I agree heroes can be toned down but the biggest problem is the lack of aggressive neighbors. I was playing with on med map, normal with moderate monsters and once I cleared the area around my cities they were never attacked. It is too easy to set off on an endless adventure with your heroes and never break up the "Killer stack".
yes, like i said already THIS is the problem
its not too fast or too easy or anything
the problem is you can do WHATEVER you want, literally, and there is no consequence for that
heroes should be needed to defend both from monsters and from enemies, since they are not you can free farm+
and they should die, sometimes, maybe add a resurrection spell or something like cheat death, but being ALWAYS immortal is no good