I find city razing is part of the game, and a risk to deal with. That said, there are two long time issues here:
1- Insta-razing for AI and not for player is just not fair.
2- Insta-razing for monsters is infuriating, since there is no way to rebuild the city nor resettle the tile (salted land).
1 Should be fixed ASAP. Same rules is a must here. Everyday someone posts a complain about it, and many of us post to support it, still with the hopes of getting a response...
2 Any change here might be appreciated. Linking the number of turns needed to raze, to the level of the city would be a nice solution. Or a plain number (like 2 turns to raze: one turn to kill half the population and the second turn for the coup de grace). Maybe this way could fix #1 too.