English Teacher Nightmare TYPO

By on April 18, 2012 7:40:13 AM from Elemental Forums Elemental Forums

Elrhamlin

Join Date 03/2011
+1

[TYPO] Extra word in the description for Naegach The Stonecutter --
The phrase "second engineer to on the fortress" should be "second engineer on the fortress,"
or possibly there is a missing proper noun after the word "to."

[TYPO] Incomplete sentence "The Path of Wind and Woe" -- The sentence "But when the
prisoners eventually stopped the creatures, now hungry for the blood and flesh of men,
came out of the cavern, attacked the commander's army and dragged them all back into the
cavern's depths" is an English nightmare.  It begins with a preposition which is improper.  
It has more than one possesive which is poor style.  It has an improper implied subject
due to a missing verb structure (i.e., should be "when the flow of prisoners eventually
stopped, the creatures").  It is a run-on sentence despite being incomplete.  I am not
going to try to fix it all because I am not sure what was intended, but this sentence
is an awful mess.

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April 18, 2012 7:55:27 AM from Elemental Forums Elemental Forums

Yeah, that sentence is totally whack. It should be someting like:

"But when the prisoners finally stopped, the creatures now hungry for the blood and flesh of men came out of

the cavern. They attacked the commander's army and dragged them back into the depths of the cavern."

 

 

 

 

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April 18, 2012 8:19:31 AM from Elemental Forums Elemental Forums

That's an amusing sentence. At the same time, I think you always write silly things like that when writing huge amounts of text. I know I do. Thankfully, it's a beta, and such things can be fixed.

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April 18, 2012 10:15:06 AM from Elemental Forums Elemental Forums

Fixed, thanks.

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