than a gift? I don't know. This might just be some loser who saw the generosity extended to our military and decided to try taking advantage of it.