Married and Buried

from JoeUser Forums

Do you realize that there are only two times in your life that you're 'pronounced' as something?

When you're married "I now pronounce you husband and wife" (Or if you're from San Fran or Mass. "husband and husband" or "wife and wife")

And when you die "He was pronounced dead on arrival.."

Hmm.....makes you think, doesn't it?

humor
10,293 views 12 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

I never noticed that before. It hink you are right expect.... informally I have often pronounced many people to be Fuckweasels, Assclowns, or just Slack-Jawed-Booger-Eating-Morons.

 

Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
And I am sure I remember a past girlfriend pronouncing me as a pimple on the butt of humanity....
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
I should prefer the term at SF Mass to be "you are pronounced lifetime partners." And for whimsical or insincere marriages ineluctably fated in divorce, regardless of orientation: pronounced "dead on arrival." 
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top

Some of us still believe pronouncement of death is the only way out of marriage.  I always tell my husband "you're not getting out of this alive, one way or another".


Great observation though! 


Greywar, assclown is still one of the funniest things I have been introduced to lately.  Where did the term come from?  I don't know what it is supposed to mean but it sure makes me chuckle.

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top

I like "assclown" as well.  It always makes me grin....

Jill, you're right about dying being the only way out of marriage.  I tell Dave the same thing. 

Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Doesn't the phrase "assclown" come from the movie Office Space? It's a line by Michael Bolton "...some no-talent assclown..."

-T.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
I like Grewars teutonic version: AssenKlownen.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
AssenKlownen is actually the plural. (Or double plural. I'm not sure. It's like booben.) I'm not sure if I share credit in its conception or not, but I sure used the hell out of it while we were in Almania.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
I eat my boogers when I masturbate. I also scrape my anus with my index finger and chew the cheese out. I am into embarrasment parties and exabitionism. I like to piss, shit, fart, jackoff and eat boogers in front of other people.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top

I like to piss, shit, fart, jackoff and eat boogers in front of other people.

You also like to make a complete asshole out of yourself on forums, huh?

Go play somewhere else, little boy.

Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
If I am not mistaken, you can also be pronounced legally insane. Oh, and maybe blind, can't you? Handicapped? I thought it was any state the powers that be had to verify.